Monday, October 19, 2009

An Unexpected Email

I recevied this email from a very old friend of mine today and wanted to share it.

Reading through this I thought about you and the strength you have to conquer all. I know that times have been rough, but you truly are an inspiration to many (including your family) for setting goals and pushing forward until achieving each and every one. I am glad to hear that things are going well for you. Hopefully the shop is staying busy. Talk to you soon.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful.
But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning that other colour, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).



Sometimes I wallow in self pity. But it isn't long before I realize that it gets me no where. Everyday I write or say at least 50 things that I am thankful for. There is so much in my life right now that I could be ungrateful about, however I do not allow my focus to go there. Besides I am surrounded by people who support me and love me for who I am. Those who feel they know how I should live my life I have distanced myself from. So, I am in a good place. My children are happy and well taken care of and I am feeling better than I have in a long time. Everything works out if I stay positive. Although my vehicle is being used by Jeremy at this time, because of my friends and my cousins, I always have a way to get where I need too. Although I do not have a printer, my neighbor and Jeremy always make sure to print out what I need for the store. My neighbor and my friend Jen offer to watch my kids if I need someone (which is not often at all.) These are just examples of the ways people are helping me. I am so fortunate that I have the friends I have and the support from Jeremy despite our situation. I can stay focused on my store and I have been inspired to be more creative while I am there. Yes things at the store were slow. And, I believe being surrounded by negative people made it more diffcult for the positive to flow through me and through my store. New customers are in every weekend and so many people are putting my store on their facebook, passing around flyers for me, displaying my business cards and so on. I am very blessed and so thankful for each and every person who helps me, supports me, and makes my life easier. Funny thing is that I do not have to ask people, they offer. It is amazing what keeping a positive attitude can do. Of course I return the favors, what are friends for?

What I am thankful for today:
my friends, old and new
people telling me that I inspire them
new customers
my strength
positive attitudes
those who love and support me the way I am and do not try to change me or the way I live my life.
my children
Chloe aka Monkey and how affectionate she has been towards me lately.
new classes
Makenna's school pictures which are BEAUTIFUL!
the pumpkin patch tomorrow with Makenna and Gavin
Randy and Diane for allowing me to use their vehicles
everyone who helps me with my business
each and every new day
my health
each moment spent with the ones I love