Free Therapy.....The Best Kind

Last night I was lucky enough to get a free therapy session from my neighbor Rudy. I have a few in my life who have experienced lots of life lessons and he is one of them. I value his philosophy on life and I enjoy hearing it, especially while eating chocolate pudding pie.....LOL! Thank you for the pie Diane! Rudy has been married 4 times. I guess it just takes some of us longer than others to get to the right person. He feels like I do, you have to go through these experiences to get to where you want to be. Do I look down on him or being married 4 times, absolutely not. Who am I to judge the decisions he has made. All I know is that he is now completely happy in his life and that is all that matters. As we all know that when one is happy, they make everyone around them happy as well.

What I learned from his talk last night was that I need to stand up for myself. I also need to stand up for what I believe in. I believe in happiness and I believe that we all need to fill ourselves up in order to spread our happiness to others. I was under the assumption that filling ourselves up was selfish. This is why I spent my entire life so far trying to make others happy while feeling very empty inside. I gave all I had until I ended up with nothing and in a depression. Then of course almost everyone left my side because I had nothing left to give..... except for my true friends.

Right now, I am going to concentrate on myself. With no commitments, no obligations, no promises to anyone but myself. This is the first time I am able to say that I am completely fine with being alone. It is the first time that I am free of fear, free of insecurity and can feel complete by myself. I will be so much more ready to face any relationship that comes my way. And I know that I have a wonderful life in store for me. And, whoever ends up by my side through life will feel that happiness and positivity that I now feel. Nothing is more wonderful than being able to spread your joy. However, we HAVE to feel it inside ourselves.....first.

What I am thankful for today:
Rudy
Diane
my free therapy session last night
Crop for a Cure today!!
chocolate pudding pie
Redi-Whip
long talks
my health
my happiness
the happiness of my family & friends
music
creative people
intelligent people
open mindedness
freedom
my courage
my faith

Fear & Depression

My daily teaching today is: When you are afraid of something happening, by law you attract it, although fortunately it takes real focus and persistent fear to bring it to you. The amount of emotion you invest in not wanting something to happen is powerful. At the same time it is also impossible to bring what you want when you hold so much fear about the outcome you don't want.

Remove your personal investment of fear from what you don't want to happen, and now use that powerful energy and direct it to what you want.

No matter what you have been thinking or feeling, your power to create something new is NOW.

Well, it is time to get rid of any fear I have, huh? As I think about it I am so not fearful of anything right now. I know that God has a wonderful life in store for me. All I need to do is keep the faith and believe. I liked this teaching and wanted to share it since we all know what it is like to have fear.

A perfect example of this happening is my friend Shawn. For the past couple of months he has been very fearful of his health and his depression. Although his intentions are good in wanting to get better, his fear took over. He is depressed again and suffering very badly from it. Thankfully he has me to understand what he is going through and he still continues to call me even though he is avoiding all of his other friends. I am the only one who doesn't judge him, criticize him, or put him down. And, because he feeds off my positive energy he does feel like a new person when he is done talking to me. However, this is something that he needs to go to his doctor for. It will not bother me if I have to drag him there. I know he wants to be better and I know all he needs is support from someone who understands. And, I also know that he will not be angry with me because he knows that I will only do what is best for him.

My take on all of this is to turn your fear into positive thoughts. Or, say a prayer and ask God to relieve you of your fears and fill you up with positive thoughts. It has worked for me.

What I am thankful for today:
My full class going on as I write
the ladies laughing
my surprise party last night (thank you ladies!)
Carvel ice cream cake
my busy weekend
my friends
creativity
positive influences
laughing so hard that my stomach hurts
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Dvd's
my courage
my strength
Heat Miser (HA HA HA!)
the birthday presents from my friends
my children
time to scrapbook on Saturday with my gals
Diane for watching Makenna for a little yesterday while I ran PartyLite books around town.
PartyLite

It's My Life

Through Diane this morning..LOL...the song "It's My life" was mentioned to me. Lately I have been feeling like I have to prove myself to people. I have been feeling the weight of being judged, which was the reason for my last blog. I try to keep in mind that this is a problem that other people have within themselves and that they are the ones who have to learn to deal with it. If it wasn't for therapy I would have never realized that. We are who we are and not everyone has to agree with us and the direction we take in life. Knowing that in The Secret it states that we all make the proper decisions for ourselves (cannot mention that quote enough lately) there will still be those opinionated people who have to put in their two cents. It is how we chose to deal with it that makes a difference. For the past couple of days, I have been stuck with this weight laying heavy on my heart and having a hard time letting go of it. So, last night I chose to write in my Gratitude Book then I said a prayer. I prayed that God will relieve me of this burden. I prayed that he will lead me in the direction of my dreams, a life that is perfect for me and my children. I prayed that he surrounds me with people who support me whether or not they agree with my decisions. I prayed that I feel a balance of energy and am overflowed with positive thoughts and energy. Most of the times I fall asleep in the middle of praying but last night I managed to get it all out. I know I needed it. Today, I woke up feeling much better and feeling less heaviness on my heart. God will walk me through life as long as I allow him too. I can make no mistakes for nothing is a mistake...everything happens for a reason. This is MY life and the only one who can live it is me.

It's My Life By Bon Jovi

This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
No silent prayer for the faith departed
And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky, gotta make your own breaks

It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

You better stand tall
When they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break
Baby, don't back down

It's my life
It's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life!

What I am thankful for today:
Diane
feeling better today
the power of prayer
rain
my new Partylite catalogs
getting together with the girls tonight
Jamie
Jenny
Shawn
Jen
Heather
Buffy
Melinda
my children
getting the Scrapping the Music Challenge done yesterday
Thursday night's class being full
the messages we get through music
a great night's sleep last night
a great day today!

Nickelback & A Great Quote

AHHHH! I am so excited! The Scrapping the Music Challenge this week is a NICKELBACK SONG!!! WHOO HOOO!!!!! And, the song (If Today Was Your Last Day) is one of my favorites considering its inspirational words and meaning! Nickelback sang this song at their concert in which was one of the best times of my life! I cannot wait to get to the store tomorrow and start pondering ideas for my layout.

In recent weeks my life has had some major twists and turns. No worries, everything was good. My quote for my life at this point is: Everything happens as it is supposed to, there are no accidents, and we are where we are supposed to be.

Believe it or not, I found it on facebook. I always used to worry about what other people would say, think, or how they would judge me. After reading the Secret, I know that those who judge people only bring more judgement onto them. No one can understand how each individual person feels inside and no one may ever understand the choices they make. But it isn't up to us to decide what is best for another person. We all have our own experiences and we all handle them differently. This is not to be judged because all of us have different opinions. Keep in mind that we always make the best choices for ourselves whether it feels wrong or right. It will get us to where we need to be in life whether others agree with it or not. Personally at almost 36 years old, I will follow my heart, using my head, and get to where I want to be. I appreciate concerns of others but appreciate support even more. Those who do not agree will get over it. I know I have lots of awesome things in store for my future. How I get there, doesn't really matter. "Against the grain should be the way of life, what's worth the prize is always worth the fight" lyrics from the If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback. Those who are still by my side when my dreams are achieved are my true cheerleaders of life.

What I am thankful for today:
Nickelback
inspirational quotes and music
homemade blueberry pie
my friends
my family
Zachary being so well behaved this weekend
Diane
Jenny
Jamie
Jen
Buffy
(Just a few of my cheerleaders...LOL!)
the kids laughter
being able to run 3/4 mile now
compliments on my biceps...LOL! Man did I blush...and drop things.
the kids singing in the car
getting 4 loads of laundry done today so far
English Muffin pizzas (lunch today)
love bugs and healthy side affects..LOL! (HA HA Diane!)
hats for bad hair days
an awesome future for me and my kids
each and every new day

True Inspiration and My Neighbors

Today is a great day. Never did I think that I would affect someone they way I have by spreading the news of The Secret. I have been blogging about my friend Shawn lately who suffers from depression. Not only did The Secret bring him into my life but it enabled me to bring so much positivity into his life. In therapy today his therapist told him that for the first time she sees him have hope. When she mentioned that, he told her that no therapist has ever seen that in him. He told her that he has been hanging around with a very positive person and that they have made him open his eyes to a new way of thinking. Then he said he is not sure why after years of trying to improve himself that with no effort he is getting better. I simply said it is because something clicked and it was the right time for him. (Same thing happened to me.) I cried, without him knowing, because I am overwhelmed not knowing how to handle the fact that I ...little ole me......has had such a drastic impact on his life. He is completely changing everything in his life for the better because of me. How am I supposed to handle that? I am happier than I have ever been. All I wanted was to be able to touch people's lives with The Secret, I had no idea I would affect certain ones this way. I can now hear the smile in his voice when he calls me, instead of the pain I once heard. Shawn's therapist mentioned the book The Secret to him in hopes that he reads it. He made sure that she knew he already has the book but has yet to be able to read it. Shawn honestly wants to get better and I can feel that from him. It is what makes me stay by his side. He will overcome this and I am already proud of him for opening his eyes, his mind and his spirit to a whole new way of thinking. Which....will lead him to a whole new way of life.

On the phone with Diane, I cried to her...LOL! I told her that I came to a major realization today. Not many may know this but I really didn't want the house that Jeremy and I bought....the one we are in now. However, God brings things into our lives for the best whether we see it right away or not. I now know why God wanted me to live there. I honestly believe that Diane and Rudy were meant to be in my life. Between helping me and Jeremy out throughout the last 5 years and becoming my best friends, I could not see my life without them. They are both a huge blessing to me and my family. Of course as I am crying, telling Diane this, she is crying too. LOL! Funnily enough my Daily Teaching for today is:

If there was a particular house you wanted, or a particular relationship or job you wanted, and you didn't get it, the Universe is telling you that it was not good enough and did not match your dream. It is also telling you that it has something BETTER and more worthy of you.

Something better is coming....you're allowed to be excited!

Hmmmmm, coincidence....I think not!

What I am thankful for today:
My neighbors Diane and Rudy
Shawn and his open mind, his friendship, and his smile
my positive influence
alcohol being legal...LOL!
Maryann's 1st class tonight at my store
knowing that something good always comes out of something bad
my home
happy tears
knowing that I can make a huge difference in someone else's life
Jenn and Buffy for running the Kids Camp this week
Gavin who is currently cracking me up dancing to Nickelback
Makennna for making us laugh dancing to Pink right before
My Daily Teachings
jumping on the trampoline with Makenna and Melissa last night
then eating ice cream with Magic Shell...mmmmmmmmm
ice water
my run with Jenny tonight
my friends
laughter
love

Giving, Loving and Appreciating

I played the Memory Game on The Secret website. Here is the quote I got:

Wherever you go, whoever you meet, and whatever you do, give love and appreciation, because that is your true nature. How do you know it is your true nature? You feel so good when you are giving it!

People have asked me how I can give so much. I never was able to answer this question the way I wanted to. We all know how wonderful it feels to give. My parents have always been ones to give and I know I carry this trait from them. There was a time in my life where I felt I gave all I had to give to certain people because no matter what I did, I could not make them happy. Then I read The Secret and understand that we cannot be responsible for anyone's happiness other than our own. As an adult, I know that those who only take and do not ever give back are the ones who ruin our positivity. There are two different kind of needy people in the word...in my opinion. There are those who need so much and just take and take and take without wanting to improve themselves. Then there are those who are in need but will not except help or even ask for it.

At one time I had a friend who took all of my energy out of me. She used me completely, lied, stole from me, and only ever thought about herself. Because I was such a giver, I gave until I lost myself in our relationship. No matter what I did for her, she didn't appreciate anything AND she expected me to be there at all time. I now know the difference between a person in need and a needy person. My friend Shawn is a person in need. He will never ask for help and there are times I want to strangle him. He is so stubborn. Because he wants to better himself and he tells me all the time how much he appreciates me, I have no problems helping him.....when he lets me. Every morning during the week I am his wake up call. It is as if he is at a hotel. I call him every morning at 10:30am to make sure he didn't turn off his alarm. Is this something he has asked me to do...not at all. Being that I have been a depressed person and knowing that he still is one, I know how hard getting out of bed can be. If I can help him start his day with a phone call, then I am all for it. It takes no time or energy for me to do this. And, it feels so good to know that I can help out by doing something so simple for him. The best thing is that he appreciates the simple gesture and makes sure I am aware of that.

I completey believe that we are on earth to help each other, love each other, and appreciate each other. We are here to make each other's lives easier. Obviously if you are not receiving anything from another person and feeling like you are giving all you have, then you need to re-evaluate the relationship.

If you feel in your heart the gratification in giving and loving everyone around you....you will in return receive favors, apreciation and love.

What I am thankful for today:
the time to blog
an amazing Nickelback concert!
time with Jamie and her family last night
a beautiful day today
Sally and Jen's help at the Farmer's Market yesterday
Shawn surprising me with a copy of the Dave Matthews Band newest CD...LOVE IT!
Jenny
Diane
Jamie
compliments
smiles
Jenny and my heart to heart talk on the way to Camden (hee hee hee hee)
walking/running with Jenny tonight
energy
laughter
Grammy remembering everything last night
scooter races with the kids in the alley today
being able to have the windows open today
happiness

2 of My Bestest Friends

Let me start by saying that I LOVE my friends. Two that I am writing about today have been by my side for the last two years. (One has been longer but the friendship has gotten closer in the last 2 years.) At first we were not nearly as close since it obviously takes time to build a strong friendship.

First I want to express how blessed I am to have Diane. She has become my rock...no not a rock in my yard...LOL! To me, Diane is my strength when I feel weak. She is also my mentor when I am feeling stuck or in need of advice. Diane cries with me, laughs with me, and also gets angry WITH me....LOL! She has been a lot like my best friend Jamie. I am so thankful that Diane is right next door. If I am ever in need of a car, a babysitter, brown sugar, or anything...she is always offering to help. Diane also is a great listener. I always have said that God bring people into our lives for a reason. Diane and I have become so close over the past 2 years.

Jenny, well I have been going through withdraw from...LOL! I forgot how good it feels to spend time with her since we both have been so busy. We have not been able to walk or even have a conversation on the phone. Last night we made the time to go to the track at Stabler and walk/run. We ended up walking about 3.5 miles and only running .5...LOL! However, I have never been a runner and it has been a long time since Jenny ran. I felt pretty good. We had a great conversation (can you believe we were able to talk and run at the same time?). We laughed and talked about our childhoods. I called Jenny when I got home and we were on the phone until after midnight. We laughed so hard about silly stories and life in general. We both agreed that WE NEEDED THAT! I appreciate how motivated she makes me and how we can both take a crappy situation and laugh at it together. We definitely are good for each other. We always feel better and inspired after we have spent time together.

Both Jenny and Diane read me so well. They know when to cheer me up, give me advice or leave me alone. I love that they are so in tune with what I need. I hope that I return the friendship the same way. Neither of them take anything personally nor do I, if they are crabby. However, we never get crabby...right? LOL! I am so grateful that they both have become best friends of mine. Over time we have established such a wonderful friendships. True friends are angels here on earth....both Diane and Jenny are angels to me.

What I am thankful for today:
Diane
Jenny
Faith telling me she loved me for the 1st time yesterday
time with my children
a great walk/run last night
Jamie (my bestest friend in the world!)
Shawn (GOD he makes me laugh!)
Ya Ya's....(inside joke!)
the track at Stabler
laughter
a great, long conversation with Jenny last night
Diane having us over for dinner last night
my strength
my courage
the power to change my mood
my friends who know what I need and when I need it
a quiet house
Nickelback concert on Saturday!!
more time with Jenny
my classes tomorrow night
friendship
honesty
the sunshine
my energy
my health

4th of July and a Visit From Mimi

It was a very nice weekend this 4th of July holiday. We had a wonderful picnic with family and friends at my parents house. Makenna floated in the pool all day with the exception of the trips to the potty since she was swallowing a lot of water....LOL! I love those one piece floating bathing suits! My nephew was jumping in the pool all by himself and swimming under water. It is amazing to see the changes in the kids each summer. Their fears seem to go away and they get much more daring. My Uncle brought his amazing homemade Sweet and Sour Chicken with fresh pineapple....MMMMM! And of course my mom made her yearly 4th of July cheesecake. I tried a new beer for the first time. Normally beer is not for me. However I really enjoyed the Bud Light Lime. Very good! My Aunt brought her suitcase filled with fireworks for the kids. Makenna was very afraid of the sparklers because she is dealing with an issue of being afraid of fire right now. It is a long story....we know why she is afraid and we are dealing with it the best we can. If you had a chance to see the sunset that night, you know how amazing it was. It was a fuchsia pink and absolutely beautiful! I enjoyed my entire day off with my family.

Yesterday I enjoyed scrapbooking at my store with Diane. It was the first time I was able to scrapbook with her...now that she is out of the closet...LOL! We watched the movie The Wedding Date. It is a very cute, funny, romantic movie. I could watch it over and over again. Last night my family went to Perkasie to watch the fireworks with my mother-in-law and Bob. Perkasie has wonderful fireworks! The kids highly enjoyed themselves. When we were leaving the Perkasie Park, Makenna started yelling, "Mimi Mimi!" She was pointing behind us. I asked her what she was looking at and she kept saying, "Mimi Mimi!" My sister-in-law asked Makenna where Mimi was and she kept pointing. I looked at my mom and said, "Mimi is here and obviously was enjoying the fireworks with us." My mom said something to the effect of, "Mimi would not miss these for the world." It was a good 10 minutes before Makenna finally stopped saying MIMI! I knew that she was letting us know that my grandmother was with us. I hugged Makenna tightly as she has no clue how she was helping us to know that Mimi was with us.

What I am thankful for today:
visits from Mimi
my health
fireworks
time with family and friends
the sunflowers coming up in my front yard...they are HUGE!
the sunshine
the power of prayer
my parents pool
mom hosting 4th of July
She-She and her fireworks every year
another 4th of July with my Pappy
corn on the cob
fresh blueberries
mom's cheesecake
Uncle Gary's Sweet and Sour Chicken
Diane and Rudy allowing me to use their shop vac to clean out my car and their weed wacker this morning.
getting laundry done today
my day off this past Saturday
Nickleback concert this Saturday....WHOO HOO!
seeing Jamie's brother Michael this Sunday (coming home from Arizona for a visit!!)
my neighbor Diane for scrapbooking with me yesterday and being one of my bestest friends!
Shawn finally going to the doctor today...FINALLY!!!!!!
my kids
patience
understanding
honesty
friendship
laughter
Knowing that every decision we make is the correct decision for us whether it feels right or wrong. It will get us to where we really want to be. ~ The Secret