Wednesday, April 27, 2011

So Much to Write About

Today did not start off well. Gavin had a melt down in the school lobby and I was almost late getting Makenna to Jaymen's house. When Jennifer G and I arrived at Zumba it was only a matter of 10 minutes before I had an anxiety attack. My face turned bright red, I could not get my legs to work, I felt sick to my stomach and I just wanted to sit down.....kind of how Gavin feels every single morning. So, I turned my thoughts to focusing on the Zumba and ended up having a really good time. When it was over, my energy was completely depleted. A trip to The Healing Place is well needed. I realize that I am not staying balanced through this situation with Gavin. This was the second anxiety attack I had this week.

I went with Gavin this time to the therapist and twice received a sign from my grandmother. One was on the way there. It made me feel good to know that she was with me. The appointment went fine. I just do not know what will help Gavin or what will ease him. And, he really isn't motivated to try anything. I am going ahead with my idea of creating for him an mini album that he can have at school. The therapist thought him having pictures of Craig and I would be an awesome idea. Gavin did not agree but we will not know until we try.

We have discovered that if he sleeps with Diego he sleeps much better. YAY! Now I am not sure what he will do at his dad's but we will see.

On a positive note, I received such a nice compliment today. Ann from the childcare at the gym told me that Makenna is like the sunshine. (Funny since I call her that.) She said that she loves to giggle, is always smiling and reminds her of me. That made me feel so good. And, the weirder thing was that just on Monday at the gym 2 different people said I am like the sunshine there. LOL! I really honestly try to not take my issues to work....or out on others. It isn't worth making someone else miserable because I am having a bad day. There are times when people can see that I am not myself. But I will not burden them with my issues. Instead I just keep on going....smiling through the tears. If I feel a break down happening, I go outside or in the bathroom where I can be alone. Focus on the good. We choose our mood. Crap happens, but it is how we deal with it that matters.

Another quick story.....I was vacuuming the gym the other day (like every day) and this member who comes in every single day asks me if I found any money. I laughed because about 5 minutes before hand I found a penny on the floor. So I told him yes and asked him if he left it there for me. He said, "No."  He asked if I kept it and I of course said yes. Yesterday the same guy asked again if I found any money. When I said no, I added "but the next time I do, it will be a lot more than a penny!" His response was, "Yes it will be my friend, it is written in the stars. It will happen soon." Then on my way home from Gavin's appointment there was a new song on the radio that was announced as "this will probably be the next song you download" then they said the name and it was Written in the Stars. I swear every hair on my body stood straight up! I could not believe it. This is the member that last week I over heard him say to another member, "You choose your destiny my friend." He is like this positive energy that I totally need right now. And, every time I turn around he is there. Not in a creepy way either. LOL!

I got home and checked facebook to see Rachel on and her brother. We kept posting all over her link and being silly. It was totally what I needed. I am so thankful for silliness and those who make me laugh. I am blessed that there are so many in my life that do that for me! Hopefully next Wednesday will work for all my girls to go out to the Melting Pot with me. It has been a while since I have seen everyone.

I think I have said enough. There is more but it can wait. What I am thankful for today:
Gavin's therapist
Jennifer G
the awesome weather today
positive people
the card I made today
my first orientation at The Center this Sunday.....wish me luck!
bubble baths
the news I so badly want to explode and tell the world....but I can't yet.
cooking on the grill
positive thoughts
my health
simple things
girls night
Zumba Happy Hour next week....whooo hooo!