Rudy once said to me, "No matter what anyone thinks, no matter what anyone says, you absolutely must stand up to whatever it is that YOU believe in." With this running through my head, I think to myself...what do I believe in? I know that giving is something that I completely believe in doing since it is so much more fulfilling than receiving. (At least it is to me.) I also believe in loyalty. Being in a position many times where I have felt the wrath of being stabbed in the back from someone who you may think is a true friend. I have had people say that no matter what they would always be there for me. Then I around and they are no where to be found. I am sure I have had my turn of not being as loyal as I should have been. Life experiences have taught me that loyalty is very important. Friendship is something that I completely believe in. Life would get pretty darn lonely without friends. And, it seems as though when you are at your lowest point, your true friends are the ones who are still by your side. They are the ones who are completely loyal and very giving. Freedom is of course another huge thing. There are so many things that I know I would fight for to the end. These mentioned are only a few of them.
One of the biggest things I believe in is love. The love I have for my children is like no other love I could have ever experienced. I always have said that with the love of my kids, I feel like I could take on the world. Being a mom does turn us women into a different being. Someone recently told me how much they respect mothers. They respect mothers because we gain these super powers that men will never gain. One is the power to multi task the other is the power to stand up to anyone. I have mastered the multi tasking LOL! Standing up to anyone....well, I am working on it. If they get in the way of my children, you better believe that I will open my mouth. However, when my feelings are hurt I find it difficult to tell the person how I feel. I am working on this in therapy. Feeling judged and criticised, it is not easy for me to express how sad I am to the people who are being so judgemental. I know in time things will be fine. So I guess all I need is time? I keep reminding myself that it is just words...just words...... And, once again that those being judgemental are only bringing on more judgement onto themselves.
The next thing I believe in completely is happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy and no one in this world can know what will fulfill another person. And, it is no one's business on why something makes someone happy. Like Jen reminded me today, "You always tell me that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." These are words I always say to her. Funny how sometimes we need to re-hear our own advice. She is right...well, I am right...LOL! It may hurt when you find out someone doesn't agree with your choices, or that they are discussing your personal life behind your back. The important thing to remember is that IT DOESN'T MATTER! So, my advice today: don't worry, be happy. And, do not allow other people's opinions to alter your decisions. They do not live your life....you do. And remember to stand up for what you believe in...no matter what. How is that for being strong? LOL!
What I am thankful for today:
my children
my friends
love
laughter
Feels Like Heaven (love that movie!)
faith
getting in 3 walks today!
the park and lunch today with Makenna, Jen and Tanner
Gavin enjoying his 1st day of school
strength
courage
happiness
loyalty
freedom
giving
selflessness
being a mommy
time with my kids
a beautiful day today
an appointment with the Healing Place tomorrow
my store
new customers
my enormous mums
the sunshine
hugs
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Compliments and Simple Things
Let me start by saying Thank You to whoever posted the very nice comment under my last blog. It isn't often one hears compliments like that, even more so from a complete stranger. Again, I thank you. It is greatly appreciated.
Never have I taken compliments well. I am thinking it is because I had a hard time believing them. It also has to do with those people who are very self-centered and so confident in their appearance, their material items, their money and so on that they come off as being very snooty. Never did I want to emit those feelings to anyone. I feel very confident in myself in every aspect where once I did not. However, people tell me all the time that I send out positive vibes and not conceited ones. WHEW! I am thankful that I am surrounded by people who are just like me. I take a huge look at my friends and none of them expect compliments or praise. All of them find joy in the simple things in life and know that it is the small things that end up being the most meaningful and important in the long run.
I am thankful for these simple things in my life:
time with my children
time alone
time with my friends
laughter
love
nature; rainbows, sunsets, the ocean, the sand, flowers, etc.
creativity
imagination
inspiration
sleep
coffee
music
bare feet
smiles
hugs
motivation
my health
the health of my children
confidence
strength
painted toes
sea shells
the sunshine
the rain
Boston cream donuts
my pets
candles (PartyLite of course!)
the smell of Christmas
contentment
my free spirit
each new day
every new lesson learned
clean laundry right out of the dryer
"I love you's" (thanks Jamie for telling me every single day.)
a clean house and the productive feeling you get once you are done
gardening
scrapbooking
long walks
long talks
a working computer
pictures
funny movies
breeze on a hot summer day
kindness
thoughtfulness
selflessness
signs from above
dreams
goals
and the power to accomplish both
Never have I taken compliments well. I am thinking it is because I had a hard time believing them. It also has to do with those people who are very self-centered and so confident in their appearance, their material items, their money and so on that they come off as being very snooty. Never did I want to emit those feelings to anyone. I feel very confident in myself in every aspect where once I did not. However, people tell me all the time that I send out positive vibes and not conceited ones. WHEW! I am thankful that I am surrounded by people who are just like me. I take a huge look at my friends and none of them expect compliments or praise. All of them find joy in the simple things in life and know that it is the small things that end up being the most meaningful and important in the long run.
I am thankful for these simple things in my life:
time with my children
time alone
time with my friends
laughter
love
nature; rainbows, sunsets, the ocean, the sand, flowers, etc.
creativity
imagination
inspiration
sleep
coffee
music
bare feet
smiles
hugs
motivation
my health
the health of my children
confidence
strength
painted toes
sea shells
the sunshine
the rain
Boston cream donuts
my pets
candles (PartyLite of course!)
the smell of Christmas
contentment
my free spirit
each new day
every new lesson learned
clean laundry right out of the dryer
"I love you's" (thanks Jamie for telling me every single day.)
a clean house and the productive feeling you get once you are done
gardening
scrapbooking
long walks
long talks
a working computer
pictures
funny movies
breeze on a hot summer day
kindness
thoughtfulness
selflessness
signs from above
dreams
goals
and the power to accomplish both
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Unwritten
I took this Facebook Quiz a while back called Which Song Defines Your Life. Now, normally I do not think these things are very accurate however, sometimes they are right on. Today, I decided to look up the lyrics to the song that came up for me. It is totally me.
All I want to say is that I find it very odd when people think they can live my life better than me. It would be nice if everyone kept their opinions to themselves since they are just opinions. I have seen members of my family and some of my friends over come some stressful situations and come out on top...despite what others thought. I believe in leaving the judgement up to God since he is the one who matters. Everything happens for a reason and not everyone has to like it or agree with it. My advice....hang around those who support you and the decisions you make. Those who have to put in their two sense are not worth your time. You are the only one who can live your life and make the decisions for it. Trust yourself and your angels to guide you in the right direction. We all need to learn life lessons and learn to be strong. I know how hard it is to not try to please everyone...I have been doing that my entire life. We all know that if you are not happy....you cannot make those around you happy. I know that I have no regrets from my past and that my future is going to be wonderful!
"Unwritten"
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, yeah, yeah
Today I am thankful for:
my friends
support
my strength and courage
life lessons
a day at the beach yesterday
knowing that words are just words and I can allow them to hurt me or go in one ear and out the other (one guess what my choice is..LOL!)
my children
the yellow rose in my garden
the butterfly that was fluttering around in my yard this morning
nature
beautiful signs from above
Makenna having a blast in the sand and the ocean. I love that she is fearless and outdoorsy like me.
Melinda, Marty, Josh and Alyssa (oh, and Toby!)
playing Wii Fit with Alyssa
singing Karaoke with Melinda's mom...so fun!
Diane
knowing that what one may look at as a mistake another will look at as a lesson
All I want to say is that I find it very odd when people think they can live my life better than me. It would be nice if everyone kept their opinions to themselves since they are just opinions. I have seen members of my family and some of my friends over come some stressful situations and come out on top...despite what others thought. I believe in leaving the judgement up to God since he is the one who matters. Everything happens for a reason and not everyone has to like it or agree with it. My advice....hang around those who support you and the decisions you make. Those who have to put in their two sense are not worth your time. You are the only one who can live your life and make the decisions for it. Trust yourself and your angels to guide you in the right direction. We all need to learn life lessons and learn to be strong. I know how hard it is to not try to please everyone...I have been doing that my entire life. We all know that if you are not happy....you cannot make those around you happy. I know that I have no regrets from my past and that my future is going to be wonderful!
"Unwritten"
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, yeah, yeah
Today I am thankful for:
my friends
support
my strength and courage
life lessons
a day at the beach yesterday
knowing that words are just words and I can allow them to hurt me or go in one ear and out the other (one guess what my choice is..LOL!)
my children
the yellow rose in my garden
the butterfly that was fluttering around in my yard this morning
nature
beautiful signs from above
Makenna having a blast in the sand and the ocean. I love that she is fearless and outdoorsy like me.
Melinda, Marty, Josh and Alyssa (oh, and Toby!)
playing Wii Fit with Alyssa
singing Karaoke with Melinda's mom...so fun!
Diane
knowing that what one may look at as a mistake another will look at as a lesson
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Feathers, Rainbows and Clouds
Recalling the article I read 7 Ways Your Angels Communicate With You, I was thinking about the fact that I have only been communicated with through music. Then I thought, I was probably just blind to other means of communication. Clouds, rainbows and feathers are other signs. Although I admit that I never really looked at the clouds, feathers always made me think, "bird" and rainbows just meant to me an ending to a storm. After reading The Secret I know that once we get rid of our beliefs we learn the truth. This week has been a major confirmation to me that my angels are communicating to me through every way possible.
On Tuesday I was getting out of the shower when I saw this 'big fuzzy' floating in the air. I put my hand out and let it land in the palm of my hand. It ended up being a tiny white feather. When I say tiny, I mean like the size of a pencil eraser. It was not a bird feather nor was it from anything I had in my house. It hit me that here was my feather sign. I had just written in my Gratitude Book that I am thankful for the signs from my angels the night before.
Yesterday twice I saw a rainbow. One was on the floor and the other was on the wall. How could I have forgotten that rainbows do not just appear in the sky? Whether it be a prism, or a reflection, rainbows can appear anywhere. In my life now, rainbows are a sign meaning to me that I am where I need to be and that I am making the perfect decisions for my life.
On my way to therapy yesterday, something was telling me to look at the clouds. So, I glanced up to see a cloud right in front of me that was shaped like perfect heart. They say that things happen in threes. I got three signs that I never thought would happen to me. Maybe it is because I am so in tuned to music that I assumed that is how I would continue to see my signs. My therapist reminds me how lucky I am. I tell her that everyone could be just as lucky as me if they would open their mind to the possibilities that are out there. Everyone could have the same experiences as me if they believed. You also cannot be afraid of it. Too many people are too scared of the unknown while others cannot get rid of their beliefs to see what the truth actually is.
Almost daily I speak to my grandfather who has passed. I am not sure why, but he is the one I feel around me the most. We do have a lot in common with our love for the beach and our passion for writing. We also have a lot in common when it comes to the paths our lives had taken. I know that out of all people in my life, he would understand me the most. I know that he would not judge me or criticize me. Maybe this is why he continues to be near me. I am lucky, blessed, whatever word you may choose. Every day I have so many things to be thankful for and more and more continue to flow into my life as my journey continues.
What I am thankful for today:
therapy yesterday
my signs from my angels
Jamie who is moving back this fall!!! WHOO HOO!
Diane (thank you for watching the kids yesterday and allowing me to use your van)
Melinda
my mom
my dad
Jenny who I miss very much!
Shawn
Sally and her class tonight
Buffy
Jen
rainbows
flowers
The Secret
my children
my pets
creativity
laughter
long talks
love
On Tuesday I was getting out of the shower when I saw this 'big fuzzy' floating in the air. I put my hand out and let it land in the palm of my hand. It ended up being a tiny white feather. When I say tiny, I mean like the size of a pencil eraser. It was not a bird feather nor was it from anything I had in my house. It hit me that here was my feather sign. I had just written in my Gratitude Book that I am thankful for the signs from my angels the night before.
Yesterday twice I saw a rainbow. One was on the floor and the other was on the wall. How could I have forgotten that rainbows do not just appear in the sky? Whether it be a prism, or a reflection, rainbows can appear anywhere. In my life now, rainbows are a sign meaning to me that I am where I need to be and that I am making the perfect decisions for my life.
On my way to therapy yesterday, something was telling me to look at the clouds. So, I glanced up to see a cloud right in front of me that was shaped like perfect heart. They say that things happen in threes. I got three signs that I never thought would happen to me. Maybe it is because I am so in tuned to music that I assumed that is how I would continue to see my signs. My therapist reminds me how lucky I am. I tell her that everyone could be just as lucky as me if they would open their mind to the possibilities that are out there. Everyone could have the same experiences as me if they believed. You also cannot be afraid of it. Too many people are too scared of the unknown while others cannot get rid of their beliefs to see what the truth actually is.
Almost daily I speak to my grandfather who has passed. I am not sure why, but he is the one I feel around me the most. We do have a lot in common with our love for the beach and our passion for writing. We also have a lot in common when it comes to the paths our lives had taken. I know that out of all people in my life, he would understand me the most. I know that he would not judge me or criticize me. Maybe this is why he continues to be near me. I am lucky, blessed, whatever word you may choose. Every day I have so many things to be thankful for and more and more continue to flow into my life as my journey continues.
What I am thankful for today:
therapy yesterday
my signs from my angels
Jamie who is moving back this fall!!! WHOO HOO!
Diane (thank you for watching the kids yesterday and allowing me to use your van)
Melinda
my mom
my dad
Jenny who I miss very much!
Shawn
Sally and her class tonight
Buffy
Jen
rainbows
flowers
The Secret
my children
my pets
creativity
laughter
long talks
love
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Waiting on an Angel
I heard this song for the first time the other day and it made me think back to darker days of my life. No, it doesn't make me think of the bad times. It is just the fact that there were so many songs that I listened to back then that either related to my life or were inspirations. This is one I would have listened to often if I were to have heard it back then. It is called Waiting on an Angel by Ben Harper:
Waiting on an angel
one to carry me home
hope you come to see me soon
cause I don't want to go alone
I don't want to go alone
Now angel won't you come by me
angel hear my plea
take my hand lift me up
so that I can fly with thee
so that I can fly with thee
And I'm waiting on an angel
and I know it won't be long
to find myself a resting place
in my angel's arms
in my angel's arms
So speak kind to a stranger
cause you'll never know
it just might be an angel come
knockin' at your door
knockin' at your door
And I'm waiting on an angel
and I know it won't be long
to find myself a resting place
in my angel's arms
in my angel's arms
Waiting on an angel
one to carry me home
hope you come to see me soon
cause I don't want to go alone
I don't want to go alone
don't want to go
I don't want to go alone
Now with my angels making their presence known, I know that I am not alone. They are carrying me through life. I have made an analogy for myself which I have blogged about before. I think of myself as a butterfly. Where once I felt insecure, scared and ugly, I have changed to feeling secure with myself, courageous, and beautiful. Every day I am learning more and more of who I am and who I want to be. I am finally content with the person I have become. Thanks to life lessons and those who have followed me throughout my life, even those who have come and gone.....I have developed a sense of self worth and hope for my future. I pray that everyone knows that they deserve the best life possible and that they do not settle for anything less than the best for themselves. This is in no way being selfish. We have to be fulfilled within in order to shine and make anyone else happy.
Be open to the signs your angels show you and know that you are never alone throughout life's journey. And, be positive and have faith that your life is going to unfold just as you want it to.
Click on the title of this blog to see the video on Youtube.com.
What I am thankful for today:
music
my angels
my friends
the power to love myself
laughter
funny movies
long talks
the power of prayer
The Healing Place (another great session yesterday!)
Jim Carey
new customers
quality time alone today
my children
the movie The Wedding Date (watched it twice today)
the sunshine
rainbows
butterflies
flowers
creativity
inspiration
love
Waiting on an angel
one to carry me home
hope you come to see me soon
cause I don't want to go alone
I don't want to go alone
Now angel won't you come by me
angel hear my plea
take my hand lift me up
so that I can fly with thee
so that I can fly with thee
And I'm waiting on an angel
and I know it won't be long
to find myself a resting place
in my angel's arms
in my angel's arms
So speak kind to a stranger
cause you'll never know
it just might be an angel come
knockin' at your door
knockin' at your door
And I'm waiting on an angel
and I know it won't be long
to find myself a resting place
in my angel's arms
in my angel's arms
Waiting on an angel
one to carry me home
hope you come to see me soon
cause I don't want to go alone
I don't want to go alone
don't want to go
I don't want to go alone
Now with my angels making their presence known, I know that I am not alone. They are carrying me through life. I have made an analogy for myself which I have blogged about before. I think of myself as a butterfly. Where once I felt insecure, scared and ugly, I have changed to feeling secure with myself, courageous, and beautiful. Every day I am learning more and more of who I am and who I want to be. I am finally content with the person I have become. Thanks to life lessons and those who have followed me throughout my life, even those who have come and gone.....I have developed a sense of self worth and hope for my future. I pray that everyone knows that they deserve the best life possible and that they do not settle for anything less than the best for themselves. This is in no way being selfish. We have to be fulfilled within in order to shine and make anyone else happy.
Be open to the signs your angels show you and know that you are never alone throughout life's journey. And, be positive and have faith that your life is going to unfold just as you want it to.
Click on the title of this blog to see the video on Youtube.com.
What I am thankful for today:
music
my angels
my friends
the power to love myself
laughter
funny movies
long talks
the power of prayer
The Healing Place (another great session yesterday!)
Jim Carey
new customers
quality time alone today
my children
the movie The Wedding Date (watched it twice today)
the sunshine
rainbows
butterflies
flowers
creativity
inspiration
love
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Things to Be Thankful For
I woke up today with a smile on my face. Being that I am not a morning person, this is very rare! LOL! However, I had a great day yesterday with the kids and last night with Diane. I also know that I have so many things to be thankful for. Makenna and I cut sunflowers out of the front yard yesterday and made a nice arrangement in a vase for the dining room table. She loves to help me garden. I am so thankful that she is interested in one of my passions. I want her to be well rounded and appreciate the little things in life. Also yesterday I got a beautiful card from Jen. It is wonderful to read words of inspiration and friendship that are written for you. I am thankful that she is in my life and able to express her feelings about our friendship. Jamie and I had a few heart to heart talks yesterday which only make me realize more and more that she is my best friend. Not everyone experiences the true bond of a soul-mate. Jamie and I know that we are meant to be in each others lives and that we are soul-mates. No matter what, we are always there for each other and make it a point to tell each other that....sometimes without words. I am so thankful for Jamie.
Diane and I went grocery shopping last night and took Makenna. I am so thankful that I can take Makenna anywhere. She was awesome. In fact she had Diane laughing and telling me that she will take her shopping any time. We were at Giant for well over two hours and Makenna was an angel. Last night when I was laying with her she kept telling me that she loved me. I am so thankful that my children are affectionate and expressive about their feelings. I am also thankful for being able to spend time with Diane. Mostly, I am thankful that she is not only my neighbor but also one of my best friends. I appreciate her more than she knows.
While being outside yesterday Bonnie my neighbor, walked up to me and said she had something for me. She gave me the biggest hug and started crying. She thanked me for being an inspiration to her and for listening to her and motivating her. I had no idea that I did this for her. Over the past year she has been going through a very difficult time. We would sit outside and talk, I would listen mostly while she talked to me about her 'not so great' childhood. I felt sad for her. I am so thankful that she got so much out of me and considers me an inspiration to her.
Shawn called me yesterday to tell me that he is so thankful for me and my positive energy. He blames me for his positive life changes which have been escalating in the past few weeks. Now enjoying all the things he once loved but could not get into, he is back on the right track and all things good are flowing into his life. He says I am his sunshine...LOL! This makes me laugh since Nancy from the salon calls me Suzie Sunshine. People call me just to hear my voice, and make a point to tell me that. Buffy once said that it is my laughter that she totally enjoys. Jen says it is my loyalty and support. Bonnie says it is the fact that I listen. There are so many things people tell me about myself that I never would have even taken notice too. This is just who I am now and it seems to benefit me and all those around me.
I am not sure what it was about yesterday but people were just thanking me and complimenting me and my positive energy. Could it be me showing gratitude every chance I get? Absolutely. Now that I am fulfilled within, I am able to give more than I ever could have in the past. People are feeding off my positive energy all the time. I am able to be an inspiration to those around me because I feel blessed and happy on the inside. A year ago, I did not feel that way. My heart, mind, body and spirit are healing each and every day. I only hope and pray that everyone can one day can feel the spiritual healing, confidence, and gratitude that I do. Everyone deserves a good life, but a lot of people do not feel deserving of one. I pray for those around me every night before bed. May God relieve the stress and anxiety of those around me. May God heal those who are in pain. May God lead everyone down the positive path of life. My God grant health and happiness to all who are in my life. May God give those who feel weak the confidence they need to be strong. May God help aid those who feel empty inside and fill them with the love for themselves that they are lacking. May everyone around me realize that it is the simple things in life that are much larger than anything that money can buy.
What I am thankful for today:
my amazing day yesterday
the gratitude and appreciate people are showing me
my ability to give so much to others now that I am fulfilled within
my children
my arrangement of sunflowers
the card from Jen
time with my friends and my children
Makenna helping me clean yesterday
my class tonight
being an inspiration to others
hugs
tears of happiness and appreciation
my mom getting Gavin stuff for school
self healing
the simple things in life
time to paint mine and Makenna's nails yesterday
God
the power of prayer
my positive attitude
laughter
love
Diane and I went grocery shopping last night and took Makenna. I am so thankful that I can take Makenna anywhere. She was awesome. In fact she had Diane laughing and telling me that she will take her shopping any time. We were at Giant for well over two hours and Makenna was an angel. Last night when I was laying with her she kept telling me that she loved me. I am so thankful that my children are affectionate and expressive about their feelings. I am also thankful for being able to spend time with Diane. Mostly, I am thankful that she is not only my neighbor but also one of my best friends. I appreciate her more than she knows.
While being outside yesterday Bonnie my neighbor, walked up to me and said she had something for me. She gave me the biggest hug and started crying. She thanked me for being an inspiration to her and for listening to her and motivating her. I had no idea that I did this for her. Over the past year she has been going through a very difficult time. We would sit outside and talk, I would listen mostly while she talked to me about her 'not so great' childhood. I felt sad for her. I am so thankful that she got so much out of me and considers me an inspiration to her.
Shawn called me yesterday to tell me that he is so thankful for me and my positive energy. He blames me for his positive life changes which have been escalating in the past few weeks. Now enjoying all the things he once loved but could not get into, he is back on the right track and all things good are flowing into his life. He says I am his sunshine...LOL! This makes me laugh since Nancy from the salon calls me Suzie Sunshine. People call me just to hear my voice, and make a point to tell me that. Buffy once said that it is my laughter that she totally enjoys. Jen says it is my loyalty and support. Bonnie says it is the fact that I listen. There are so many things people tell me about myself that I never would have even taken notice too. This is just who I am now and it seems to benefit me and all those around me.
I am not sure what it was about yesterday but people were just thanking me and complimenting me and my positive energy. Could it be me showing gratitude every chance I get? Absolutely. Now that I am fulfilled within, I am able to give more than I ever could have in the past. People are feeding off my positive energy all the time. I am able to be an inspiration to those around me because I feel blessed and happy on the inside. A year ago, I did not feel that way. My heart, mind, body and spirit are healing each and every day. I only hope and pray that everyone can one day can feel the spiritual healing, confidence, and gratitude that I do. Everyone deserves a good life, but a lot of people do not feel deserving of one. I pray for those around me every night before bed. May God relieve the stress and anxiety of those around me. May God heal those who are in pain. May God lead everyone down the positive path of life. My God grant health and happiness to all who are in my life. May God give those who feel weak the confidence they need to be strong. May God help aid those who feel empty inside and fill them with the love for themselves that they are lacking. May everyone around me realize that it is the simple things in life that are much larger than anything that money can buy.
What I am thankful for today:
my amazing day yesterday
the gratitude and appreciate people are showing me
my ability to give so much to others now that I am fulfilled within
my children
my arrangement of sunflowers
the card from Jen
time with my friends and my children
Makenna helping me clean yesterday
my class tonight
being an inspiration to others
hugs
tears of happiness and appreciation
my mom getting Gavin stuff for school
self healing
the simple things in life
time to paint mine and Makenna's nails yesterday
God
the power of prayer
my positive attitude
laughter
love
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Melinda and the Scrapping the Music Song for This Week
My intention was to blog about my day yesterday with Melinda and the kids but I am only going to touch a little about it. Yesterday was awesome. I look up to Melinda and her husband so much. I admire everything about them. Not only are they very successful business people but they have an amazing relationship. With their strong faith in God, the way they raise their children, the amazing way they communicate with each other, the trust they have in one another, and the fact that they are truly best friends.....only makes me want what they have. Out of every couple I know, I admire them the most. They honestly treat each other as an equal.
Alyssa and I played Wii Fit and had a blast! Josh and Alyssa have turned out to be such wonderful children. They are fun, helpful, considerate and very well rounded. I love that they are so willing to try just about anything and have SO much motivation. They are so much like their parents. The entire family is so giving and so grateful. I am so thankful and blessed to have them as a part of my and my kids life.
Anyway, my blog is about this awesome new song that is the Scrapping the Music Challenge. It was brought to my attention when one of the team members left a comment under my last blog. She said that because of my life, I will be able to relate to this song tremendously. It makes me feel really good to know that I can be an inspiration to people I have never even met just from them reading my blog. I read the lyrics and she was right on.
More Beautiful You
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl
WOW. I was always one as a teen to feel fat, not good enough, and so on. As a young adult I always wanted someone to love me because I really didn't love myself. I can TOTALLY relate to this song. I now know that no matter how much someone loves you, if you do not love yourself your relationship will never work. Finally after 36 years, I do love myself. No it is not in a conceited way. I love that I am able to give more, love more, laugh more and still feel fulfilled inside. My friends stick around because of my positive energy and willingness to give. They stay by my side because I am a selfless person who loves to love and constantly shows gratitude. Because they are like me, I chose to stay by their side as well. It is a give-give situation. I do not call my friends only when I feel I need them. At this point in my life I do not feel in need of anything. It is nice to be able to want something and not feel that you NEED it. It is nice to not have attachments to things or people but instead admire them. I WANT my friends in my life and I know they know that. I am very blessed to have so many wonderful, inspiring people to be surrounded by. My children are blessed as well to be surrounded by many people who love them. If they see Mommy showing gratitude and feeling love within, they will learn to love themselves and be thankful as well.
What I am thankful for today:
A wonderful weekend with Jamie
time with Melinda and the kids yesterday
Melinda and Marty
the ability to love myself
my children and their health and happiness
Judy's card class tonight
my courage
the ability to want and not need
having a Queen sized bed all to myself
feeling content
the love I feel from my children and my friends
appreciation
Diane and Rudy (another couple I admire greatly)
being able to spend so much time with my children
self healing
the ability to live my life the best way I know how
knowing that time heals and that everything happens for a reason
the peacefullness I feel within that grows every day
my health
the safety of my children and myself
Realizing that God made me perfect in his eyes and people will love me just the way I am.
Alyssa and I played Wii Fit and had a blast! Josh and Alyssa have turned out to be such wonderful children. They are fun, helpful, considerate and very well rounded. I love that they are so willing to try just about anything and have SO much motivation. They are so much like their parents. The entire family is so giving and so grateful. I am so thankful and blessed to have them as a part of my and my kids life.
Anyway, my blog is about this awesome new song that is the Scrapping the Music Challenge. It was brought to my attention when one of the team members left a comment under my last blog. She said that because of my life, I will be able to relate to this song tremendously. It makes me feel really good to know that I can be an inspiration to people I have never even met just from them reading my blog. I read the lyrics and she was right on.
More Beautiful You
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl
WOW. I was always one as a teen to feel fat, not good enough, and so on. As a young adult I always wanted someone to love me because I really didn't love myself. I can TOTALLY relate to this song. I now know that no matter how much someone loves you, if you do not love yourself your relationship will never work. Finally after 36 years, I do love myself. No it is not in a conceited way. I love that I am able to give more, love more, laugh more and still feel fulfilled inside. My friends stick around because of my positive energy and willingness to give. They stay by my side because I am a selfless person who loves to love and constantly shows gratitude. Because they are like me, I chose to stay by their side as well. It is a give-give situation. I do not call my friends only when I feel I need them. At this point in my life I do not feel in need of anything. It is nice to be able to want something and not feel that you NEED it. It is nice to not have attachments to things or people but instead admire them. I WANT my friends in my life and I know they know that. I am very blessed to have so many wonderful, inspiring people to be surrounded by. My children are blessed as well to be surrounded by many people who love them. If they see Mommy showing gratitude and feeling love within, they will learn to love themselves and be thankful as well.
What I am thankful for today:
A wonderful weekend with Jamie
time with Melinda and the kids yesterday
Melinda and Marty
the ability to love myself
my children and their health and happiness
Judy's card class tonight
my courage
the ability to want and not need
having a Queen sized bed all to myself
feeling content
the love I feel from my children and my friends
appreciation
Diane and Rudy (another couple I admire greatly)
being able to spend so much time with my children
self healing
the ability to live my life the best way I know how
knowing that time heals and that everything happens for a reason
the peacefullness I feel within that grows every day
my health
the safety of my children and myself
Realizing that God made me perfect in his eyes and people will love me just the way I am.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
An Awesome Therapy Session
Yesterday I had therapy. It was a very good session for one very good reason.... my therapist is very happy with my progress. Every time I see her she says she sees more positive changes. Yesterday I made sure to tell her about my self healing. I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. In the last few weeks I have been taking the time to go over my past, my choices, my patterns, etc. Once again I will say that I feel that there are no mistakes and I have no regrets about the choices I have made. I would not be where I am today if I didn't choose the paths I had.
I now truly believe that we are able to heal ourselves; spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. I have always looked for someone to fix me. Whether it be a doctor, a therapist, a friend, a lover. I never knew that we could heal on our own. No pill or relationship will fix me. All it does is mask the issues. Now I am willing to do what it takes to heal on my own. In the last few months I have come a very long way. Where once I would run from confrontation, I now face it. I have completely changed the way I communicate. This is a big step for me. I also have stopped allowing people's words to scare and/or hurt me. I keep telling myself that there are always going to be things I do not want to hear. But it is just words and I keep telling myself that. When people are voicing their opinions, I do not have to allow it to stress me out. Just because they have different views on things doesn't mean I have to agree with them or take it personally. This has made me so much stronger. Where once there was panic attacks, is now a peacefulness. Little did I know that anxiety is instilled in us as we are growing up. Whether it be a parent or another mentor, the way they handle stress is the way we think we should as adults. I want my children to be more laid back, less stressed about the little things, and not worry like I always did.
My therapist is the most un-opinionated therapist that I was ever to. I love that she listens, points things out, and understands. I feel a great connection with her because she is allowing me to find out who I am without making me feel I should be a certain way. I love that she wants me to continue to be ME. She is always addressing the positivity in my life, how far I have come, and how I continue to heal myself every day. She is not there to tell me if I am wrong or right. She agrees that we all make the right decision for ourselves and we should not allow outside influences to alter our choices.
I left feeling even more peaceful and more confident. I love who I am, whether or not everyone else does....I really do not care. This Amy Grant song sums it up for me:
All I Ever Have To Be
When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.
But I'm still hurting,
Wondering if Ill ever be
The one I think I am.
I think I am.
Then you gently re-remind me
That you've made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.
And I realize the good in me,
Is only there because of who you are.
Who you are...
And all I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.
As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.
And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
What I am thankful for today:
therapy
Amy Grant
my children
jumping on the trampoline last night with the kids
the power heal ourselves
the power to believe
faith
courage
Melinda
sleeping until 9am this morning with Makenna
people who are so willing to help others without expecting anything in return
a wonderful night's sleep last night
being down 17 lbs!!
garlic bread
a beautiful day today
laughter
smiles
I now truly believe that we are able to heal ourselves; spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. I have always looked for someone to fix me. Whether it be a doctor, a therapist, a friend, a lover. I never knew that we could heal on our own. No pill or relationship will fix me. All it does is mask the issues. Now I am willing to do what it takes to heal on my own. In the last few months I have come a very long way. Where once I would run from confrontation, I now face it. I have completely changed the way I communicate. This is a big step for me. I also have stopped allowing people's words to scare and/or hurt me. I keep telling myself that there are always going to be things I do not want to hear. But it is just words and I keep telling myself that. When people are voicing their opinions, I do not have to allow it to stress me out. Just because they have different views on things doesn't mean I have to agree with them or take it personally. This has made me so much stronger. Where once there was panic attacks, is now a peacefulness. Little did I know that anxiety is instilled in us as we are growing up. Whether it be a parent or another mentor, the way they handle stress is the way we think we should as adults. I want my children to be more laid back, less stressed about the little things, and not worry like I always did.
My therapist is the most un-opinionated therapist that I was ever to. I love that she listens, points things out, and understands. I feel a great connection with her because she is allowing me to find out who I am without making me feel I should be a certain way. I love that she wants me to continue to be ME. She is always addressing the positivity in my life, how far I have come, and how I continue to heal myself every day. She is not there to tell me if I am wrong or right. She agrees that we all make the right decision for ourselves and we should not allow outside influences to alter our choices.
I left feeling even more peaceful and more confident. I love who I am, whether or not everyone else does....I really do not care. This Amy Grant song sums it up for me:
All I Ever Have To Be
When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.
But I'm still hurting,
Wondering if Ill ever be
The one I think I am.
I think I am.
Then you gently re-remind me
That you've made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.
And I realize the good in me,
Is only there because of who you are.
Who you are...
And all I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.
As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.
And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
What I am thankful for today:
therapy
Amy Grant
my children
jumping on the trampoline last night with the kids
the power heal ourselves
the power to believe
faith
courage
Melinda
sleeping until 9am this morning with Makenna
people who are so willing to help others without expecting anything in return
a wonderful night's sleep last night
being down 17 lbs!!
garlic bread
a beautiful day today
laughter
smiles
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Live and Learn
This is the quote I received today from Belief.net:
Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Every day, I try to learn... whether it be from my children, my friends, things I read and so on. The knowledge we can learn is unlimited. This is why I try to keep an open mind. There are so many out there who are close minded and do not allow room for new information and new possibilities. The possibilities for us are endless. I feel that I now live my life using all the past experiences I have learned. However, I do not allow my past experiences to control how I live. Does that make sense? You live by experience but you also learn by experience. I have no regrets from my past decisions and feel that I have learned a lot from them. A very wise person recently said to me, "You must stand up for what you believe in, no matter what anyone else thinks." I have noticed in the past that I have allowed outsiders interfere with my decisions in life. I cared way too much what others would think or say. Now I finally feel strong enough to not allow outsiders affect my decisions. Maybe this is because I am a stronger person, and I have been trying to live as if each day was my last. Life is seriously too short to worry about what others think. When I feel the brunt of someones criticism, I just tell myself that they will get over it and this is my life. If I feel that I am making the right decisions, who has the right to tell me otherwise? They are not able to get inside of me to see and feel what makes me happy. I am just going to live every day as if it was my last. If I am happy then those around me will be happy. And, hopefully those who do not understand my decisions will eventually be able to embrace my happiness as well.
What I am thankful for today:
support from those who care about me
the ability to not allow others opinions to control my decisions
my awesome kids
spending time with Jamie on Saturday night
seeing Annie on Monday
Makenna doing the 'newest' Electric Slide yesterday...LOL!
my new dress for Tanya's wedding (thank you Diane and Jenny for the Kohl's gift card!)
the entire day with my kids today
therapy tomorrow
my overabundance of time and energy
visits from Mimi and Pop-Pop (who I know are helping to guide me throughout my life)
my new Premier earrings from Beth's show!!
Gavin and Makenna's silly faces
each and every new day
Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Every day, I try to learn... whether it be from my children, my friends, things I read and so on. The knowledge we can learn is unlimited. This is why I try to keep an open mind. There are so many out there who are close minded and do not allow room for new information and new possibilities. The possibilities for us are endless. I feel that I now live my life using all the past experiences I have learned. However, I do not allow my past experiences to control how I live. Does that make sense? You live by experience but you also learn by experience. I have no regrets from my past decisions and feel that I have learned a lot from them. A very wise person recently said to me, "You must stand up for what you believe in, no matter what anyone else thinks." I have noticed in the past that I have allowed outsiders interfere with my decisions in life. I cared way too much what others would think or say. Now I finally feel strong enough to not allow outsiders affect my decisions. Maybe this is because I am a stronger person, and I have been trying to live as if each day was my last. Life is seriously too short to worry about what others think. When I feel the brunt of someones criticism, I just tell myself that they will get over it and this is my life. If I feel that I am making the right decisions, who has the right to tell me otherwise? They are not able to get inside of me to see and feel what makes me happy. I am just going to live every day as if it was my last. If I am happy then those around me will be happy. And, hopefully those who do not understand my decisions will eventually be able to embrace my happiness as well.
What I am thankful for today:
support from those who care about me
the ability to not allow others opinions to control my decisions
my awesome kids
spending time with Jamie on Saturday night
seeing Annie on Monday
Makenna doing the 'newest' Electric Slide yesterday...LOL!
my new dress for Tanya's wedding (thank you Diane and Jenny for the Kohl's gift card!)
the entire day with my kids today
therapy tomorrow
my overabundance of time and energy
visits from Mimi and Pop-Pop (who I know are helping to guide me throughout my life)
my new Premier earrings from Beth's show!!
Gavin and Makenna's silly faces
each and every new day
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Believe
Today's Daily Teaching:
There are two kinds of people:
Those who say, "I will believe it when I see it."
And those who say, "To see it, I know I must believe it."
I can be honest in saying that I totally used to be the first of the two. And, I hear people say this all the time. Living The Secret, I know we must believe in order to see.
Being that my life is crazy right now and I have to feel the brunt of judgement from others, I was stuck not seeing a way out of this. Why is it that people think they know how we should live our lives? Why do they have to even judge at all? No, not everyone needs to agree with how others live. However, we all need to keep that to ourselves and let them go about their business. Enough venting. Every night when I write in my Gratitude Book I write something to the affect that I am thankful for seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I am thankful for people allowing me to live my life without placing judgement on me. I am thankful that I do not allow other people's opinions affect my decisions. I am thankful for my peaceful mind, body, and spirit. I am thankful that people's judgement will not bother me.
Although I may not completely feel these things now, I believe they will come. I believe that we create our lives with what we believe in. Faith comes into play here too and this is why I pray for faith to pursue what I believe in every night. I pray that God leads me in the direction I need to go. So far he has not steered me wrong. I love the person I am now and I could never say that before. If others do not like me for who I am, it is there problem and it will not affect me.
In therapy it was brought to my attention that I am at a place in my life where I actually know what I want and will go after it. I am healing every day from the turmoil of my past experiences which at one time I kept buried deep within. Yes it is hard to resurface issues and open old wounds. I firmly believe to heal we need to do this. With the support of my friends who have proven to me that no matter what, they are by my side...not placing judgement, not criticizing.....I will get through everything that is ahead of me. I will get through what I need to and live my life to the fullest. This I truly believe.
What I am thankful for today:
The following friends for loving me enough to let me live my life the best I know how and still supporting me in every way. I love you guys!
Jamie
Diane
Jenny
Rachel
Heather
Jen
Buffy
Melinda
Sally
Tricia
Shawn
Todd
Rudy
Bob
Brian
Mike
Missy
Kirsten
Rita
Annie
Kathy
Denise
Judy
Kate
Cheryl
I am also thankful for:
Amy Grant's Time Again Concert DVD which I have been watching all day as an inspiration.
Her book which let me know that her life was not too far off mine.
The Daily Teachings
August Classes
my new side-walk sign for the store!! Thank you HEATHER!
Playing Wii with Makenna, Gavin and Jenny last night.
the sunshine today
getting things done
Makenna climbing in bed with me every night and wrapping her arms around my neck.
Gavin and Makenna singing (loudly) the Daughtry CD in my car last night.
getting into a size Medium!!!!
the piece of jewelry Shawn made me for my birthday.
Knowing that I can 'lay down my burden and God will carry me' ~Amy Grant
The Healing Place
my life
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