Sunday, March 27, 2011

Ramblings for the Day

Yesterday at the Gem,  Mineral and Jewelry show Chuck from Lost River Caverns asked me how I was. Knowing the twists and turns that has taken in the last month, I really didn't know at first how to answer. So I said, "I am good, no sense complaining." He answered with, "Someone always has it worse." He is totally right.

God wants us to go through these obstacles to learn things. And, I have come to realize that we always end up better in the end. I am blessed to have such wonderful friends and family who make sure I know that I am not alone. My mom reminded me of a passage that was actually in The Secret; "We are always exactly where we are supposed to be at every moment." Although the moment may make us feel bad, it will end. I try telling my son that. But, he has not acquired that positivity yet. Hopefully it will not take him long to learn the power of positive thoughts. His counselor mentioned to him that a lot of people get crabby on rainy days. Then she asked him what good the rain does for us. When he answered, "It makes the grass grow, the flowers grow and gives us water" she said, "If everyone would focus on the good of the rain, their day would not be so bad." To me, a rainy day makes us appreciate the sunshine even more. I try to focus on the good of every situation but sometimes when there is so much going on that is negative it is hard. My friends try help turn my thoughts around and point out the good. And, they are so good at it.

Things at the gym are looking up, my store is still going strong. Working and spending time with a bunch of Christian women is very uplifting. I absolutely love 'my happy place'. Now all I have to wrap my head around is the issues with Gavin. I am very thankful that I am able to relate to him and what he is going through. Although going through the experience was tough, because of it I can be more patient and understanding as he goes through this. I feel his pain and sadness. It is something he has to learn from. I know in my heart that he will get through this and be a stronger child.

What I am thankful for today:
the sunshine
the power of positive thoughts
The Secret
my mom
my friends
Cassie (who is going home today. I will miss her.)
The Gem Show
the new cross pendant I bought.
my pets
The Healing Place
blooming flowers
a busy day today at the store
Marker Club....YAY!
my teachers
my customers
hot showers
good food last night at Red Robin
quality time with my family
Bryce and Clara
a clean house
compliments (thank you Heather)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Good News with a Side of Confidence

Today I found out that Gavin is going to the number one child counselor in the Lehigh Valley. And, Craig's insurance will cover the cost of 60 visits with a $20 copay. It made me feel really good that he is willing to get Gavin the help he needs. This counselor was recommended by a friend of my moms who has grandchildren that have benefited from this counselor, greatly. I am so thankful that my mom passed the referral. With a Healing Place appointment on Thursday and this new counselor, I know Gavin will be on his way to a better life.

I was actually inspired by my mom to write today. Little does she know it but her compliment overwhelmed me with happiness and peacefulness. My mom and Aunt took my kids and my niece and nephew to Chuck E Cheese on Saturday while I was at work. I love that my family is so willing to spend so much quality time with my children. I think my Aunt and my mom look forward to Chuck E Cheese just as much as the kids. LOL! After spending the day with the kids my my sent me a facebook message. She wrote that she is very proud of me and how I am raising my children. She said that they are both such wonderful and well behaved kids. It made me feel really good. My mom has been so gracious lately in telling me how proud she is of me. She constantly says she loves me now and offers to take my children more because of how much I am working. It feels nice not to have to ask someone to watch my kids. It feels nice to have your mom tell you how she feels even at 36 years old. I tell my kids all the time that I love them. My mom was not one to voice it all that much when we were kids.

I believe that if you tell your children that you are proud of them, at any age, it gives them a sense of self confidence. I can say I have more confidence now than I did as a child or teenager. I can clearly see that my kids are confident, especially Makenna. My kids are my world. If I can be confident about myself and work hard for what I want, it will be instilled in my children. My father was a work-aholic. And, his work ethic was definitely instilled in me. Meaning, that no matter how much you are making at a job, you work your hardest and do your best at it. Poor Heather isn't lucky enough to have found a staff that has much of a work ethic anymore. Everyone has lots of expectations and feel that they are 'above' their job at the gym. So, if they do not feel they are getting paid what they are worth, they will not fully do their job. Heather and I were raised the same way. If she did not have Zachary, we both agree that she would live at the gym. It may not be the healthiest way to work until you are ready to collapse, but we both agree that we work for every cent of our income. If only others were the same way our jobs would be a lot easier.

Today, I am proud of who I am. I am proud of the mother I have become and I am proud of the hard worker that I am. I feel good about myself. If my mom can see all the good that I am instilling in my children, than I must be doing something right. If my boss/best friend can rely on me to do jobs that most men would not do, than I will pat myself on the back. Confidence is not something you are born with, it is something you acquire. Thank you to all of my friends, family, and my children for showing me that I am a strong confident woman who is on the way to becoming a very successful person in every aspect of her life.

What I am thankful for today:
Chinese food
Brent who constantly makes me laugh
time to sit down and blog
the store looking really good, thanks Erika
flavored creamer
a long walk today with the pups
my friends
my kitties
the Center with Christine on Thursday night
Zumba and therapy on Wednesday with Jennifer
Shawn's new line of 'green' jewelry
the April 2nd Crop
Being in charge of the small group orientations at The Center
getting more hours at the gym (bigger pay checks!)
budding flowers
Makenna's upcoming 5th birthday!!
having the best neighbors in the world
my PartyLite catalog show this month
Rachel who makes me laugh until my stomach hurts
feeling complete and content with my life

Friday, March 18, 2011

Change Although Difficult is a Good Thing in the End

Know one knows why things happen. Know one really knows what a person may be going through in their personal life. Know one knows what it feels like to be someone else. What we do know is that there are so many emotions that come with any change in our lives and the lives of those we love. How we deal with it is what matters.

There is so much negativity at the gym right now that you can feel it when you walk in the doors. Our 'sunshine' is no longer with us and we have yet to find a replacement. Members are asking questions, Heather is extremely stressed out and things are very different. People used to think I was crazy that I actually enjoyed going to the gym to clean and watch children. But the reason I loved it was because of the people. Hopefully this transition will be over soon and the 'sun' will shine once again. For now, we have to make the best of it.

Gavin is my biggest concern right now. These stomach aches which are now only happening when he has school have me thinking back to a darker time in my own life when I felt the same way. Thankfully there are so many more options for him and Craig and I, that we are bound to find something to help him cope with his emotions...eventually. Linda from The Healing Place is going to work with him to see if there is anything she can do. Craig is also very busy looking into therapy for him and Gavin.

I am so thankful that Craig is willing to help me and willing to do whatever it takes for the benefit of our son. I see parents all the time thinking that things will get better on their own and they end up getting worse as time goes on. I see this in adults too. There are so many who continue to walk the same path waiting for something to change but it has to come from within. You have to search your heart and ask God to lead you to where you should be. It is then that the answers will come. Search, ask, communicate with others. Take a risk or even a 'leap of faith'. Nicole at the shelter reminded me of a fortune cookie that I once received that said "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten." To me it means if you are unhappy, stop complaining about it and change the situation. If you continue to live life the way you have, nothing will change. Life will be a HUGE circle of events which may be different but you will end up feeling the same way. Step out of your life and take a look inside. Do you see a pattern?

I pray for Brad and I pray for Gavin every single day. I want Brad to find what his heart desires in hopes that it leads him back to the people who care about him most. I pray that he gets the help he needs so that his pattern in life does not continue. I want him to be truly happy. I pray that Gavin learns the skills that he lacks to cope with stress and anxiety. I pray he finds peace within. I want him to be a kid....a happy kid. One that finds joy in the little things in life as his sister does. I pray that God gives Craig and I the education and the patience that we lack to cope with Gavin during this time.

I have seen many people change their ways for the better, me included. Shawn has never been so positive and motivated like he is now. I am so thankful for his sister and the relationship we have created over the past two years. Although she continues to thank me for Shawn's complete turn around, I know that Shawn had to find himself again on his own. My prayers have been answered.

What I am thankful for today:
God as my rock
my friends who continue to support me and love me for who I am
my family
my children
my pets
The Center
Linda and her gift of healing
the power of prayer
time to myself (which is extremely rare but well appreciated!)
the power to change into someone better than who I was
the energy to exercise
Shawn who continues to amaze me every single day
strength and courage to try new things and take 'leaps of faith'
the power of a positive mind
Dwayne for always smiling and making me realize that life is good
therapy (which some people do not admit they need but I wish they would LOL!)
the sunshine
flowers starting to bud!! WHAA HOO!
my mom for expressing her love for me and how proud she is of who I have become.
my dad for teaching me my work ethic and my love for helping others.
dinner with Linda and Bob on Sunday
time with my niece and nephew
Clara telling me every time she sees me that she loves me.
running, which I have actually grown to love
PartyLite candles
my health
the health of my loved ones
my store
my teachers
my customers
the simple things in life

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


A couple of months ago I met a new trainer at the gym named Dwayne. He started bringing his children into childcare so that he could fulfill appointments with members. We got to talking and he so graciously offered to work out with me since I am not at a point in my life where I can afford to have him be my personal trainer. Although we have only had one round of working out together, I highly look forward to working out with him again. Ya know how you just click with a person? Well, something about Dwayne clicked with me. He is full of energy, full of positivity, full of life. Even on a day where he may not feel so wonderful, he is still smiling. I could not stop feeling that God made us cross paths with each other for a reason.

One day Dwayne just handed me his business card with a blog address on the back. It took me a few weeks to actually take the time to look it up. Today I took the time. My mouth dropped. Not only does he write amazing poetry but he looks at life the way I am trying to. I cannot get over his positive attitude and outlook on life. He is a wonderful person for someone like me to be around. When I have my down moments, I now feel like I can still smile without it being fake or a struggle. Dwayne doesn't know yet that I read his poems. I will be seeing him on Thursday. I cannot wait to tell him that he is an inspiration to me. God does bless us with the people we need to live our lives to the fullest potential.
Here is one of Dwayne's poems:

""Starving your opposition"

Do not bury your head in the sand

Missing the mystic sunset
Where the ocean and sky mate
Producing the  beauty of night fall
Let go of that load keeping you down
Rise as mist from the dew
Laying your head on the winds
Evaporate into your new beginning
Retract the cautious zipper restraining your lips
You are an expression of all that was, is, and will be
Bite your tongue no more
Accept yourself and express you unique image 

Shake free from the dust on your shoulders
Dressing your wounded dreams
Purpose brings many battles to your feet
Stand ready with your sword of confidence and shield of wisdom
Wipe dry your tired eyes
Visualize the path of your life
See my faith in your character
Open up to all you must face
When standing at that fork in the road
Be not afraid of your decision
Knife through your path 

Catering to all that hunger for your enlightened meal
Break bread with many
Wait on those who are slow to reach the starting line
Strive to eat well
While continuously starving your opposition

What I am thankful for today:
God blessing me with positive people
my jobs
my friends
my family
a great dinner tonight
Heather M trying to make me acknowledge the good in myself when I may not see it.
my kids laughter
Chloe and Diego actually sitting on my lap together (and not fighting!)
Rachel celebrating her 40th birthday today!!
my Jamiers
Erika for being the best business partner ever
Zumba and Therapy Wednesdays with Jennifer
The Biggest Loser
life lessons
new bath towels
the sunshine
longer hours of daylight!
Brent and Brad (one day I will pee myself laughing because of them)
clean laundry
all the birthday celebrations in my family this month
my teachers
my customers
my health
the health of my loved ones
everlasting love

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Chances Are - Scrapping the Music Challenge

I had this picture that I knew was going to have to be scrapped. The picture is of Squeaky (the white cat) and Alice (in the frame), two of my favorite cats at The Center for Animal Health and Welfare. One day looking at my Home page of Facebook I noticed that The Center posted that Alice was adopted. Although I wish my first reaction would have been excitement that one of my favorite kitties finally had a home, I started to cry. I realized that I probably would never see her again and it made me very sad. Volunteering there as much as my kids and I do does make it hard not to get attached to certain animals. My 4 year old surprises people by knowing a lot of shelter cats by name. There are over 400 cats housed at that shelter.

Alice and I grew fond of each other the very first day we met. She was brought in with 5 other cats that looked just like her. They were rescued out of a hoarders home. Alice was not expected to live given the condition she was in when they found her. Most of her siblings did pass away. Alice is a little fighter. She reminds me of my Chloe which I have at home. This could be another reason I bonded with her. Squeaky is 18 years old. He seemed to bond with Alice when she came in. The two of them would be seen laying next to each other pretty often. It was as if they were waiting for me to come in.

When Alice was adopted, I went to the shelter telling myself that I had to be happy for Alice but still felt an emptiness when I arrived. My friend Christine, another volunteer at the shelter,. was so kind to leave this framed picture of Alice for me at the desk. Well of course I lost it. After composing myself and going in to the room where Squeaky was, I set this picture on the floor so that I could take some pictures. Squeaky walked right over to it and laid down to stare at the picture. I could not believe my eyes. Even Wendy the Vice President of the shelter took some pictures of the scene.

Now, Alice finds herself back at the shelter and Squeaky has been adopted. I was so happy to know that Squeaky and his sister Snowball (she was 20), will live out their senior years in a home together. As for Alice, her and I had a chat that she needs to stop doing this to me. This was her second time being adopted then brought back. Unfortunately some people do not give the animals much time to adjust to their new homes. Alice needs more than a few days to adjust. For now, I enjoy going in to see my Alice. And, she always welcomes me with her fluffy fur and her one little fang.

Because this song had the line, 'Chances are we'll find two destinations' I thought because Alice and Squeaky will not end up together, I thought it was perfect.

Here is what was used:
Close to My Heart Wings Paper Pack
Close to My Heart Wings StickEase
Stampin Up! Scalloped Punch (flowers)
Stampin Up! Champagne Glitter Paint
Cricut Machine and Cartridge Accent Essentials

Friday, March 4, 2011

A Great Way To Lose Weight....LOL!

Most of you know I have been stuck in my house with sick kids and being under the weather myself. Well after 4 days of it I was losing my mind. So, why not lose weight?

I got to work yesterday, and was actually looking forward to it. I had two children in childcare, Braughnna and Logan. Brent comes in and flies open the door singing, "GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING! I brought breakfast!" Laughing, I of course asked what he brought. He brought in these HUGE bagels that were made at a Bagel place in the Westgate Mall. When the children left, I made myself a bagel noticing that they resembled breasts...LOL! So, calling to Brent I held them up to my chest and he, Nick and Heather started cracking up. Everyone could tell I was back to my old self.

After 3 hours of cleaning I decided to run on the treadmill. What made me laugh was what I was picturing in my head. I was recalling my week of children arguing over the TV, being crabby, sick, tired and I found myself running faster. It was as if I was running away from the crappy week with them. The more I thought about it the more energy I had. I was able to run for 25 minutes without thinking for one second, "this is killing me." So, I turned a crappy week into a great workout. And I totally felt 100% better. Today, I reflect on my good day yesterday since I am once again home with sick children. Gavin is recovering but Makenna has yet another fever. And me, well my rear end HURTS but it is just a reminder of how easy it was for me to run and run and run yesterday. I got on the scale yesterday and I lost another pound and a half and am now 131!! YAY! So what I am thankful for today.....

losing weight
the ability to run
my pets
The Center for Animal Health and Welfare
my friends
my family
my health
the health of my loved ones
PartyLite shows and products
hot showers
time to myself
adult time at Jennifer's
clean laundry
a nice walk with Diego today
upcoming classes at the store
scrapbook challenges
spring on the way