Friday, June 3, 2011

The Butterfly & Doing what makes YOU happy!

Today I had my first conversation with a life coach. Let me tell you.....I LOVED HER! She is from Bethlehem and was by far the most free spirited, positive person I have ever met in my life. Thankfully she so willingly gave me the contact info to get me started on my path. There are two things that she taught me today that I wanted to share on my blog. Honestly it was as if God was speaking to me through her. The first thing is..... she touched on one of the hardest parts of being a life coach. Because we love people and want them to succeed, it will be tough for us to not get in the way with our own opinions because of our own life experiences. We will want to help so much when we need to learn when to step back. Watching is the hardest part but sometimes we know it is the right thing to do in order for the other person to learn their lesson. Here is the story she shared with me.

A man saw a cocoon and noticed that it was moving. He knew that it would only be a matter of time before the butterfly was going to be completely developed. Every day he walked past this cocoon and felt badly for the struggle this butterfly was enduring. He wanted to help it so badly. After a few days he noticed that the butterfly was flapping its wings so hard and so fast with one little piece of cocoon stuck to one of it's wings. He could not stand watching this poor creature struggle so much. He decided to pull off the last piece of cocoon and stood there watching as this butterfly was wobbling around trying to walk and fly. But, the butterfly could not fly. The way that butterflies build up their muscles is to manage to get themselves out of their cocoon. Because the man interfered, the butterflies wings did not fully build up their strength in order for it to fly.

Wow, that makes so much sense. And, it made me feel better when I think of dealing with my children. Although we hate to see them suffering, sometimes we have to step back and allow the struggle so that they learn their life lesson. If we keep interfering, the person will continue to have the same issues because we have always stepped in and took care of things.

The second one was the confidence to make decisions based on what makes us happy without worrying about the judgment of others. Some may think it is selfish. The life coach said that we have to be happy in order to make others happy. We cannot waste our energy and time worrying about what anyone else thinks. In my situation right now with Gavin, it is very hard to do that. While I think I am doing something right, others may not. The question is "Why should I care?" We allow others to inflict guilt inside of us, doubts, and second thoughts. If in our hearts we know we are not doing anything wrong, then there shouldn't be a problem. However, others would disagree. There is such thing as compromise. Unfortunately my 11 year old has not grasped that concept yet. So I am stuck making decisions based on what someone else thinks and wants and not with what makes me truly happy. To make myself feel better about this I just keep telling myself that this phase of his will be over soon. There is a lesson for us to learn in this situation and it has to run it's course. I have however, come a long long way to not caring what others think. I do not need approval from others like I used to. In the last few years I have grown to love myself. Where as when I was younger I needed to be loved and constantly reminded that I had approval from others. When I didn't get that I would be depressed and miserable.

Not sure when I will have the time to do the research to pursue this new goal but I am thankful that I have what I need to start. I have done lots of new things for my 'thing for a day' lately. It feels good to try new things. I am so grateful that this life coach gave me this wonderful advice today. It is something I will pass on to others that may have issues with control and confidence.

What I am thankful for today:
my new venture
my friends
Jennifer coming home
the vendor fair at the school tomorrow
my kids
Makennas verbage
The Center last night with Christine
lots of new awesome products at the store!!
spending time with Zachary today
a nice long walk with Heather yesterday
the boutique
Kempton Fair
time with Erika today
Diane sharing her cucumbers...hee hee hee!
Robin and her powerful positive energy
knowing that I accept myself for who I am, whether I get approval from others or not
signs from Edna, Nana and Aunt Aida this past week
HIS Blog
my wonderful inspiring friends and family
Heather R. (thank you for our long phone conversation the other day!!)
Ribbon Club!
new Stampin Up! stuff
3 kids camps at the store this summer
my new job on Monday
running a 6.44 minute mile on Wednesday
the sunshine
Crafting for Paws being in the works!
fresh fruit
Erika's pool ( :
being the only independent scrapbooking store in the Lehigh Valley
life coaching!
my home