Saturday, April 16, 2011

Emotional Rollercoaster

This week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I know God only gives us what we can handle and all I can say to that is, he has a lot more faith in me than I do. Today I cried and actually didn't want to get out of bed. I feel like I am hanging on by a thread and all I want to do is let go. But, I can't let go nor would I. Trying to cope with the stresses of a majorly depressed 11 year old son is so trying. All I want to do is make it better and I can't, especially when I am starting to fall apart.

Checking facebook today my sister-in-law posted a quote that I really needed to see. Here is what she wrote: "Life`s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you. They are supposed to help you discover who you are." -Bernice Johnson-Reagon

Maybe I will discover that I am stronger than I thought. I already know that this experience has taught me the patience and the understanding that Shawn has with me and my situation. Instead of being angry because of the lack of time we get to spend together, he is empathetic to my situation. And my friends are the best friends anyone could ever ask for. My family feels my pain and tries so hard to help where they can. I am so blessed. 

Now to just keep my head up and keep praying. I pray for Gavin that he starts to heal. I pray that all of those affected by his emotions have the patience we need to get through all of this. I pray for only positive people to surround me and my family. I pray for sleep and for energy. May my health stay strong and my spirit feel enlightened again. 

What I am thankful for today:
my health
my friends
my family
my pets
Makenna's successful party today
a great store meeting this morning
the block option on facebook
my store
my pets
The Center
the rain
awesome neighbors
seeing a light at the end of the tunnel...hopefully soon