Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Warning....negative alert, into positive ending.

I really do not want to be negative after such a positive day but if I do not express my feelings, I will not be able to get back into the positive as quickly. All my life I have had at least one person who either tried to be like me or really thought they were. While some may look at this as a "Wow, she really likes who I am and wants to be like me" situation, I find it rather annoying. I look at is as, "Seriously? Get your own life." I want to be me, different than everyone else. Why would I want to constantly try to be what I am not? Or who I am not? Maybe there is a lesson for me to learn through all of this, not sure what it would be. Maybe it is the fact that my word for the year is patience and I have yet to master it fully? I get extremely annoyed when I see someone do something soon after I do. Like the idea would have NEVER entered their head until they saw me do it. So, how can I think of this in a positive manner.....

People like that are in a serious need of a reality check. It seems as though their self-esteem is still not where they say it is. I do not care how positive someone may come off on a posting, an email, a text or a blog. If they continue to follow someone else, they still are deeply insecure. So, as I say, "Get over it!" I mean that not only for the insecure SWF that continues to act as I do, but for myself. I will get over it and hopefully someday (sooner than later), she will too. If a person like that wants to act like me and do as I do then they really should start being strong enough to live their own life. God knows the only person I follow is Him. I pray that He will help me to move on from this and be able to say, "Wow, that person really likes who I am" and be happy that they do everything I do. LOL! Right now I do not like it one bit. I am proof that even the most positive people can be unhappy about situations at times. I may not be dealing with this well now but tomorrow is another day.

On a positive note, my day today was incredible. I ran with Diego for 3 miles then kayaked with my baby for 2 1/2 down Lake Nocamixon. The weather was amazing. For those who may not know, a year ago I dealt with a huge fear of being in water that I could not see the bottom of. Because of Shawn, his confidence in me and his patience with me, I have fully overcome that fear. I am so glad Shawn ended up having the day off. He was so excited to be able to see me in the daylight today. It is as funny as it sounds but we never see each other when the sun is up.

We are going to start running together on the new trail. He has been admiring the physical shape I am in and has asked me to help him get in better shape too. He was so sweet in saying that I inspire him to be a better person. He feeds off my motivation (instead of sucking it dry like some people). We both feel that we are each others equal. This is the first time I have ever felt that with any man. I feel it with my friends though. Never do I allow anyone to make me feel less than they are or less than I feel about myself. I thank God every day for my confidence and the power to be me and different than everyone else. So thankful I have found a network of friends, co-workers, and my man, who all love me just the way I am. We are all growing, learning life's lessons. Find what makes you happy and go with it. When something ticks you off, get over it! Sing that song, "La La La whatever...La La La doesn't mater". Be yourself.

What I am thankful for today:
the power to change your mood
my friends and family
the amazing hugs, kisses and I love you's that I received today from my niece and nephew
the beautiful day today!
quality time with Shawn
capitalization (especially the letter I) LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
the views today on the water
Sleeping Beauty on Thurs. with Makenna and Jaymen
Kempton Fair this weekend...GOOD LUCK DAD!
having the family over for dinner on Father's Day
blooming flowers
the rain
my kids
Diane (thank you for allowing me to use your computer!)
random acts of kindness
my jobs
true love
the amazing rainbow that Shawn called to tell me about tonight. He knows me well!