Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Home is where the heart is..

I now fully understand the meaning of Home is where the Heart is....

Being with two of my best friends, at two separate times yesterday, I was completely amazed at how this came about.

Melinda was again telling me that her house is just a house, filled with her stuff. She does not consider it her home. She has expressed this in the past as well. She and Marty own a beautiful home. It has something like 5 bedrooms, 5 and a half bathrooms, a full finished basement, an in ground pool, and lots more. However inside, she is feeling stressed and empty. It made me realize that you can own your dream house and yet, you can still be miserable.

Marty on the other hand you can tell feels very full-filled. He told me yesterday that his home is where he can spend time with the ones who love him. Marty doesn't care if he lives in a trailer home as long as he is with his family.

I looked back at my divorce and remembered feeling the same way as Melinda and Marty. Like Melinda had mentioned, she would leave everything behind except her and the kids beds, a table, her pets, and all the sentimental things she has received over the years. She would leave most everything behind to feel happy again. That is exactly how I felt when I was in my last marriage. Melinda has other things that are stressing her out. Marty and Melinda's marriage has nothing to do with her stress. However, she is still feeling lost and out of place in her home.

When I left my house behind during my divorce, I took nothing but clothes for Gavin and I and my pets. I left everything else there. And, I seriously didn't care. Everything else was material and could be replaced. All I knew is that I was miserable and that I had to change things. My home was no longer a home to me. I can totally relate to what Melinda and Marty both feel.

Melinda feels that her house is not a reflection of who she is as a person. She also is so miserable in her home that her heart is not there.

Marty feels that home is where his loved ones are and would live anywhere they can be together.

I was lost in my previous marriage to the point of not caring that I left my home or the things that filled it. I now know that you can own your dream house and it is only a house if you are miserable inside yourself. I now know the importance of catering to YOU first and truly being happy inside and out. It is not a selfish act at all. You only have one chance at life, why would you not want nor deserve to be happy?

I realize the importance of being happy and full-filled before pursuing your dreams. Once you feel the happiness that you deserve, no matter where you live or what kind of house you own, your heart will be in the right place.

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