Thursday, December 17, 2009

Corinthians 4:7

Ashley Anderson sent a message to the members of Daily Devotions.

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Subject: Dec.17th—Seeing Yourself As God See’s You!

From The Word for You Today by Bobb Gass Ministries

“We have this treasure in earthen vessels.”
2 Corinthians 4:7

The Bible says God works through “clay pots…to prevent anyone from confusing God’s…power with us.” That way when people see good things in us, they know it’s God. Jesus pointed out that a clay pot containing a candle with a lid on it may be full of light, but people can’t see it. Only when the pot is cracked does the light shine out through the imperfections—in the same way God’s grace shines out through us (See Matt. 5:14-16). Nothing about you surprises God. He chooses “the foolish things…to shame the wise…the weak things…to shame the strong…so…no one may boast” (1 Cor. 1:27-29 NIV). The question then becomes, can you love and accept yourself as God’s does? By having a judgmental attitude towards yourself, you’re contradicting God’s Word and opening yourself to Satan’s attacks. Paul refused to sit in judgment of himself: “It matters very little…that you…investigate and question…me. I do not even put myself on trial and judge myself” (1 Cor. 4:3 AMP). Paul had learned to let go of his past and press on, but he didn’t think he’d “arrived” (See Php.3:12-14). He was aware of the areas he needed to work on, but he refused to keep beating himself up because of them. Never forget, God thought so highly of you that He sent His Son to save you from your fallen state and future state. He “gave Himself…that He might redeem us…and purify for Himself a people…eager and enthusiastic about [living a life that is good]” (Tit 2:14 AMP). Who perfects us? God! You’re a work in progress, so start seeing yourself as God see’s you.

Wow, I have nothing to say except WOW.

What I am thankful for today:
An awesome two days with Makenna
time with Jen
Getting to see Tanner's Christmas program this morning
Seeing Leon today
An awesome PartyLite Show!
my friends
shopping with my dad last night
our Christmas tree...thanks dad
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie!!!
Melinda, thanks for the chat yesterday!
Diane
Rachel
the message I received from Sue today (a girl I graduated with)
Makenna and my haircut tomorrow
8 more days until Christmas!
Gavin's good report card
hearing my pop-pop talk to me last night
Christmas cookies
Christmas music
holiday cheer
laughter
love

Monday, December 7, 2009

Revolation

I have lots going through my head today! Now, where to start. Have you ever woken up from your sleep as if a huge bright lightbulb had gone off in your head? It happened to me on Sunday morning. It was quiet in my house for a change and I actually had all these thoughts running through my head that I could concentrate on. Ya know, without hearing.."Mom, Mommy...or MEOW!!!!" LOL!

Was it God talking to me? Was it my angels? I really cannot be sure. In this process of transforming my life and learning who I really am, this is the first time that I put it all together. What is awesome is that I have learned who I am....on my own. Shutting out outside influences, other than God, I know who I am and I am not caring as much about what others think of who I am. Here is some of what I came up with:

I care...sometimes way too much since it makes me sensitive to all emotions, even those emotions that are brought on by others hurtful words or actions. If only I could not care as much as I do.

I am a caretaker.....I love taking care of others, including my pets.

I fall in love easily. I love people. I love learning about their lives and hearing their experiences. I love the things I can learn from each person I meet.

I can be stubborn when I believe in something to the fullest. But I try to keep an open mind and I do not push my beliefs and opinions on others.

Communication is something I am still learning and realize that I need to speak through God not through anger and frustration.

Little things make me happy. Simple things are all I need.

I can now appreciate and find the good in almost every situation. Even the situations in my own life that seemed horrible, I am able to see the lesson I was supposed to learn.

Although we may make choices that we look back on and think, "what was I thinking?" There is a reason for the choice we made. It may have hurt someone, it may have put us in a worse situation, it may have altered our lives in a bad way. Good thing is that it doesn't keep us in a bad situation forever. And, something good does come out of it. Can we explain why God wants us to learn certain lessons? Maybe not right away. Is it our intention to hurt people? Not for most of us. Some people are out to hurt us though. But, forgiveness is key. If we choose to hold on to anger, it becomes bitterness. If you chose to not forgive, stay untrusting, and place blame, the only person we are hurting is ourselves.

At times in the past I felt very alone. I was always searching for someone or something to fill me up. Like a drug addict looking for drugs or an alcoholic drinking their lives away, I became an addict for someone to love me. I could have over eaten and turned to food or become a compulsive buyer but I didn't. Obviously no addiction is a healthy one. Well, except being addicted to scrapbooking..LOL! Once I came to this revolation of myself, I was able to look back at my life and figure out all the reasons I chose what I did in my past. Do I look at them as mistakes....no. They are lessons. And, I know that all these lessons have brought me back to God.

Yvonne and I had a nice long conversation on the phone this morning while Makenna was at pre-school. She let me know that in the last few years of her knowing me, I have made a huge change in my life. She said she knew that I was getting ready to allow God back into my life. Would I have been ready to do this if I would not have learned from my lessons? Most likely no. Yvonne also told me of a quote she once heard....'When your face has hit the floor, the only way to look is up.' Sometimes it takes us to land on our face before we realize that God is there to help us and take care of things for us if we allow him to. Although people may judge and critize our decisions, we need to make them to learn the lessons that God wants us to learn. In heaven we will learn the truth to everything in life.

What I am thankful for today:
being able to let go of anger and frustration
Linda for making cookies with Makenna and I on Friday and for taking Makenna for the weekend. Also, I am thankful that she and the rest of her family still treats me like family.
my children
Linda and Bob eating dinner with us last night
my new customers
my classes
the simple things in life
a great night's sleep last night
Yvonne and her inspiring words, her kindness, and her friendship.
Time with Missy on Friday night and her friendship.
love
my customer Debbie and our awesome conversation on Sunday.
my friends
my family
laughter
creativity
God
the health of my loved ones and myself
The Secret
the ability change my life

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Advent Wreath & Thankfulness

Standing at the school today waiting for Gavin, I was discussing with some of the parents how much time just flies. None of us can believe that it is already December. It is funny that when we were kids, Christmas could not come fast enough. As adults it comes way too fast. To help the kids 'wait' for Christmas Jeremy and I have been creating an advent wreath of helping hands and adding to it each day. It was a project we started at church during the Advent Adventure event. Every day Makenna does something to help us out around the house. We write what she did on a tracing of her hand and tape it to a paper plate. In the middle of the plate are the 4 votive cups we created using tissue paper. Makenna looks forward to doing her helping hand every day. Gavin feels that he is too old for this project, but he enjoys helping his sister create her wreath.

I have been continuing Makenna's thankful list with her. We talk about what we are thankful for every day. Today she was thankful for: the Jeep being fixed for Mommy to drive, doctors, animals, Mommy, Daddy, Gavin, buttered noodles, pre-school and her belt. LOL! Funny that not one single toy was mentioned. I am very grateful that she is thankful for so many unmaterialistic things. I am sure she will be thankful for her toys, but how awesome is it that they do not mean as much to her as all this other stuff? I am so proud of her.

What I am thankful for today:
getting to watch Melissa, Gavin, and Makenna play charades (very funny)
The Biggest Loser (cried the almost the entire 2 hours of the show last night) Very inspiring!
Makenna being so well behaved at my 2 1/2 hour doctors appointment today.
flannel sheets
Makenna lending a helping hand
salad
Gavin being such an awesome big brother to Makenna
a car to drive
time with Linda on Friday
lunch with Jen tomorrow (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!)
cheese and crackers
my warm coat
clean laundry
Jamie (my soul-sister)
Shawn
Diane
Jen
Rachel
my cousins Randy and Jennifer
my kids
laughter
smiles
hugs
compliments
appreciation
support
love

Sunday, November 29, 2009

After the Fire

After the Fire by Amy Grant

After the fire is over
After the ashes cool
After the smoke has blown away
I will be here for you

After the stillness finds you
After the winds of change
All that is good and true between us
This will remain the same

Slowly...slowly
We turn the page of life
Growing...knowing
It comes at quite a price

(Repeat chorus)

After your time of wand'ring
Along this lonely road
There will be many voices calling
Mine will say, "Welcome home"

Slowly...slowly
We turn the page of life
Growing...knowing
It comes at quite a price

(Repeat chorus)

I will be here for you

Another great Amy Grant tune reminding us that God is there for us, always. Last night at church was Advent Adventure. It was a great way for Gavin and Makenna to learn about advent and the celebration of the birth of Jesus on Christmas Day. We all made blue deserts and ate hot dogs and mac and cheese. Jen and her 3 boys came with us. We created 4 advent candles using tissue paper and glass votive cups. It was a lot of fun. Today at church Pastor Tricia welcomed our family into the congregation. Everyone was so sweet and so friendly. I cannot believe how many people came up to us and thanked us for being there. We enjoyed coffee hour which followed the service. It was nice to get to meet so many friendly people who embraced us with open hearts and open arms. Jeremy and I are very blessed to have found this awesome church family and to be able to introduce religion to our children.

What I am thankful for today:
That God takes care of everything we need....if we let him.
A great time last night at the church
a wonderful service this morning
new customers who attended my class today and signed up for another one.
Diane
Rachel, thank you for your email today....I love you!
Jen and her boys
Jamie
my peaceful spirit
laughter
my children, I am so thankful for all the compliments they received on their behavior this morning.
my store
my family
my friends
Christmas music
Amy Grant
time alone
kindness
love

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today was a very good day. After getting a great night's sleep and waking up with Makenna by my side, I felt so grateful for so many things in my life.

I am so thankful for the time I got to spend last night with Diane and Rudy's family. Diane and I spent a few hours creating Christmas cards together then Rudy's mom and sister came over. Katie (Rudy's niece)and Makenna had a blast playing together. I believe that Katie and Makenna are very close in age and share the same middle name. It was a nice night.

Diane made us a pumpkin pie in which Jeremy and I took to his moms house today. Of course it was delicious. I had so much fun with Jeremy's family today. Nana was in good health, we got to spend time with Uncle Danny, Aunt Pam and the kids, and had a wonderful dinner. Bob and I had fun doing the dishes together and yelling at Harley, their dog. Every time we turned around that dog was either in the trash or up at the table.

In this past year, I have had many things to be thankful for. I have met some wonderful new people through the Farmer's Market, my store, Makenna's pre-school.....just to name a few. Besides issues with my ovaries, I have been in very good health as well as my kids and Jeremy. I am so thankful for the ablility to live more simply, to be creative, and to stay positive through tough times. I was blessed to meet Linda from the Healing Place in which has helped me tremendously. My therapy has helped me heal so many wounds and stay on track for a better future. I am thankful for all the weight I have lost and have kept off. I am blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people who love and support me and my family. I am thankful for Makenna's pre-school and the fact that she loves it so much. I am thankful to have found a church that I love and my family loves. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for my friends.....the ones who have come and gone and the ones who stay. I am thankful for the life lessons I have learned this past year and the new attitude I have. I am thankful that I have allowed God to enter my life again.

Of course I am thankful for food, water, and a roof over my head. I am thankful for my store, my customers and my teachers. I am thankful for healing, forgiveness, open minds, kindness, loyalty and love. I am thankful for the stranger who smiles at me, those who inspire me, those who give me advise and do not get upset if I do not take it. I am grateful for those who love me just as I am and do not judge me. I am so thankful that I have learned that I do not need very much to make me happy. And, I am thankful that every day, I learn more and more how to master unconditional love. I know now how much more satisfying life is when you are surrounded by many who love you than it is to have a bunch of money or material things. I am very blessed when it comes to many positive people being in my life. I have so many friends.....true, honest friends, who continue to stand by my side in my life's journey. God has blessed me so that I would not have to go through life ever feeling alone.

I am thankful for the time I get to spend with my children. Knowing they are only little once, I do not want to miss one moment with them. I have been able to put a lot of the things I enjoy on hold because I know that spending time with my children is more important than anything right now. I am fulfilled on the inside with love and gratitude, more than I ever have felt before.

I need to thank everyone for being a part of my life. Thank you for teaching me life lessons. Thank you for accepting me for who I am and loving me as much as you do. I thank God every single day for you.

I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving and have thought about all the things you have to be thankful for. I could go on forever since I feel like the gratitude is pouring out of me right now but I will close. Again,Happy Thanksgiving. I am truly blessed having you all in my life. Thank you.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Lead Me On

Lead Me On by Amy Grant

Shoulder to the wheel
For someone else's selfish gain
Here there is no choosing
Working the clay
Wearing their anger like a ball and chain.

Fire in the field
Underneath a blazing sun
But soon the sun was faded
And freedom was a song
I heard them singing when the day was done
Singing to the holy One.

Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.

Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.

Waiting for the train
Labelled with a golden star
Heavy hearted boarding
Whispers in the dark
"Where are we going--is it very far?"

Bitter cold terrain
Echoes of a slamming door
In chambers made for sleeping, forever
Voices like thunder in a mighty roar
Cry to the Lord.

Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.

Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.

Man hurts man
Time and time, time again
And we drown in the wake of our power
Somebody tell me why.

Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.

Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.

Lead me on
Lead me on
To a place where the river runs
Into your keeping, oh.

Lead me on
Lead me on
The awaited deliverance
Comforts the seeking...lead on.

I have loved this song since I was a teenager. I think it is awesome that one musician can inspire people the way Amy does. She has inspired me since I was 14 years old. Sitting here listening to Amy as I type this, I remember the darker days of my teenage years. Remembering that her music was one of the things that seemed to lighten and uplift my heavy heart. I could have turned to drugs, I could have started smoking or drinking. Instead I locked myself in my room and put on one of Amy's CD's. It was something my youth group listened to all the time when we were together. I miss those days....sometimes. However, I would not change where I am at this point in my life. Amy will continue to uplift me with her lyrics and her soothing voice. Her reminder that we will all be in a better place someday and that God is always with us, keeps me going. I am so eternally grateful for her and her music.

Today I am thankful for:
Amy Grant
her music
a wonderful church service on Sunday
Makenna behaving so well in church
Jen R.
Diane
Melinda
Jamie
Rachel
Heather
Wendi
Sally
Jeremy
Rudy
Shawn
my children
my pets
the positive changes in my life
laughter
The Secret
everlasting friendships.....I am so blessed.
the simple things in life
the health and happiness of all those in my life
kindness
loyalty
unconditional love

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Do Dead People Watch You Shower?

I am reading this book that was given to me by one of my favorite customers/teachers from my store. It is called Do Dead People Watch You Shower? It is written by a woman named Concetta Bertoldi who is a Medium.

When Wendi learned that I LOVE learning about life after death, ghosts, and so on...she said that I have got to read this book. I started it two days ago and am already half way through it. I think I am on page 115 to be exact. I cannot put this book down. You can click on the title of this blog entry and see Concetta's website for yourself.

If you are wondering what the answer to that question 'Do dead people watch you shower' is.....the answer is yes. You are all thinking...oh my GOD! Why would they embarrass us this way? Well, there are many answers to this question. One thing you need to know is that when we cross over we are One with God, all of the same energy. So, if God is with us all the time (even in the shower) so are your loved ones who have crossed over. The good news is that when we cross over, we do not judge. We could care less if the one in the shower has a big butt, picks their nose, wears silly clothes, uses shampoo, punched a wall, were gay and so on. What they care about is our emotions and our state of being. When we cross over, we are surrounded by and fulilled with love, forgiveness and happiness, not anger, loss, or sorrow. We will not pick sides of an argument, or 'roll in our grave' as some would say during a awkward or bad situation that is going on down here. Like God, we will love unconditionally in heaven even if we didn't learn it while we were here on earth.

One of the reasons why I love this book is because I have had personal expreriences with loved ones who have passed on. I know already who I will see when I step into that light. It gives me peace.

One of the statements I read that made me laugh was: Are there different levels of heaven for different religions? Her answer was no. God not only made different races but different religions so that we could come together as One with God. God wanted us to have choicesand be different. What made me laugh is that she made the statement that you do not go into the light and ask, "Where to the Catholics go?" And you do not get an answer like, "Catholics to the left, Jews to the right, and Prodestants down the hall." When we are one with God, we are One. It doesn't matter what race, sex, or religion we were here on earth. Which means it doesn't matter what we believe in as far as religion as long as we believe in God.

Before I close, I need a lot of prayers for multiple people in my life. One is my friend Jen who lost her grandfather yesterday. Jamie lost a friend of hers to a motorcycle accident two nights ago. My cousin Randy's mom is in the hospital. My sister-in-laws grandmother is ill. Melinda's Nan is still hanging after weeks of not doing well. And we need some prayers for Tricia. May they all find the comfort and the peace they need to get through each passing day.

What I am thankful for today:
Wendi sharing this book with me
the awesome abilities that Mediums have
my children
an awesome walk and time at the park this morning with Diego and Makenna
another beautiful day
knowing that our loved ones who have passed are always with us
creativity
sunsets
nature
quality time with my kids
quality time with my friends
the power of prayer
my store
my customers
my teachers
happiness
laughter
time with Jen today
Jeremy for taking me to the doctor yesterday
hot chocolate
everyone who loves and supports me unconditionally

Sunday, November 15, 2009

John 12:27

Let not your heart be troubled.:
John 14:27

Jesus said, "My peace I give to you...Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." Underline the words "Let not." You can't control what goes on around you, but Jesus said you can control what goes on inside you. How? By doing two things:
1.) Filling your mind with God's Word. Jesus said, "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). Rearrange your priorities and take time to read God's Word each day. Process it, apply it to each circumstance, and stand on it in times of difficulty. You'll be amazed at the results!
2.) Praying about the situation, then leaving it confidently in God's hands. Here's a prayer to help you do that: "Lord, everything seems to be falling apart around me. Everybody wants a piece of me. There's far too much to do and never enough time to do it. My head is clogged with all kinds of junk and my heart is ready to break. Lord, where are You? I feel like the disciples in the storm, the waves are too big for me. My cry is the same as theirs, 'Somebody go and get Jesus- I'm about to drown out here!' Prince of Peace I need you. Father, who never slumbers nor sleeps, take charge. Let me find in You a quiet place, a place where I can pillow my head on Your breast, hear Your loving heartbeat and feel secure knowing You'll work things out for me. This I pray, believing, in Jesus' name, amen."

Today I went to church, it is Makenna's pre-school. She was singing in the service today with her class. For months...well actually years now, I have been praying for the opportunity to arrise where I could feel 100% comfortable in a church family. Well, I love Makenna's teachers and I always feel welcome when I go there. Today in church, I had this feeling of such contentment. It was very comfortable for me. The sermon was about unconditional love which, I had recently blogged about. Of course that peaked my interest. It was so laid back. I honoestly felt like I belonged there today. In the next couple of weeks, I am considering going back to see if my feelings continue to stay so positive. If they do I am highly considering becoming a member. Right now in my life I feel the need to be surrounded by a church family. A positive place in which I can go and feel welcome and content. Most of you know that I firmly believe that we are all in the right place at the right time....whether or not it always feels that way. I feel that God was leading me to this church.

I checked my email and saw this scripture sent to me which comes about twice a week. I had to post it. For all of you who feel the weight of the world, the lack of support, and unexpected life changes that may seem to be changes for the worse.....this scripture should help. God loves us and is ALWAYS there for us. He is there to carry the burden and remind us that we need to accept the things we cannot change. We need to focus on the positive and the beauty that surrounds us each and every day. When we do this, all things bad will go away. Yes, it can be a task to be grateful in a time we think we lack so much. These scriptures and my beliefnet articles keep me in check and on the right track. May you find the peace you need to get through any struggles you may feel. May you find the faith that you need to let God take care of things for you. Pray.....because he is listening.

What I am thankful for today:
Makenna doing so well this morning
the church experience I had
positive thoughts
the power of prayer
this beautiful day
my friends
Sally for being such a wonderful person
Jeremy
my children
my pets
Magic Jack
my customers
the sunset
I love you's from Jamie
PMS Day...so FUN! Thank you girls for coming!
The Biggest Loser...so inspiring!
having internet at my store again!
Thanksgiving with Jeremy's family this year
laughter
love

Sunday, November 8, 2009

So Much Going On but Life is Good

I am coming off of a very busy week. Both kids were sick which put a change of events in the works. However, both are much better now and I stayed healthy!! Whoo hoo!

Melinda's Nan is still hanging on. Like I had said there may be some unfinished business there. Just knowing how ill she was last week has us all stumped. No one knows how long she will be with us and are just enjoying each moment we have with her.

Lots of awesome opportunities arrose at work. I will be starting to teach classes at the Hellertown Library in December. And, shortly after that, I will teaching classes at Saucon Manor right down the street from my home. Business is picking up and my classes are getting much fuller. I have met so many new wonderful people in the last few weeks. It makes me laugh to know that these woman think they are not good at their crafting when in reality they are very very good at it! I have had some beginners. When I say beginners...I mean, all they own is pictures...LOL! Yesterday I enjoyed helping them start their new hobby.

A wonderful customer of mine, Kathryn, will start teaching classes in my store in December. She has been such a wonderful supporter to me and my business. PMS Day is very popular with the ladies and each month seems to get fuller. A woman Michelle who was referred by another one of my awesome customers, will be coming to talk to me about the possibilty of teaching photography classes at my store. Her work is very similar to Sabotta Imagery. Jeff has been extremely busy and unable to teach classes for me. But I am so thrilled that he is as busy as he is doing something he loves.

Life at home is good, life at work is good. I cannot stop thinking about all that I have to be thankful for. I think for the first time in my life, I absolutely love who I am and who I am becoming. (No not in a concieted way....LOL!) That catapillar that once thought she was ugly inside and out is finally evolving into that butterfly she has always wanted to be. A huge thank you goes out to everyone who continues to love and support me. Thank you for being my inspiration, my rocks to lean on, the arms I can run to when in need of a hug, the smiles I need when I am feeling down, and the glue that helps hold me together. Life is good but it is because of you that helps make it and keep it that way.

What I am thankful for today..
my friends
my teachers
my customers
this beautiful day
creativity
nature
my children
my pets
the health of me and my loved ones
the sunshine
pancakes (thank you Jer for making them this morning!)
the time I had with my kids this past week
laughing so hard my stomach hurts
Shawn
Rachel and her sarcasm
Diane for being the best neighbor and friend!
Jamie...thank you for coming over Friday!
All the time I get to spend with Jen
lunch with mom
my store
time alone
new opportunities
appreciation
loyalty
kindness
selflessness
love

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Letting Go of the Ones We Love

Today ended up being a very different day than I had expected. I called it, Spontaneous and Emotional. Nothing was planned, and what I did do was a very emotional thing. Being on the phone with one of my best friends who is in the process of losing her grandmother, I found myself wanting to reach out in a way I never thought I could. Melinda and I have seen each other through so much in the last 14 years. We have seen each other in many different lights. When my grandmother passed away, I was not in the same place as Melinda is watching her grandmother through the dying process. I was selfish. I felt bad for the suffering that Mimi was experiencing, but I could not get past the suffering that I felt in order to let her go. The emptiness that I had feared since I was a child, was becoming a very unwanted reality.

A family member of Melinda's is feeling very similar to how I did. While Melinda is at peace with this and praying for her grandmother to go home and be at peace, this family member is scared for what lies ahead after Nan's passing. After I opened up to Melinda about my feelings when Mimi passed away, we both agreed that it would be very beneficial for me to have a talk with her Aunt. Going to Nan's house today was very emotional to me. I had no idea what she was going to look like, nor did I want to remember her at such an ill state. When I saw her laying in her bed, she looked so peaceful. I looked at her and told her that she already looked like an angel. My heart felt peaceful.

I had a chance to stand next to Nan and rub my fingers over her forehead. She opened her eyes and said to me, "I just want to go home. I want to die." Tears streamed down her face as I felt that huge lump in my throat. I told her that she needed to pray and ask God to take her home. I also told her that we were all praying for her as well. While Melinda was by her side I took a walk whith her Aunt. When asking if she was ok, she answered that she was now but did not know how she would be once Nan was gone. My only way of explaining my own selfishness to Melinda's Aunt was to say that, "When we revolve our lives around one single person for so many years, it is almost impossible to even think of them leaving." Knowing that I told myself as a child that Mimi would never leave me, Melinda's Aunt admitted to me that she never pictured her life without her mom. It is a huge transition in our lives. Neither Melinda's Aunt nor I wanted to see our loved ones suffer at all. It is just a matter of not knowing how to stop our own pain and not knowing if we ever will.

Our talk went well. I know it was as beneficial to me as it hopefully was to Melinda's Aunt. It is ok to be selfish, angry, frustrated...and so on. God will forgive us, even if we feel angry at him. Nan asked Melinda's Aunt to stay by her side. So, I told her to go be there and embrace each moment she has left with her. Tell her the things that she feels because I had always regretted not telling Mimi all the things I had wanted to say. I tell Mimi now...in fact she is the one I talk to most. She was my best friend and continues to be. And unlike the few years after her death, I have healed from the loss of Mimi. I know Melinda's Aunt will as well. It takes time, prayer and support from those who love you.

I am deeply grateful that I had the chance to know Nan for the last 14 years. I am thankful that she was an inspiration to me and all those who surounded her. I honor her faith and her strength and her belief in God. I pray tonight that Nan passes in peace and isn't holding on because she is afraid to leave Melinda's Aunt behind. I am eternally grateful for the chance to tell Nan good-bye and that I loved her. She has always treated me like a part of her family and because of that, I am truly blessed.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs.

Do you know that besides God there are only two beings that know how to give unconditional love to it's fullest? Any ideas? It is our pets and our children. We can lock our pets outside without food and water for a week and they will still love us. We can smack them on the but with a newspaper when they pee on the floor...and they still love us. We can go months without paying any attention to our pets, and yet they still come running when we come in the door, they still sleep at our feet at night, they still show affection.

Same goes with children. A friend of mine is a social worker and used to tell me stories of her times going into homes to take away babies and pets from abused homes. These babies are beaten, neglected, malnurished by their parents and yet, they still want to be held by them and they still love them.

As I get older, I now finally at 36 years of age, know what unconditional love means. For me, it is taking the good and the bad of a person and loving them anyway. It is looking past their flaws and embracing the good in them. It is standing by their side through any given situation whether you believe it is wrong or right. It is the understanding that when we have a problem with someone else, it is actually an issue with ourselves. Once we realize that we can let go of the opinions and learn how to deal with people and situations much better. Not everyone is going to like everything about a person. Thanks to Heather not only did she point this out but she also made sure that I knew it is ok. It is how we deal with what we do not like about that person that matters.

There are 4 families that after being around them for over 15 years, I can see the uncontional love they have for one another....and for me. They have made me a part of their families with no hesitation. I have seen them over come such struggles and hold each others hands while going through it. I hope and pray that I can learn from them in order to be as they are with my children. I may not agree with their decisions as they get older, but I will always be there for them....letting them know that along the way. I always tell my children I love them and I always will. I will be there by their side through everything....maybe biting my lip at times, but know they need to grow and learn without my opinions. I want them to learn how to practice unconditional love so that they can pass it on to others that enter their lives. I am still learning and will continue to learn knowing that everything takes time.

What I am thankful for today:
The Borelli's
Jamie's entire family
Melinda's entrie family
The Platt's
my children
my pets
my teachers my customers
my friends
my family
unconditional love
this beautiful day

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Do You Honestly Heal Your Emotional Wounds

Through therapy sessions I have learned the difference between healing tears and tears of depression and saddness. I have learned that if you are still crying over something and it has been years since it has happened, you are not crying healing tears. You may not be one to talk to a therapist, you may not be someone who talks about issues at all. And, you do not need to talk to anyone other than God. Know that talking does help no matter how much it hurts. Surpressing feelings will not allow the healing process to even start. It also makes a person spiteful, angry, frustrated, and unable to grow. It also keeps a person from being able to be truly grateful.

Most of us have suffered from a broken heart. Whether be a loss of a mate, a pet, a friend, a relative, even a child. Some have experienced all of the above, including myself. Some have experienced other tragedies that keep them mourning for years. We all need to heal and let go of the weight we carry which keeps our heart feeling heavy.

Life is too short. We need to let go and move on. We honestly are not living if we chose to keep mourning events and loss from the past. Turn those tears of saddness and loss into healing tears. Cry with hope instead of loss. Ask your angels to put their hands on your shoulder, ask God for help in healing. Ask the universe how if you are unsure. You will get your answer.

I have come a long way from losing a friend in a car accident, watching my grandmother lose her battle with cancer (who was also my best friend), losing a baby, losing jobs, losing relationships...and so on. And although there will always be that little part of me that misses the people I have lost....I know they are still there. I do not cry anymore over the fact that they are not physically here. I rejoice in the memories of the time I got to spend with them. I embrace the memories through pictures and visions in my head. I talk to them as though they are standing right next to me. I am fulfilled because I know they are still right beside me, alhtough I cannot see them. I am healed.

What I am thankful for today:
the time I had with the love ones I have lost
the power of prayer
the power to heal yourself
time with my children
the friendships I have had for a long time and the friendships I am creating now.
laughter
healing and the healing of others
the article in The Morning Call
the call I got today from Saucon Mannor
the health of my loved ones and myself
my peaceful mind, body, and spirit
my home
my store
support
loyalty
love

Monday, October 19, 2009

An Unexpected Email

I recevied this email from a very old friend of mine today and wanted to share it.

Reading through this I thought about you and the strength you have to conquer all. I know that times have been rough, but you truly are an inspiration to many (including your family) for setting goals and pushing forward until achieving each and every one. I am glad to hear that things are going well for you. Hopefully the shop is staying busy. Talk to you soon.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful.
But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning that other colour, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!

MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER! FRIENDS FOREVER!

Sometimes I wallow in self pity. But it isn't long before I realize that it gets me no where. Everyday I write or say at least 50 things that I am thankful for. There is so much in my life right now that I could be ungrateful about, however I do not allow my focus to go there. Besides I am surrounded by people who support me and love me for who I am. Those who feel they know how I should live my life I have distanced myself from. So, I am in a good place. My children are happy and well taken care of and I am feeling better than I have in a long time. Everything works out if I stay positive. Although my vehicle is being used by Jeremy at this time, because of my friends and my cousins, I always have a way to get where I need too. Although I do not have a printer, my neighbor and Jeremy always make sure to print out what I need for the store. My neighbor and my friend Jen offer to watch my kids if I need someone (which is not often at all.) These are just examples of the ways people are helping me. I am so fortunate that I have the friends I have and the support from Jeremy despite our situation. I can stay focused on my store and I have been inspired to be more creative while I am there. Yes things at the store were slow. And, I believe being surrounded by negative people made it more diffcult for the positive to flow through me and through my store. New customers are in every weekend and so many people are putting my store on their facebook, passing around flyers for me, displaying my business cards and so on. I am very blessed and so thankful for each and every person who helps me, supports me, and makes my life easier. Funny thing is that I do not have to ask people, they offer. It is amazing what keeping a positive attitude can do. Of course I return the favors, what are friends for?

What I am thankful for today:
my friends, old and new
people telling me that I inspire them
creativity
new customers
my strength
positive attitudes
gratitude
those who love and support me the way I am and do not try to change me or the way I live my life.
my children
Chloe aka Monkey and how affectionate she has been towards me lately.
new classes
Makenna's school pictures which are BEAUTIFUL!
the pumpkin patch tomorrow with Makenna and Gavin
Randy and Diane for allowing me to use their vehicles
everyone who helps me with my business
music
each and every new day
my health
each moment spent with the ones I love

Thursday, October 15, 2009

You Choose

The Secret

Understand that you are not condemned to being stuck in your past, you are not just your past. Sure, that’s part of you, it even helps define you and inspire you. But it’s entirely up to you whether your past acts as an anchor or a launch pad. Make the choice: you can choose to play the victim and stay the victim, or change the script, stick the S on your chest, and become a hero.

OOOOOHHH! I love this! Growing up with a friend, who is now in the past, I remembered how toxic she was to me because her negativity. I remember her constantly blaming her past for everything that was going wrong in her life. Recently I have heard that she was diagnossed with MS. And, not to my surprise.... she is not handling at all.

Now, my dad's best friend's wife...(got that? LOL!) has MS and has had it for a while now. She was a dance teacher. When I used to do her nails, I remember thinking, "Wow, she does not act like anything is wrong with her." She was always smiling, laughing, and being an inspiration to everyone around her. She actually turned a bad thing into a very positive thing. She does MS talks to those who have been diagnossed with the disease. She also still continues to teach dancing to adults. Yes, she has her daily struggles and some days are worse than others. However, she keeps her way of thinking, positive. She does not place blame, and her attitude and open mind are what keep her 'swimming.'

Here are two women with the same disorder. Each of them made completely different choices. One, will probably go down hill pretty fast because of her negative ways while the other continues to shine and make the best of each day.

We do have the choice to handle a situation either in a positive or negative way. Just like we have the choice to keep blaming our past for everything, or treat it as lessons learned and know days ahead will be better. It is all in your mind. It takes one negative thought, then another and another to ruin your day. Good news is that it works the same way with positive thoughts. Turn that one negative thought into a positive thought, then another and another. You will then see the turn around. If you cannot think positive, then write down or say a few things that you are grateful for. This will bring those positive thoughts into your head and your heart.

Stop placing blame and remember that we all make the best decisions for us no matter what anyone else thinks. Stop living in the past. You want to be positive, then do so. It is YOUR choice.

What I am thankful for today:
people who inspire me
time with Makenna
a good nights sleep last night
a great day today
laughter
friends
lessons learned
my kids
Disney movies
hot tea
omlets
practical jokes (thank you Jer..lol!)
appreciation
Melinda possibly moving closer really soon!!!!
my hair cut tomorrow...been since July!
time
energy
health
happiness
love

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Psalm 91:4

He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

Psalm 91:4

Could this be why I am seeing feathers all the time? I read this in my Beliefnet article yesterday. If you are interested in receiving these articles, go to www.beliefnet.com They have some awesome angel sighting pictures along with articles to uplift your spirit. The quotes are uplifting as well. And, there are many suggestions on how to get through difficult times.

Last night after getting myself a cup of hot tea, winding down after an awesome day a the store yesterday, I noticed the sunset out my front window. It was numerous shades of pink and orange and very hard to miss. Whenever I see a beautiful sunset, I always point it out to my kids. It is such a wonderful thing to see all that nature gives to us and yet it asks for nothing in return. Makenna was so excited that we had to go sit on the porch and watch it. I took my tea and sat there with her. Her smile was from ear to ear as she pointed out all the amazing colors she saw. She could have stayed there all night...as well as myself. It kept changing to darker shades as the sun went down. It was amazing. Because Makenna had to brush her teeth, she went in the house with Jer. It was getting chilly anyway. I remained outside finishing my tea. I decided to take that quiet moment and pray. When I was done, I envisioned that sunset out of the front windows of my dream home. I pictured myself on my deck in a rocking chair feeling the soft breeze on my face. I could feel that I was not alone. It was a sense of peace and contentment. We all should take some time out in our day to pray and to dream. It calms the spirit and clears the mind of negativity. Give yourself that time to be thankful and ask God for the strength that you need to make the best of each day ahead. Sometimes all it takes is 5 minutes. We all are worth it.

What I am thankful for today:
The girls who came to PMS Day yesterday:
Jen
Wendi
Kathryn
Jennifer
My Best Friend's Wedding ("from the moment I wake up...I say a little prayer for you!")LoL!
laughter
sunsets
my children
my friends
my pets
energy
the health and happiness of my loved ones and myself
the power of prayer
nature
dreams and goals
being down 20 pounds!! WHOO HOO!
walks with Jen
a wonderful day today!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A Forever Friend

How excited am I right now? Not only did I have yet another fabulous session at The Healing Place today but my bestest friend in the world has moved back to the Lehigh Valley! I cannot express how happy I am to have Jamie close by. My therapist calls Jamie and I Soul Sisters. We act as one person. God has blessed us both by putting us together through our lives journey. We talk or email almost every single day. We end our conversations and emails with, "I love you." Not many are as blessed with such a wonderful friendship as we are. We have had our ups and downs, but we always come out on top. Our friendship continues to grow stronger with each passing day. It is amazing to me that we can read each other's minds, finish each others sentences, feel each other's feelings, sense when something is wrong. We share in each others excitement, cry with each other when we are sad, vent with each other when we are angry. We are each others cheerleader, confidant, therapist, angels here on earth.

Here is another poem that Jamie wrote to me:
A Forever Friend
How I wish my words could say
just what you mean to me today.
The love, support, and care we give
helps us both to better live.
Always there for you, I swear,
nothing could not keep me there.
No matter what the future brings,
you and I remain all things.
A forever friend in you I've found
to be with me til life goes down.

I dedicate this poem A Forever Friend to you Amy my best friend. With love forever and always,
Jamie

What I am thankful for today:
Jamie
our everlasting friendship
her only being 15 minutes away!!
laughter
unconditional love
loyalty
forgiveness
silly moments
wonderful memories
my friends
The Healing Place
Linda
Diane for watching Makenna and taking me to my appointment
Jen for walking with me in the wind and leaves this morning (hopefully you will not get hit with anymore acorns....LOL!)
therapy
my peaceful mind
a great conversation with Jenny yesterday
new PartyLite products
hot tea
the colorful leaves
Tiramisu (thank you Rudy for taking out Mak and I yesterday!)
clean laundry
clean bathrooms
my abundance of time and energy
my health and the health of my loved ones

Sunday, October 4, 2009

You Will Rise

"If you feel angels in your hair
Teardrops of joy run down your face
You will rise" DM

A phrase that continues to run through my head....
I will rise and be stronger with each passing day. I will also be right here, in the hands of God. Those who are by my side will be those who remain my dearest friends until the end. God bless everyone who has made my life so much easier and fulfilling. God bless you for being so true to me and so loyal. I will spend the rest of my life showing you how thankful I am. I love you all.

What I am thankful for today:
music
my friends
support
loyalty
kindness
a positive mind, body and sprit
my children
Jamie
Diane
Jen
Shawn
Rachel and the time I had with her and the kids
Jeremy
new PartyLite
a clean house
Burger King chicken fries and onion rings
a beautiful day today
new customers
a wonderful day tomorrow
laughter
love

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Everlasting Love

In my venture of routing through my old things, I have come accross yet another poem written to me. This one is from Jamie.

Everlasting Love
There is something special that you hold,
You have never acted towards me, bitter nor cold.
Always willing to lend me a hand or even your shoulder,
Nothing you have done for me could have been bolder.
Not one person could possibly come close to relpacing you.
There have been many memories along with laughs which
somehow managed to get the both of us through.
I cannot begin to express to you;
You remain the sole person who I can unquestionably trust.
That remains a miracle, for with our friendship that is a must.
I never would have expected you to be this true.
You stand beside me though the colorful times,
even those which are blue.
Nothing will ever take our friendship away from me.
We will prove to them that we have that everlasting friendship,
let them just wait and see.
An everlasting love that we share,
will always carry me through all times, especially when I need you there.

By Jamie 9/02

What I am thankful for today:
The fact that I have such wonderful friends and that we make each others lives so much more fulfilling.
Everlasting love
Everlasting friendship
loyalty
selflessness
my children
my pets
the gift of time
each and every new day
the sunshine
changing of the seasons
upcoming PartyLite shows
my store
my home
my health and the health of my loved ones
happiness
laughter
signs from my angels

Monday, September 28, 2009

You

I found this poem that Melinda had written to me when I was having a difficult time in my life. I am so thrilled that I found it and can reflect on our friendship that has been going on for about 14 years now. I believe that this poem is true for everyone and had to share. Hopefully it touches you the way it has touched me.

You
You are truly the only person controlling you
You are the one who can make your own decisions
You are the one who feels your feelings
You are the one making yourself get out of bed in the morning
You are the one giving love from your heart and from your heart only
You are the one who makes yourself happy
You are the one who makes yourself want to enjoy life
You are the one who makes yourself smile on a rainy day
You are the one controlling your tears, your fears, and your emotions
You are the one in charge of you
You are the one who dreams your dreams
You are the one who sets goals for yourself
You are the one who achieves those goals for yourself
You are the one who you can count on and rely on
You are the one who experiences sadness in yourself and happiness in others
You are the one who deserves everything you want in life
You are the one who GOD loves for being you
You are the one GOD chose to make into you
You are the one who loves yourself the most
You are the one who needs to be able to control yourself in times of frustration
You are the one who gets angry with yourself for forgetting things
You are the one who gets frustrated at yourself for doing rediculous things
You are the one and only you are the one who controls your emotions and the anger that builds up inside of you
You are the one think in your life that you should never let down
You are the one who should love yourself and everything you do for yourself
You are you and you need to love you no matter what you think
You are a meaningful person and a kind person~you give from your heart, your mind and your soul
You are a friend I am glad to have and I cherish our friendship in every way
You are the one I know I can count on and you are the one I feel comfortabole talking to
You are you and I like you for the laughs and the giggles we share
You have a special place in my heart and I am glad for our friendship
You are meaningful to others that surround you
You are a wonderful person
You are you and I am honored to be a part of your life

With all my heart and soul,
Melinda

What I am thankful for today:
finding things you need right at the right time
Melinda and her awesome friendship
Mums
Jen
Diane
Jamie
Rachel
Shawn
Heather
my peaceful mind, body and spirit
having my parents over for dinner tonight
smiles and laughter
personal jokes
thoughtfulness
kindness
poetry
friendship (I am sooooo blessed!)
a great class tomorrow morning
Makenna doing so well in school!!!!
Gavin
time with Rachel, Logan and Lauren on Wednesday
Pampered Chef
PartyLite
Stampin Up
my parents
Jeremy
the power to change your mood
positive thinking
gratitude
appreciation
love

Friday, September 25, 2009

Another Great Quote and Song

The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.

- Benjamin Disraeli

I have to say that I have been blessed by those around me who have shown me my inner strength. Sometimes we lose ourselves in negativity, we second guess ourselves, and of course we are our own worst critical judges. It is nice to be surrounded by people who can see wonderful things in you and point them out. We all need reassurance sometimes. Everyone gets down and feels the weight of the world at times. It is how we deal with it that matters.

Advice from my therapist on Wednesday was to take more quality time with just me. So, last night I took a bath while listening to Delilah. I lit candles, wrote in my Gratitude Book and just relaxed. A song came on that I have not heard in a long time. It is called Make It Happen by Mariah Carey. Some of the lyrics, especially the chorus really hit me. Like The Secret says, we are exactly where we are supposed to be. I needed to hear this song and it came on right when I needed to hear it.

Not more than three short years ago
I was abandoned and alone
Without a penny to my name
So very young and so afraid
No proper shoes upon my feet
Sometimes I couldn't even eat
I often cried myself to sleep
But still I had to keep on going
Never knowing if I could take it
If I would make it through the night
I held on to my faith
I struggled and I prayed
And now I've found my way

Chorus:
If you believe in yourself enough
And know what you want
You're gonna make it happen
Make it happen
And if you get down on your
knees at night
And pray to the Lord
He's gonna make it happen
Make it happen

I know life can be so tough
And you feel like giving up
But you must be strong
Baby just hold on
You'll never find the answers
if you throw your life away
I used to feel the way you do
Still I have to keep on going
Never knowing if I could take it
If I would make it through the night
I held on to my faith
I struggled and I prayed
And now I've finally found my way

Chorus

I once was lost
But now I'm found
I got my feet on solid ground
Thank you Lord
If you believe within your soul
Just hold on tight
And don't let go
You can make it
Make it happen

Some may give up you, or at least they seem to. Not everyone in the world is going to like everyone, and you are not expected to like everyone either. Surround yourself with those who know all your flaws, know all your crap and still love, support and are there for you. If you still feel alone, God and your angels are always there. Ask you angels to help you with every decision that you are confused about. Ask them to lay a hand on your shoulder and embrace your soul. I read this in a Beliefnet article. It really helps if you honestly believe. Let your guides; spiritual and physical, be your support group and distance yourself from anyone or anything negative. You will feel better and see how amazing your life can be. Let your guides show you the beauty inside yourself. And, help others see the beauty in them.

What I am thankful for today:
music
angels
another great afternoon with Rachel
a nice walk with Jen this morning
this beautiful day
the health of my loved ones and myself
a great therapy session
an awesome dinner tonight
the power of positive thinking
candlelit baths
Delilah
the changing leaves
Melinda for helping me with Spa Night at my store
my customers
my teachers and their awesome ideas
Gavin for being such a good kid
Makenna and her silliness
Diane
Jamie
Heather
laughter
love
forgiveness

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Focusing on the Problems of Others

This was given to me from Linda at The Healing Place and I thought I had to share it with everyone.

It should only be talked about if the talking will make you feel better. It is of no value, ever, to activate and talk about something that doesn't feel good because it reactivates it in your vibration; it makes it another point of your point of attraction so you're less clear.

In other words, when you focus upon the problems of others, you diminish your ability to help them. People believe that you've got to focus upon the problem in order to find a solution. And we say, no solution ever comes forth- it's never inspired; you never recognize it, and you are never able to facilitate or achieve it - from your place of focusing n the problem. They are two entirely different vibrations. If you have someone who has many things going wrong and one things going right, beat the drum of what's going right, and let that be your point of attraction. If you focus upon their problems, you achieve vibrational harmony with something other that the Source that gives you solution.

Linda actually had this printed for someone else but I had asked her if I could have it. It hit me because... I love to help people and maybe get myself too wrapped up in their issues. Of course because I care about the person, I am affected. I never saw a way to avoid that until I read this. Trying to focus on the good in my life, why didn't I ever think to focus, and try to get other people, to focus on the good in their lives? Well, now that I know....

When I was at my appointment it was the very first time that all my chakra's were open. Linda and I looked at each other in amazement. I no longer need to see her as often as I was. I now have absolutely no feelings of physical stress. How many of you can say that? If you are ever interested in getting rid of those belly aches, tightness in your chest, headaches, backaches, or whatever you feel under stress....please see Linda. She is amazing. I have passed her card out to many in hopes to help others find their happy place and relieve themselves of physical pain. We all deserve a good life...one without pain caused by every day stress. A huge thank you to Linda for changing my life!

What I am thankful for today:
Linda
living without pain caused by stress
Sally (thanks for everything....including the TWIX...YUMMY!)
A full card class today!!
New customers that have been popping in all weekend
Wendi (thanks for being such a great person!)
the power to "float"
PartyLite
a nice walk with Gavin and Diego this morning
playing restaurant with Makenna
Jamie (love you girl!)
chocolate chip cookies
Rudy and Diane inviting us over for AWESOME cake last night!!
Maryann and her awesome layouts
Jen R. (thanks for making me laugh until my stomach hurts!)
Heather (thanks for coming over for dinner on Friday!)
Jeremy
Melinda for constantly checking up on me...LOL (thanks for the ear plug suggestion)!
Rachel for her sarcasm...God she cracks me up.
Diane for EVERYTHING!
my store
my health
my healing each and every day
knowing that we are exactly where we are supposed to be.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Just Keep Swimming

I am back! It has been two weeks since I have blogged and I apologise to those who are faithful readers and who were looking for inspiration, for taking so long. I want to take the time to thank all of those who have been commenting on how much of an inspiration I am to them. This blog about my life, has helped me heal not only myself but others as well. Some may not agree with my conclusions, my beliefs, or anything that I write....and that is ok. It is your choice whether or not you read it. And, your choice to take things whatever way you choose.

In a well needed therapy session this past week I mentioned to my therapist something that Shawn had brought to my attention. He said, "What would you do if someone threw you into a body of water?" I of course said, "Swim." When he asked why, I said, "So that I don't drown." Basically what he was getting at is that when the world seems to come down hard on us, we keep going and do what it takes to stay alive. A cute image of Dory from the Movie Finding Nemo suddenly popped into my head. It was the part of the movie where she sings, "just keep swimming, swimming swimming." I start to laugh every time I think of it. I know it what I need to do however, this anchor keeps trying to pull me down. My therapist loves my analogies since they are usually humorous. However, she said to me, "Amy, why don't you take the time to just float? Stop and take a break so that you do not get tired of swimming in this pool of life." I was like, "Float? Why didn't I think of that?" It is probably because I am too busy swimming to stay alive that taking a break was never even an option. After a lot of praying and talking to my angels for guidance and support, I feel like I have accomplished the floating. LOL!

When you are feeling the weight of the world, just float. That is my new advice. Think about those positive people who ARE by your side. Chances are they outweigh those who are not. Think about the things you have to be grateful for. Think about and picture in your mind the things that make YOU happy. Look for advice in those who believe in you and do not judge you. In time it is as if everything else will just disappear. What you are left with is peace.

The quote I received today was: Champions get up, even when they can't. Being knocked down in the past to the point of being in a depression, I was far from a champion. This time I am not allowing ANYTHING to bring me down to the point of staying there. The song, "Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty was on when I left my store yesterday. I turned off the radio and smiled. I know I am strong and no one will make me believe me otherwise.

What I am thankful for today:
My truest of friends:
Jamie
Rachel (thanks for coming over today!)
Melinda
Marty
Diane
Rudy
Heather
Jen R
Shawn
the wonderful ladies I have met through my store (thank you for your support!)
my therapist who is so proud of me right now!!!
Finding Nemo
music
the power of prayer
my strength
standing up to what I believe in
Makenna doing well at her first day of school
time with my children
my home
my store
my future
this beautiful day

Monday, August 31, 2009

What I Believe In

Rudy once said to me, "No matter what anyone thinks, no matter what anyone says, you absolutely must stand up to whatever it is that YOU believe in." With this running through my head, I think to myself...what do I believe in? I know that giving is something that I completely believe in doing since it is so much more fulfilling than receiving. (At least it is to me.) I also believe in loyalty. Being in a position many times where I have felt the wrath of being stabbed in the back from someone who you may think is a true friend. I have had people say that no matter what they would always be there for me. Then I around and they are no where to be found. I am sure I have had my turn of not being as loyal as I should have been. Life experiences have taught me that loyalty is very important. Friendship is something that I completely believe in. Life would get pretty darn lonely without friends. And, it seems as though when you are at your lowest point, your true friends are the ones who are still by your side. They are the ones who are completely loyal and very giving. Freedom is of course another huge thing. There are so many things that I know I would fight for to the end. These mentioned are only a few of them.

One of the biggest things I believe in is love. The love I have for my children is like no other love I could have ever experienced. I always have said that with the love of my kids, I feel like I could take on the world. Being a mom does turn us women into a different being. Someone recently told me how much they respect mothers. They respect mothers because we gain these super powers that men will never gain. One is the power to multi task the other is the power to stand up to anyone. I have mastered the multi tasking LOL! Standing up to anyone....well, I am working on it. If they get in the way of my children, you better believe that I will open my mouth. However, when my feelings are hurt I find it difficult to tell the person how I feel. I am working on this in therapy. Feeling judged and criticised, it is not easy for me to express how sad I am to the people who are being so judgemental. I know in time things will be fine. So I guess all I need is time? I keep reminding myself that it is just words...just words...... And, once again that those being judgemental are only bringing on more judgement onto themselves.

The next thing I believe in completely is happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy and no one in this world can know what will fulfill another person. And, it is no one's business on why something makes someone happy. Like Jen reminded me today, "You always tell me that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." These are words I always say to her. Funny how sometimes we need to re-hear our own advice. She is right...well, I am right...LOL! It may hurt when you find out someone doesn't agree with your choices, or that they are discussing your personal life behind your back. The important thing to remember is that IT DOESN'T MATTER! So, my advice today: don't worry, be happy. And, do not allow other people's opinions to alter your decisions. They do not live your life....you do. And remember to stand up for what you believe in...no matter what. How is that for being strong? LOL!

What I am thankful for today:
my children
my friends
love
laughter
Feels Like Heaven (love that movie!)
faith
getting in 3 walks today!
the park and lunch today with Makenna, Jen and Tanner
Gavin enjoying his 1st day of school
strength
courage
happiness
loyalty
freedom
giving
selflessness
being a mommy
time with my kids
a beautiful day today
an appointment with the Healing Place tomorrow
my store
new customers
my enormous mums
the sunshine
hugs

Friday, August 28, 2009

Compliments and Simple Things

Let me start by saying Thank You to whoever posted the very nice comment under my last blog. It isn't often one hears compliments like that, even more so from a complete stranger. Again, I thank you. It is greatly appreciated.

Never have I taken compliments well. I am thinking it is because I had a hard time believing them. It also has to do with those people who are very self-centered and so confident in their appearance, their material items, their money and so on that they come off as being very snooty. Never did I want to emit those feelings to anyone. I feel very confident in myself in every aspect where once I did not. However, people tell me all the time that I send out positive vibes and not conceited ones. WHEW! I am thankful that I am surrounded by people who are just like me. I take a huge look at my friends and none of them expect compliments or praise. All of them find joy in the simple things in life and know that it is the small things that end up being the most meaningful and important in the long run.

I am thankful for these simple things in my life:
time with my children
time alone
time with my friends
laughter
love
nature; rainbows, sunsets, the ocean, the sand, flowers, etc.
creativity
imagination
inspiration
sleep
coffee
music
bare feet
smiles
hugs
motivation
my health
the health of my children
confidence
strength
painted toes
sea shells
the sunshine
the rain
Boston cream donuts
my pets
candles (PartyLite of course!)
the smell of Christmas
contentment
my free spirit
each new day
every new lesson learned
clean laundry right out of the dryer
"I love you's" (thanks Jamie for telling me every single day.)
a clean house and the productive feeling you get once you are done
gardening
scrapbooking
long walks
long talks
a working computer
pictures
funny movies
breeze on a hot summer day
kindness
thoughtfulness
selflessness
signs from above
dreams
goals
and the power to accomplish both

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Unwritten

I took this Facebook Quiz a while back called Which Song Defines Your Life. Now, normally I do not think these things are very accurate however, sometimes they are right on. Today, I decided to look up the lyrics to the song that came up for me. It is totally me.

All I want to say is that I find it very odd when people think they can live my life better than me. It would be nice if everyone kept their opinions to themselves since they are just opinions. I have seen members of my family and some of my friends over come some stressful situations and come out on top...despite what others thought. I believe in leaving the judgement up to God since he is the one who matters. Everything happens for a reason and not everyone has to like it or agree with it. My advice....hang around those who support you and the decisions you make. Those who have to put in their two sense are not worth your time. You are the only one who can live your life and make the decisions for it. Trust yourself and your angels to guide you in the right direction. We all need to learn life lessons and learn to be strong. I know how hard it is to not try to please everyone...I have been doing that my entire life. We all know that if you are not happy....you cannot make those around you happy. I know that I have no regrets from my past and that my future is going to be wonderful!

"Unwritten"

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

Today I am thankful for:
my friends
support
my strength and courage
life lessons
a day at the beach yesterday
knowing that words are just words and I can allow them to hurt me or go in one ear and out the other (one guess what my choice is..LOL!)
my children
the yellow rose in my garden
the butterfly that was fluttering around in my yard this morning
nature
beautiful signs from above
Makenna having a blast in the sand and the ocean. I love that she is fearless and outdoorsy like me.
Melinda, Marty, Josh and Alyssa (oh, and Toby!)
playing Wii Fit with Alyssa
singing Karaoke with Melinda's mom...so fun!
Diane
knowing that what one may look at as a mistake another will look at as a lesson

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Feathers, Rainbows and Clouds

Recalling the article I read 7 Ways Your Angels Communicate With You, I was thinking about the fact that I have only been communicated with through music. Then I thought, I was probably just blind to other means of communication. Clouds, rainbows and feathers are other signs. Although I admit that I never really looked at the clouds, feathers always made me think, "bird" and rainbows just meant to me an ending to a storm. After reading The Secret I know that once we get rid of our beliefs we learn the truth. This week has been a major confirmation to me that my angels are communicating to me through every way possible.

On Tuesday I was getting out of the shower when I saw this 'big fuzzy' floating in the air. I put my hand out and let it land in the palm of my hand. It ended up being a tiny white feather. When I say tiny, I mean like the size of a pencil eraser. It was not a bird feather nor was it from anything I had in my house. It hit me that here was my feather sign. I had just written in my Gratitude Book that I am thankful for the signs from my angels the night before.

Yesterday twice I saw a rainbow. One was on the floor and the other was on the wall. How could I have forgotten that rainbows do not just appear in the sky? Whether it be a prism, or a reflection, rainbows can appear anywhere. In my life now, rainbows are a sign meaning to me that I am where I need to be and that I am making the perfect decisions for my life.

On my way to therapy yesterday, something was telling me to look at the clouds. So, I glanced up to see a cloud right in front of me that was shaped like perfect heart. They say that things happen in threes. I got three signs that I never thought would happen to me. Maybe it is because I am so in tuned to music that I assumed that is how I would continue to see my signs. My therapist reminds me how lucky I am. I tell her that everyone could be just as lucky as me if they would open their mind to the possibilities that are out there. Everyone could have the same experiences as me if they believed. You also cannot be afraid of it. Too many people are too scared of the unknown while others cannot get rid of their beliefs to see what the truth actually is.

Almost daily I speak to my grandfather who has passed. I am not sure why, but he is the one I feel around me the most. We do have a lot in common with our love for the beach and our passion for writing. We also have a lot in common when it comes to the paths our lives had taken. I know that out of all people in my life, he would understand me the most. I know that he would not judge me or criticize me. Maybe this is why he continues to be near me. I am lucky, blessed, whatever word you may choose. Every day I have so many things to be thankful for and more and more continue to flow into my life as my journey continues.

What I am thankful for today:
therapy yesterday
my signs from my angels
Jamie who is moving back this fall!!! WHOO HOO!
Diane (thank you for watching the kids yesterday and allowing me to use your van)
Melinda
my mom
my dad
Jenny who I miss very much!
Shawn
Sally and her class tonight
Buffy
Jen
rainbows
flowers
The Secret
my children
my pets
creativity
laughter
long talks
love

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Waiting on an Angel

I heard this song for the first time the other day and it made me think back to darker days of my life. No, it doesn't make me think of the bad times. It is just the fact that there were so many songs that I listened to back then that either related to my life or were inspirations. This is one I would have listened to often if I were to have heard it back then. It is called Waiting on an Angel by Ben Harper:

Waiting on an angel
one to carry me home
hope you come to see me soon
cause I don't want to go alone
I don't want to go alone
Now angel won't you come by me
angel hear my plea
take my hand lift me up
so that I can fly with thee
so that I can fly with thee
And I'm waiting on an angel
and I know it won't be long
to find myself a resting place
in my angel's arms
in my angel's arms
So speak kind to a stranger
cause you'll never know
it just might be an angel come
knockin' at your door
knockin' at your door
And I'm waiting on an angel
and I know it won't be long
to find myself a resting place
in my angel's arms
in my angel's arms
Waiting on an angel
one to carry me home
hope you come to see me soon
cause I don't want to go alone
I don't want to go alone
don't want to go
I don't want to go alone

Now with my angels making their presence known, I know that I am not alone. They are carrying me through life. I have made an analogy for myself which I have blogged about before. I think of myself as a butterfly. Where once I felt insecure, scared and ugly, I have changed to feeling secure with myself, courageous, and beautiful. Every day I am learning more and more of who I am and who I want to be. I am finally content with the person I have become. Thanks to life lessons and those who have followed me throughout my life, even those who have come and gone.....I have developed a sense of self worth and hope for my future. I pray that everyone knows that they deserve the best life possible and that they do not settle for anything less than the best for themselves. This is in no way being selfish. We have to be fulfilled within in order to shine and make anyone else happy.

Be open to the signs your angels show you and know that you are never alone throughout life's journey. And, be positive and have faith that your life is going to unfold just as you want it to.

Click on the title of this blog to see the video on Youtube.com.

What I am thankful for today:
music
my angels
my friends
the power to love myself
laughter
funny movies
long talks
the power of prayer
The Healing Place (another great session yesterday!)
Jim Carey
new customers
quality time alone today
my children
the movie The Wedding Date (watched it twice today)
the sunshine
rainbows
butterflies
flowers
creativity
inspiration
love

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Things to Be Thankful For

I woke up today with a smile on my face. Being that I am not a morning person, this is very rare! LOL! However, I had a great day yesterday with the kids and last night with Diane. I also know that I have so many things to be thankful for. Makenna and I cut sunflowers out of the front yard yesterday and made a nice arrangement in a vase for the dining room table. She loves to help me garden. I am so thankful that she is interested in one of my passions. I want her to be well rounded and appreciate the little things in life. Also yesterday I got a beautiful card from Jen. It is wonderful to read words of inspiration and friendship that are written for you. I am thankful that she is in my life and able to express her feelings about our friendship. Jamie and I had a few heart to heart talks yesterday which only make me realize more and more that she is my best friend. Not everyone experiences the true bond of a soul-mate. Jamie and I know that we are meant to be in each others lives and that we are soul-mates. No matter what, we are always there for each other and make it a point to tell each other that....sometimes without words. I am so thankful for Jamie.

Diane and I went grocery shopping last night and took Makenna. I am so thankful that I can take Makenna anywhere. She was awesome. In fact she had Diane laughing and telling me that she will take her shopping any time. We were at Giant for well over two hours and Makenna was an angel. Last night when I was laying with her she kept telling me that she loved me. I am so thankful that my children are affectionate and expressive about their feelings. I am also thankful for being able to spend time with Diane. Mostly, I am thankful that she is not only my neighbor but also one of my best friends. I appreciate her more than she knows.

While being outside yesterday Bonnie my neighbor, walked up to me and said she had something for me. She gave me the biggest hug and started crying. She thanked me for being an inspiration to her and for listening to her and motivating her. I had no idea that I did this for her. Over the past year she has been going through a very difficult time. We would sit outside and talk, I would listen mostly while she talked to me about her 'not so great' childhood. I felt sad for her. I am so thankful that she got so much out of me and considers me an inspiration to her.

Shawn called me yesterday to tell me that he is so thankful for me and my positive energy. He blames me for his positive life changes which have been escalating in the past few weeks. Now enjoying all the things he once loved but could not get into, he is back on the right track and all things good are flowing into his life. He says I am his sunshine...LOL! This makes me laugh since Nancy from the salon calls me Suzie Sunshine. People call me just to hear my voice, and make a point to tell me that. Buffy once said that it is my laughter that she totally enjoys. Jen says it is my loyalty and support. Bonnie says it is the fact that I listen. There are so many things people tell me about myself that I never would have even taken notice too. This is just who I am now and it seems to benefit me and all those around me.

I am not sure what it was about yesterday but people were just thanking me and complimenting me and my positive energy. Could it be me showing gratitude every chance I get? Absolutely. Now that I am fulfilled within, I am able to give more than I ever could have in the past. People are feeding off my positive energy all the time. I am able to be an inspiration to those around me because I feel blessed and happy on the inside. A year ago, I did not feel that way. My heart, mind, body and spirit are healing each and every day. I only hope and pray that everyone can one day can feel the spiritual healing, confidence, and gratitude that I do. Everyone deserves a good life, but a lot of people do not feel deserving of one. I pray for those around me every night before bed. May God relieve the stress and anxiety of those around me. May God heal those who are in pain. May God lead everyone down the positive path of life. My God grant health and happiness to all who are in my life. May God give those who feel weak the confidence they need to be strong. May God help aid those who feel empty inside and fill them with the love for themselves that they are lacking. May everyone around me realize that it is the simple things in life that are much larger than anything that money can buy.

What I am thankful for today:
my amazing day yesterday
the gratitude and appreciate people are showing me
my ability to give so much to others now that I am fulfilled within
my children
my arrangement of sunflowers
the card from Jen
time with my friends and my children
Makenna helping me clean yesterday
my class tonight
being an inspiration to others
hugs
tears of happiness and appreciation
my mom getting Gavin stuff for school
self healing
the simple things in life
time to paint mine and Makenna's nails yesterday
God
the power of prayer
my positive attitude
laughter
love

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Melinda and the Scrapping the Music Song for This Week

My intention was to blog about my day yesterday with Melinda and the kids but I am only going to touch a little about it. Yesterday was awesome. I look up to Melinda and her husband so much. I admire everything about them. Not only are they very successful business people but they have an amazing relationship. With their strong faith in God, the way they raise their children, the amazing way they communicate with each other, the trust they have in one another, and the fact that they are truly best friends.....only makes me want what they have. Out of every couple I know, I admire them the most. They honestly treat each other as an equal.

Alyssa and I played Wii Fit and had a blast! Josh and Alyssa have turned out to be such wonderful children. They are fun, helpful, considerate and very well rounded. I love that they are so willing to try just about anything and have SO much motivation. They are so much like their parents. The entire family is so giving and so grateful. I am so thankful and blessed to have them as a part of my and my kids life.

Anyway, my blog is about this awesome new song that is the Scrapping the Music Challenge. It was brought to my attention when one of the team members left a comment under my last blog. She said that because of my life, I will be able to relate to this song tremendously. It makes me feel really good to know that I can be an inspiration to people I have never even met just from them reading my blog. I read the lyrics and she was right on.

More Beautiful You
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl


WOW. I was always one as a teen to feel fat, not good enough, and so on. As a young adult I always wanted someone to love me because I really didn't love myself. I can TOTALLY relate to this song. I now know that no matter how much someone loves you, if you do not love yourself your relationship will never work. Finally after 36 years, I do love myself. No it is not in a conceited way. I love that I am able to give more, love more, laugh more and still feel fulfilled inside. My friends stick around because of my positive energy and willingness to give. They stay by my side because I am a selfless person who loves to love and constantly shows gratitude. Because they are like me, I chose to stay by their side as well. It is a give-give situation. I do not call my friends only when I feel I need them. At this point in my life I do not feel in need of anything. It is nice to be able to want something and not feel that you NEED it. It is nice to not have attachments to things or people but instead admire them. I WANT my friends in my life and I know they know that. I am very blessed to have so many wonderful, inspiring people to be surrounded by. My children are blessed as well to be surrounded by many people who love them. If they see Mommy showing gratitude and feeling love within, they will learn to love themselves and be thankful as well.

What I am thankful for today:
A wonderful weekend with Jamie
time with Melinda and the kids yesterday
Melinda and Marty
the ability to love myself
my children and their health and happiness
Judy's card class tonight
my courage
the ability to want and not need
having a Queen sized bed all to myself
feeling content
the love I feel from my children and my friends
appreciation
Diane and Rudy (another couple I admire greatly)
being able to spend so much time with my children
self healing
the ability to live my life the best way I know how
knowing that time heals and that everything happens for a reason
the peacefullness I feel within that grows every day
my health
the safety of my children and myself
Realizing that God made me perfect in his eyes and people will love me just the way I am.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

An Awesome Therapy Session

Yesterday I had therapy. It was a very good session for one very good reason.... my therapist is very happy with my progress. Every time I see her she says she sees more positive changes. Yesterday I made sure to tell her about my self healing. I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. In the last few weeks I have been taking the time to go over my past, my choices, my patterns, etc. Once again I will say that I feel that there are no mistakes and I have no regrets about the choices I have made. I would not be where I am today if I didn't choose the paths I had.

I now truly believe that we are able to heal ourselves; spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. I have always looked for someone to fix me. Whether it be a doctor, a therapist, a friend, a lover. I never knew that we could heal on our own. No pill or relationship will fix me. All it does is mask the issues. Now I am willing to do what it takes to heal on my own. In the last few months I have come a very long way. Where once I would run from confrontation, I now face it. I have completely changed the way I communicate. This is a big step for me. I also have stopped allowing people's words to scare and/or hurt me. I keep telling myself that there are always going to be things I do not want to hear. But it is just words and I keep telling myself that. When people are voicing their opinions, I do not have to allow it to stress me out. Just because they have different views on things doesn't mean I have to agree with them or take it personally. This has made me so much stronger. Where once there was panic attacks, is now a peacefulness. Little did I know that anxiety is instilled in us as we are growing up. Whether it be a parent or another mentor, the way they handle stress is the way we think we should as adults. I want my children to be more laid back, less stressed about the little things, and not worry like I always did.

My therapist is the most un-opinionated therapist that I was ever to. I love that she listens, points things out, and understands. I feel a great connection with her because she is allowing me to find out who I am without making me feel I should be a certain way. I love that she wants me to continue to be ME. She is always addressing the positivity in my life, how far I have come, and how I continue to heal myself every day. She is not there to tell me if I am wrong or right. She agrees that we all make the right decision for ourselves and we should not allow outside influences to alter our choices.

I left feeling even more peaceful and more confident. I love who I am, whether or not everyone else does....I really do not care. This Amy Grant song sums it up for me:

All I Ever Have To Be
When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.

But I'm still hurting,
Wondering if Ill ever be
The one I think I am.

I think I am.

Then you gently re-remind me
That you've made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.

And I realize the good in me,
Is only there because of who you are.

Who you are...

And all I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.

As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.

And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.

What I am thankful for today:
therapy
Amy Grant
my children
jumping on the trampoline last night with the kids
the power heal ourselves
the power to believe
faith
courage
Melinda
sleeping until 9am this morning with Makenna
people who are so willing to help others without expecting anything in return
a wonderful night's sleep last night
being down 17 lbs!!
garlic bread
a beautiful day today
laughter
smiles