My intention was to blog about my day yesterday with Melinda and the kids but I am only going to touch a little about it. Yesterday was awesome. I look up to Melinda and her husband so much. I admire everything about them. Not only are they very successful business people but they have an amazing relationship. With their strong faith in God, the way they raise their children, the amazing way they communicate with each other, the trust they have in one another, and the fact that they are truly best friends.....only makes me want what they have. Out of every couple I know, I admire them the most. They honestly treat each other as an equal.
Alyssa and I played Wii Fit and had a blast! Josh and Alyssa have turned out to be such wonderful children. They are fun, helpful, considerate and very well rounded. I love that they are so willing to try just about anything and have SO much motivation. They are so much like their parents. The entire family is so giving and so grateful. I am so thankful and blessed to have them as a part of my and my kids life.
Anyway, my blog is about this awesome new song that is the Scrapping the Music Challenge. It was brought to my attention when one of the team members left a comment under my last blog. She said that because of my life, I will be able to relate to this song tremendously. It makes me feel really good to know that I can be an inspiration to people I have never even met just from them reading my blog. I read the lyrics and she was right on.
More Beautiful You
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl
WOW. I was always one as a teen to feel fat, not good enough, and so on. As a young adult I always wanted someone to love me because I really didn't love myself. I can TOTALLY relate to this song. I now know that no matter how much someone loves you, if you do not love yourself your relationship will never work. Finally after 36 years, I do love myself. No it is not in a conceited way. I love that I am able to give more, love more, laugh more and still feel fulfilled inside. My friends stick around because of my positive energy and willingness to give. They stay by my side because I am a selfless person who loves to love and constantly shows gratitude. Because they are like me, I chose to stay by their side as well. It is a give-give situation. I do not call my friends only when I feel I need them. At this point in my life I do not feel in need of anything. It is nice to be able to want something and not feel that you NEED it. It is nice to not have attachments to things or people but instead admire them. I WANT my friends in my life and I know they know that. I am very blessed to have so many wonderful, inspiring people to be surrounded by. My children are blessed as well to be surrounded by many people who love them. If they see Mommy showing gratitude and feeling love within, they will learn to love themselves and be thankful as well.
What I am thankful for today:
A wonderful weekend with Jamie
time with Melinda and the kids yesterday
Melinda and Marty
the ability to love myself
my children and their health and happiness
Judy's card class tonight
my courage
the ability to want and not need
having a Queen sized bed all to myself
feeling content
the love I feel from my children and my friends
appreciation
Diane and Rudy (another couple I admire greatly)
being able to spend so much time with my children
self healing
the ability to live my life the best way I know how
knowing that time heals and that everything happens for a reason
the peacefullness I feel within that grows every day
my health
the safety of my children and myself
Realizing that God made me perfect in his eyes and people will love me just the way I am.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
An Awesome Therapy Session
Yesterday I had therapy. It was a very good session for one very good reason.... my therapist is very happy with my progress. Every time I see her she says she sees more positive changes. Yesterday I made sure to tell her about my self healing. I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. In the last few weeks I have been taking the time to go over my past, my choices, my patterns, etc. Once again I will say that I feel that there are no mistakes and I have no regrets about the choices I have made. I would not be where I am today if I didn't choose the paths I had.
I now truly believe that we are able to heal ourselves; spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. I have always looked for someone to fix me. Whether it be a doctor, a therapist, a friend, a lover. I never knew that we could heal on our own. No pill or relationship will fix me. All it does is mask the issues. Now I am willing to do what it takes to heal on my own. In the last few months I have come a very long way. Where once I would run from confrontation, I now face it. I have completely changed the way I communicate. This is a big step for me. I also have stopped allowing people's words to scare and/or hurt me. I keep telling myself that there are always going to be things I do not want to hear. But it is just words and I keep telling myself that. When people are voicing their opinions, I do not have to allow it to stress me out. Just because they have different views on things doesn't mean I have to agree with them or take it personally. This has made me so much stronger. Where once there was panic attacks, is now a peacefulness. Little did I know that anxiety is instilled in us as we are growing up. Whether it be a parent or another mentor, the way they handle stress is the way we think we should as adults. I want my children to be more laid back, less stressed about the little things, and not worry like I always did.
My therapist is the most un-opinionated therapist that I was ever to. I love that she listens, points things out, and understands. I feel a great connection with her because she is allowing me to find out who I am without making me feel I should be a certain way. I love that she wants me to continue to be ME. She is always addressing the positivity in my life, how far I have come, and how I continue to heal myself every day. She is not there to tell me if I am wrong or right. She agrees that we all make the right decision for ourselves and we should not allow outside influences to alter our choices.
I left feeling even more peaceful and more confident. I love who I am, whether or not everyone else does....I really do not care. This Amy Grant song sums it up for me:
All I Ever Have To Be
When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.
But I'm still hurting,
Wondering if Ill ever be
The one I think I am.
I think I am.
Then you gently re-remind me
That you've made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.
And I realize the good in me,
Is only there because of who you are.
Who you are...
And all I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.
As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.
And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
What I am thankful for today:
therapy
Amy Grant
my children
jumping on the trampoline last night with the kids
the power heal ourselves
the power to believe
faith
courage
Melinda
sleeping until 9am this morning with Makenna
people who are so willing to help others without expecting anything in return
a wonderful night's sleep last night
being down 17 lbs!!
garlic bread
a beautiful day today
laughter
smiles
I now truly believe that we are able to heal ourselves; spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. I have always looked for someone to fix me. Whether it be a doctor, a therapist, a friend, a lover. I never knew that we could heal on our own. No pill or relationship will fix me. All it does is mask the issues. Now I am willing to do what it takes to heal on my own. In the last few months I have come a very long way. Where once I would run from confrontation, I now face it. I have completely changed the way I communicate. This is a big step for me. I also have stopped allowing people's words to scare and/or hurt me. I keep telling myself that there are always going to be things I do not want to hear. But it is just words and I keep telling myself that. When people are voicing their opinions, I do not have to allow it to stress me out. Just because they have different views on things doesn't mean I have to agree with them or take it personally. This has made me so much stronger. Where once there was panic attacks, is now a peacefulness. Little did I know that anxiety is instilled in us as we are growing up. Whether it be a parent or another mentor, the way they handle stress is the way we think we should as adults. I want my children to be more laid back, less stressed about the little things, and not worry like I always did.
My therapist is the most un-opinionated therapist that I was ever to. I love that she listens, points things out, and understands. I feel a great connection with her because she is allowing me to find out who I am without making me feel I should be a certain way. I love that she wants me to continue to be ME. She is always addressing the positivity in my life, how far I have come, and how I continue to heal myself every day. She is not there to tell me if I am wrong or right. She agrees that we all make the right decision for ourselves and we should not allow outside influences to alter our choices.
I left feeling even more peaceful and more confident. I love who I am, whether or not everyone else does....I really do not care. This Amy Grant song sums it up for me:
All I Ever Have To Be
When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of health and hope
Have all been nicely said.
But I'm still hurting,
Wondering if Ill ever be
The one I think I am.
I think I am.
Then you gently re-remind me
That you've made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.
And I realize the good in me,
Is only there because of who you are.
Who you are...
And all I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.
As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.
And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
What I am thankful for today:
therapy
Amy Grant
my children
jumping on the trampoline last night with the kids
the power heal ourselves
the power to believe
faith
courage
Melinda
sleeping until 9am this morning with Makenna
people who are so willing to help others without expecting anything in return
a wonderful night's sleep last night
being down 17 lbs!!
garlic bread
a beautiful day today
laughter
smiles
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Live and Learn
This is the quote I received today from Belief.net:
Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Every day, I try to learn... whether it be from my children, my friends, things I read and so on. The knowledge we can learn is unlimited. This is why I try to keep an open mind. There are so many out there who are close minded and do not allow room for new information and new possibilities. The possibilities for us are endless. I feel that I now live my life using all the past experiences I have learned. However, I do not allow my past experiences to control how I live. Does that make sense? You live by experience but you also learn by experience. I have no regrets from my past decisions and feel that I have learned a lot from them. A very wise person recently said to me, "You must stand up for what you believe in, no matter what anyone else thinks." I have noticed in the past that I have allowed outsiders interfere with my decisions in life. I cared way too much what others would think or say. Now I finally feel strong enough to not allow outsiders affect my decisions. Maybe this is because I am a stronger person, and I have been trying to live as if each day was my last. Life is seriously too short to worry about what others think. When I feel the brunt of someones criticism, I just tell myself that they will get over it and this is my life. If I feel that I am making the right decisions, who has the right to tell me otherwise? They are not able to get inside of me to see and feel what makes me happy. I am just going to live every day as if it was my last. If I am happy then those around me will be happy. And, hopefully those who do not understand my decisions will eventually be able to embrace my happiness as well.
What I am thankful for today:
support from those who care about me
the ability to not allow others opinions to control my decisions
my awesome kids
spending time with Jamie on Saturday night
seeing Annie on Monday
Makenna doing the 'newest' Electric Slide yesterday...LOL!
my new dress for Tanya's wedding (thank you Diane and Jenny for the Kohl's gift card!)
the entire day with my kids today
therapy tomorrow
my overabundance of time and energy
visits from Mimi and Pop-Pop (who I know are helping to guide me throughout my life)
my new Premier earrings from Beth's show!!
Gavin and Makenna's silly faces
each and every new day
Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Every day, I try to learn... whether it be from my children, my friends, things I read and so on. The knowledge we can learn is unlimited. This is why I try to keep an open mind. There are so many out there who are close minded and do not allow room for new information and new possibilities. The possibilities for us are endless. I feel that I now live my life using all the past experiences I have learned. However, I do not allow my past experiences to control how I live. Does that make sense? You live by experience but you also learn by experience. I have no regrets from my past decisions and feel that I have learned a lot from them. A very wise person recently said to me, "You must stand up for what you believe in, no matter what anyone else thinks." I have noticed in the past that I have allowed outsiders interfere with my decisions in life. I cared way too much what others would think or say. Now I finally feel strong enough to not allow outsiders affect my decisions. Maybe this is because I am a stronger person, and I have been trying to live as if each day was my last. Life is seriously too short to worry about what others think. When I feel the brunt of someones criticism, I just tell myself that they will get over it and this is my life. If I feel that I am making the right decisions, who has the right to tell me otherwise? They are not able to get inside of me to see and feel what makes me happy. I am just going to live every day as if it was my last. If I am happy then those around me will be happy. And, hopefully those who do not understand my decisions will eventually be able to embrace my happiness as well.
What I am thankful for today:
support from those who care about me
the ability to not allow others opinions to control my decisions
my awesome kids
spending time with Jamie on Saturday night
seeing Annie on Monday
Makenna doing the 'newest' Electric Slide yesterday...LOL!
my new dress for Tanya's wedding (thank you Diane and Jenny for the Kohl's gift card!)
the entire day with my kids today
therapy tomorrow
my overabundance of time and energy
visits from Mimi and Pop-Pop (who I know are helping to guide me throughout my life)
my new Premier earrings from Beth's show!!
Gavin and Makenna's silly faces
each and every new day
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Believe
Today's Daily Teaching:
There are two kinds of people:
Those who say, "I will believe it when I see it."
And those who say, "To see it, I know I must believe it."
I can be honest in saying that I totally used to be the first of the two. And, I hear people say this all the time. Living The Secret, I know we must believe in order to see.
Being that my life is crazy right now and I have to feel the brunt of judgement from others, I was stuck not seeing a way out of this. Why is it that people think they know how we should live our lives? Why do they have to even judge at all? No, not everyone needs to agree with how others live. However, we all need to keep that to ourselves and let them go about their business. Enough venting. Every night when I write in my Gratitude Book I write something to the affect that I am thankful for seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I am thankful for people allowing me to live my life without placing judgement on me. I am thankful that I do not allow other people's opinions affect my decisions. I am thankful for my peaceful mind, body, and spirit. I am thankful that people's judgement will not bother me.
Although I may not completely feel these things now, I believe they will come. I believe that we create our lives with what we believe in. Faith comes into play here too and this is why I pray for faith to pursue what I believe in every night. I pray that God leads me in the direction I need to go. So far he has not steered me wrong. I love the person I am now and I could never say that before. If others do not like me for who I am, it is there problem and it will not affect me.
In therapy it was brought to my attention that I am at a place in my life where I actually know what I want and will go after it. I am healing every day from the turmoil of my past experiences which at one time I kept buried deep within. Yes it is hard to resurface issues and open old wounds. I firmly believe to heal we need to do this. With the support of my friends who have proven to me that no matter what, they are by my side...not placing judgement, not criticizing.....I will get through everything that is ahead of me. I will get through what I need to and live my life to the fullest. This I truly believe.
What I am thankful for today:
The following friends for loving me enough to let me live my life the best I know how and still supporting me in every way. I love you guys!
Jamie
Diane
Jenny
Rachel
Heather
Jen
Buffy
Melinda
Sally
Tricia
Shawn
Todd
Rudy
Bob
Brian
Mike
Missy
Kirsten
Rita
Annie
Kathy
Denise
Judy
Kate
Cheryl
I am also thankful for:
Amy Grant's Time Again Concert DVD which I have been watching all day as an inspiration.
Her book which let me know that her life was not too far off mine.
The Daily Teachings
August Classes
my new side-walk sign for the store!! Thank you HEATHER!
Playing Wii with Makenna, Gavin and Jenny last night.
the sunshine today
getting things done
Makenna climbing in bed with me every night and wrapping her arms around my neck.
Gavin and Makenna singing (loudly) the Daughtry CD in my car last night.
getting into a size Medium!!!!
the piece of jewelry Shawn made me for my birthday.
Knowing that I can 'lay down my burden and God will carry me' ~Amy Grant
The Healing Place
my life
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