Today was such a good day! Makenna was feeling so much better by the early afternoon that Jen and I took her to The Center for Animal Health and Welfare. I love feeding the kittens! They meow like mad when they hear the cans being opened. We cleaned the rabbit cages which was funny because the one rabbit kept jumping back into his cage. Guess he didn't mind it being dirty. There have been lots of adoptions lately and it makes me so thrilled to know that these animals will have forever homes now. It is a bittersweet feeling though because we have established a bond with some of these cats and dogs. While I am happy that Alice and Birdy (two of my favorite felines) are still there, I know they would be happier in a home with someone who loves them. The thought of them leaving does make me sad though.
Tomorrow I am excited to teach a class at my store. It has been a while since I have taught one. I am highly looking forward to my Thankful Thursdays coming up in November. Jess Ballas has 9 people in her class so far!! I am so excited for her! Maybe some of them will stay for Jennifer's layout class!!??
Tomorrow night is what I am really looking forward too. I cannot wait to have most of my friends here with me at home. We are going to play games on the Wii and board games. Jennifer G is bringing calories in hopes that I go back to the gym with her this week...LOL! I have really missed going with Makenna being sick all week. Thankfully she is feeling better.
I am so thankful for my friends, so thankful for my furry friends and so thankful for my children. Makenna and I have had some wonderful bonding time this week. We read books, she helped me clean and cook, we played restaurant, and lots of other stuff. It was great! She really is a good kid, even when she isn't feeling well.
What I am thankful for today:
my friends....God am I lucky!
my kids
my pets
Birdy, Alice, Slipper, Ramona, Squeaky and all my other favorite felines
my health
chocolate
hot showers
fall
Makenna feeling better
Gavin getting good grades
quality time
my stationary bike (came in handy not being able to hit the gym)
an awesome weekend ahead
the parade
my classes
my customers
my store
heat
facebook
faith
loyalty
clean laundry
my home
my jeep
laughter
hope
love
music
Friday, October 22, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Healing Once Again
Just feeling like a huge scab was ripped off my life, I am preparing to heal once again. Why does life have to go the way it does sometimes? Why do we have to hurt others? Why do we have to be hurt? I know that we can only see our furture a few feet at a time. At this moment, I would like just one glimps of the entire picture. Maybe it would help me feel better, maybe it would give me more hope.
My mind and body got quickly pushed into protective mode. The one person I know would never hurt me, ended up feeling the brunt of my pain. It is like I am on Auto. I automaticly want to push people I care about away before they can hurt me. Shawn quickly reminded me that the fear of that is manifested in my own mind. He reminded me of how strong I am and how I chose to allow the hurt to continue or step on it like a scary spider and not allow it to get the best of me. While this is easier said than done, it is what I am going to try to do, squish it like the hairy, scary spider it is.
God is probably tired of hearing me cry and plead, "Take the pain away, keep me strong, give me the faith that I am lacking." In the middle of sobs I felt as though someone was hugging me, around my back. It was as if there were one or more presences trying to tell me I was not alone. While it made me feel a tiny bit better I was angry, sad, frustrated and still felt very alone. God was with me. I know he was. He was hearing me cry, he was trying to carry me through but I was too upset to let anything go. Here I am a couple of days later, feeling still the sting, but I feel better being reassured that I have tons of people who love and care about me. I have tons of people who would never hurt me, ever. It makes me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I may not have a clear path, but I am definitely ready to take on the challenges. My support is with me every step of the way. God bless my friends and Shawn for they are the glue that holds me together in times like these.
What I am thankful for today:
friends:
Heather
Jamie
Jen R
Erika
Jennifer G
Rachel
Melinda
Diane
Sally
Shelley
my children
Shawn
my health
my strength
creativity
God
hope
faith
the power of prayer
inspiration
laughter
a good time Saturday night
heat
chocolate
time
letting go
healing
energy
being able to run for 3 miles now
my jobs
animals
music
Amy Grant
my church
Linda (Jeremy's Mom)
forgiveness
positivity
love
My mind and body got quickly pushed into protective mode. The one person I know would never hurt me, ended up feeling the brunt of my pain. It is like I am on Auto. I automaticly want to push people I care about away before they can hurt me. Shawn quickly reminded me that the fear of that is manifested in my own mind. He reminded me of how strong I am and how I chose to allow the hurt to continue or step on it like a scary spider and not allow it to get the best of me. While this is easier said than done, it is what I am going to try to do, squish it like the hairy, scary spider it is.
God is probably tired of hearing me cry and plead, "Take the pain away, keep me strong, give me the faith that I am lacking." In the middle of sobs I felt as though someone was hugging me, around my back. It was as if there were one or more presences trying to tell me I was not alone. While it made me feel a tiny bit better I was angry, sad, frustrated and still felt very alone. God was with me. I know he was. He was hearing me cry, he was trying to carry me through but I was too upset to let anything go. Here I am a couple of days later, feeling still the sting, but I feel better being reassured that I have tons of people who love and care about me. I have tons of people who would never hurt me, ever. It makes me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I may not have a clear path, but I am definitely ready to take on the challenges. My support is with me every step of the way. God bless my friends and Shawn for they are the glue that holds me together in times like these.
What I am thankful for today:
friends:
Heather
Jamie
Jen R
Erika
Jennifer G
Rachel
Melinda
Diane
Sally
Shelley
my children
Shawn
my health
my strength
creativity
God
hope
faith
the power of prayer
inspiration
laughter
a good time Saturday night
heat
chocolate
time
letting go
healing
energy
being able to run for 3 miles now
my jobs
animals
music
Amy Grant
my church
Linda (Jeremy's Mom)
forgiveness
positivity
love
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Family, a Little Bragging, and Little Drops of Water
Today was a great day. I enjoyed being with Jeremy's family so much. Nana's funeral was nice, short and sweet. I feel that is how she would have wanted it. The luncheon was good. My mom helped me get everything out.....thank you mom! Linda's house had a lot of people in it! Nana was there hovering over the dessert trays...I could just feel her. LOL! I love that Jeremy's family still treats me like family. I feel like I will always be a huge part of my family. Linda let me pick out jewelry of Nana's, perfume, whatever I wanted. It really made me feel good that she included me in all of that. Wait until you see the ring I picked.....GORGEOUS!
I haven't bragged about Shawn lately so I am going to now. Ha Ha Ha! In the last two days he has been very huggy, holding my hands constantly, more affectionate that usual. He got up to go smoke a cigarette...something we are working on getting him away from, and I said "Why can't you be addicted to me, I am much more healthy." He smiled and said, "I am addicted, I admit it." Then when he dropped me off at home I asked him if he would be ok without me for an entire day...ya know being addicted and all, and he said, "Maybe for a few hours....but that is all." LOL! He came to visit me at the store on Sunday and surprised me with coffee. I didn't know he was even coming. He got the bird out the window...thank goodness......and told me twice in about 15 minutes that I was beautiful. Can you believe that I have known this man since 2nd grade? Can you believe that we started dating a year ago in July and he is still this way towards me? It is hard for me to digest since I am so used to things wearing off and dying down. It just confirms that we are great together. And that love can conquer all. Enough of the bragging....you are probably ready to puke now.
So, Erika and I have been pondering some awesome ideas. We are planning this fundraiser for Amanda Buss and I have been having major realizations. I realize my purpose in life.....my main purpose. I am definitely here to service people and do God's work but I have figured out in what way. I will continue to volunteer at the animal shelter but my main focus is organizing fundraisers. Erika and I are most likely going to do this together and anyone who wants to help can join us. We are looking into starting a non-profit organization, one that specializes in fundraisers. Of course we are keeping the store. Our name will be Little Drops of Water. And the story behind that is, at church on Sunday Pastor Tricia said that we have to picture ourselves as little drops of water. Each of us has a special talent that if we put our talents together we can make great things happen. So, all of us drops of water together can fill an entire bucket. If you would like to be a drop in our bucket, please let us know. You do not need to commit to every single fundraiser but can help out where you wish. We have yet to pick a date for the fundraiser but will keep you posted. Maybe you should take the time and write a list of all the things you enjoy doing and are good at. This will help you figure out how you can help us.
What I am thankful for today:
Jeremy's family
my mom
my family
my children
my pets
my friends
my church
the animal shelter
making my dreams come alive
the ability to help others
meditation
time
a good nights sleep
The Biggest Loser
getting my tooth fixed tomorrow
taking another aerobics class with Jennifer tomorrow
Nana being at peace
my home
my jeep
the ring Linda gave me
laughter
hope
money
friendship
patience
Shawn
my weight loss
love
I haven't bragged about Shawn lately so I am going to now. Ha Ha Ha! In the last two days he has been very huggy, holding my hands constantly, more affectionate that usual. He got up to go smoke a cigarette...something we are working on getting him away from, and I said "Why can't you be addicted to me, I am much more healthy." He smiled and said, "I am addicted, I admit it." Then when he dropped me off at home I asked him if he would be ok without me for an entire day...ya know being addicted and all, and he said, "Maybe for a few hours....but that is all." LOL! He came to visit me at the store on Sunday and surprised me with coffee. I didn't know he was even coming. He got the bird out the window...thank goodness......and told me twice in about 15 minutes that I was beautiful. Can you believe that I have known this man since 2nd grade? Can you believe that we started dating a year ago in July and he is still this way towards me? It is hard for me to digest since I am so used to things wearing off and dying down. It just confirms that we are great together. And that love can conquer all. Enough of the bragging....you are probably ready to puke now.
So, Erika and I have been pondering some awesome ideas. We are planning this fundraiser for Amanda Buss and I have been having major realizations. I realize my purpose in life.....my main purpose. I am definitely here to service people and do God's work but I have figured out in what way. I will continue to volunteer at the animal shelter but my main focus is organizing fundraisers. Erika and I are most likely going to do this together and anyone who wants to help can join us. We are looking into starting a non-profit organization, one that specializes in fundraisers. Of course we are keeping the store. Our name will be Little Drops of Water. And the story behind that is, at church on Sunday Pastor Tricia said that we have to picture ourselves as little drops of water. Each of us has a special talent that if we put our talents together we can make great things happen. So, all of us drops of water together can fill an entire bucket. If you would like to be a drop in our bucket, please let us know. You do not need to commit to every single fundraiser but can help out where you wish. We have yet to pick a date for the fundraiser but will keep you posted. Maybe you should take the time and write a list of all the things you enjoy doing and are good at. This will help you figure out how you can help us.
What I am thankful for today:
Jeremy's family
my mom
my family
my children
my pets
my friends
my church
the animal shelter
making my dreams come alive
the ability to help others
meditation
time
a good nights sleep
The Biggest Loser
getting my tooth fixed tomorrow
taking another aerobics class with Jennifer tomorrow
Nana being at peace
my home
my jeep
the ring Linda gave me
laughter
hope
money
friendship
patience
Shawn
my weight loss
love
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Ramblings for today
In my last posting I mentioned how exhausted I was...... Today I am emotionally exhausted. It took Linda and I 6 hours to create two picture boards for Nana's funeral. I came to work at 10am and worked until 9:30pm last night. I managed to get over 50 thank you post cards created before she got here at 3pm. So yes, I worked the entire time. The girls at my store and I are creating post cards to send out to the people who donate monetary gifts to The Center for Animal Health and Welfare. It takes a job off of them and allows us to be creative in helping them out.
Today, I have a bird in my store. He is nesting peacefully on the top of a wreath I have hanging ontop of the windows in my office. How the heck do I get him out? LOL! At least it is entertaining when he starts to fly around. Maryann said it is a gift I have, animals flock to me. May I remind people that I am not entirely a bird person??? LOL! I have my few choices that I like, Casey and Sunney....that is about it. They make me nervous.
Today, I feel blah. Linda and I cried last night together so my head hurts today. My spirit just doesn't feel right. Church was great this morning until they annouced their sympathy for Jeremy and my family. I balled....with no tissues....snot and tears everywhere. I wish I would have had more time to scrapbook with Nana. She just could not make it up my stairs. Because of mine and Linda's schedule it was hard for us to coordinate time for me to go down there and scrapbook. Maybe this is why I am so sad. I was really enjoying my time with her in the last year.
After I had heard of her passing, I prayed. You know me and my signs..... Of course I had asked Nana to show me a sign that she had crossed over and was ok. Within two hours of asking, she came through to me twice. Last night I told Linda that Nana was ok and how I knew. She tearfully thanked me for sharing that with her and was so grateful that Nana made it Home.
I am so blessed to have the gifts that God has given me. The gift to see signs from loved ones who have passed, connections to the spirit world, the feeling of spirits being with me. My grandfather seems to be the strongest. I feel him the most when I write. Like now....I know he is with me. It is this inner shaking, cold feeling that the biggest snowsuit would not make me warm. He promts me to write. He wants me to publish a book about my experiences with the spirit world. I am just not ready to tell the world of judgemental and critizing individuals. My strength to not care what they think has got to be hardened. I have come a long way. Lets just say that I know the people I can talk too and I am so thankful for them.
What I am thankful for today is:
my experiences with 'the other side'
God
the people God has surrounded me with
patience
time
healing
love
laughter
inner peace
my children
my pets
my friends
my store
my creativity
inspirations
hope
faith
music
family
the gift of writing
energy
my health
The Healing Place
Linda M
Linda B
knowing Nana is in a better place
The Farmers Market next Sunday
Shelley
Today, I have a bird in my store. He is nesting peacefully on the top of a wreath I have hanging ontop of the windows in my office. How the heck do I get him out? LOL! At least it is entertaining when he starts to fly around. Maryann said it is a gift I have, animals flock to me. May I remind people that I am not entirely a bird person??? LOL! I have my few choices that I like, Casey and Sunney....that is about it. They make me nervous.
Today, I feel blah. Linda and I cried last night together so my head hurts today. My spirit just doesn't feel right. Church was great this morning until they annouced their sympathy for Jeremy and my family. I balled....with no tissues....snot and tears everywhere. I wish I would have had more time to scrapbook with Nana. She just could not make it up my stairs. Because of mine and Linda's schedule it was hard for us to coordinate time for me to go down there and scrapbook. Maybe this is why I am so sad. I was really enjoying my time with her in the last year.
After I had heard of her passing, I prayed. You know me and my signs..... Of course I had asked Nana to show me a sign that she had crossed over and was ok. Within two hours of asking, she came through to me twice. Last night I told Linda that Nana was ok and how I knew. She tearfully thanked me for sharing that with her and was so grateful that Nana made it Home.
I am so blessed to have the gifts that God has given me. The gift to see signs from loved ones who have passed, connections to the spirit world, the feeling of spirits being with me. My grandfather seems to be the strongest. I feel him the most when I write. Like now....I know he is with me. It is this inner shaking, cold feeling that the biggest snowsuit would not make me warm. He promts me to write. He wants me to publish a book about my experiences with the spirit world. I am just not ready to tell the world of judgemental and critizing individuals. My strength to not care what they think has got to be hardened. I have come a long way. Lets just say that I know the people I can talk too and I am so thankful for them.
What I am thankful for today is:
my experiences with 'the other side'
God
the people God has surrounded me with
patience
time
healing
love
laughter
inner peace
my children
my pets
my friends
my store
my creativity
inspirations
hope
faith
music
family
the gift of writing
energy
my health
The Healing Place
Linda M
Linda B
knowing Nana is in a better place
The Farmers Market next Sunday
Shelley
Saturday, October 2, 2010
What is 'It'?
One word sums up how I am feeling right now, exhausted. Although I am thrilled that we managed to raise $1,340 for the New Jerusalem Fundraiser today, it was a lot of hard work. I am sure everyone who participated is feeling the same way. It was so worth it though. Shani and I were so blessed to have so many people help us. A huge thank you to everyone who was a part of the event. We could not have made it happen without you.
In talking Youth Group talk today with some members of the church and my mom, I came up with some solutions to my constant feeling of banging my head against the wall when it comes to getting everyone together. The kids do not want to learn any more bible verses, nor do they want to sit around and talk about God. Not that I believe that Youth Group is all about that, I think it is important to get together with reasons of learning Gods way. Right? Times have changed since my youth group and I want to keep up with the current trends of getting extremely busy kids together. However, it has been a struggle since day one. I get that kids learn about God through church, Sunday School, Confirmation Class, etc. So how does a Youth Leader be a Youth Leader without feeling that I am getting kids together for a play date?
The community service at The Center for Animal Health and Welfare was such a hit with those who went. The children worked because they wanted too. They experienced things they have never seen. They felt love like they have never felt. My mom pointed out to me that these kids were getting a message. My mom totally acknowledged what 'it' is all about. 'It' is about doing for others. 'It' is about doing service for others, helping others, making other's lives easier. 'It' is about living God's way and spreading it to others just as Jesus did. 'It' is coming together as a community, a whole, and preforming God's work. Now the answer to what 'it' is, is life.
So, while we may have fun outings going bowling, to Dorney Park, camping...etc, we will be engaging in a lot of other wonderful experiences subjecting the children to things they have never seen. We will be helping out at a local soup kitchen, donating items to Safe Harbor Homeless Shelter, engaging in fundraisers for various charities and getting these kids educated on life, all aspects of it and how we can all help. As these kids grow up, they will figure out what matters to them most and help in the area they feel the most passion for. Just as I feel the most passion for animals. This doesn't mean that I will not help with other charities or events, just that my passion is greatest for God's wonderful furry creatures.
My challenge for you is to do God's work at least once a day. Make someone elses life easier by lending a helping hand. Could be as easy as helping someone carry their groceries to lending someone $20. Could be just a smile offered to help cheer someone up. Let everyone see God shine through you. Show them what wonderful things He can do. Be the messenger and show everyone what 'it' is all about.
What I am thankful for today:
How awesome our fundraiser was
all the help we received
Shani
Erika
Maryann
my Mom
Jennifer G for her amazing baked goods!!!!
everyone who donated something
Cindy
Pauli
Charles
Kayla
my bed
my niece and nephew
my children
my pets
my friends
my family
my strength
my confidence
energy
sleep
my health
money
my Jeep
kindness
generosity
my church family
laughter
God
time
creativity
affection
my free oil change!! WHOO HOO!
PartyLite
Shawn (he is coming home tomorrow...YAY!)
Emma and Gunnar who just make my day
hope
faith
love
In talking Youth Group talk today with some members of the church and my mom, I came up with some solutions to my constant feeling of banging my head against the wall when it comes to getting everyone together. The kids do not want to learn any more bible verses, nor do they want to sit around and talk about God. Not that I believe that Youth Group is all about that, I think it is important to get together with reasons of learning Gods way. Right? Times have changed since my youth group and I want to keep up with the current trends of getting extremely busy kids together. However, it has been a struggle since day one. I get that kids learn about God through church, Sunday School, Confirmation Class, etc. So how does a Youth Leader be a Youth Leader without feeling that I am getting kids together for a play date?
The community service at The Center for Animal Health and Welfare was such a hit with those who went. The children worked because they wanted too. They experienced things they have never seen. They felt love like they have never felt. My mom pointed out to me that these kids were getting a message. My mom totally acknowledged what 'it' is all about. 'It' is about doing for others. 'It' is about doing service for others, helping others, making other's lives easier. 'It' is about living God's way and spreading it to others just as Jesus did. 'It' is coming together as a community, a whole, and preforming God's work. Now the answer to what 'it' is, is life.
So, while we may have fun outings going bowling, to Dorney Park, camping...etc, we will be engaging in a lot of other wonderful experiences subjecting the children to things they have never seen. We will be helping out at a local soup kitchen, donating items to Safe Harbor Homeless Shelter, engaging in fundraisers for various charities and getting these kids educated on life, all aspects of it and how we can all help. As these kids grow up, they will figure out what matters to them most and help in the area they feel the most passion for. Just as I feel the most passion for animals. This doesn't mean that I will not help with other charities or events, just that my passion is greatest for God's wonderful furry creatures.
My challenge for you is to do God's work at least once a day. Make someone elses life easier by lending a helping hand. Could be as easy as helping someone carry their groceries to lending someone $20. Could be just a smile offered to help cheer someone up. Let everyone see God shine through you. Show them what wonderful things He can do. Be the messenger and show everyone what 'it' is all about.
What I am thankful for today:
How awesome our fundraiser was
all the help we received
Shani
Erika
Maryann
my Mom
Jennifer G for her amazing baked goods!!!!
everyone who donated something
Cindy
Pauli
Charles
Kayla
my bed
my niece and nephew
my children
my pets
my friends
my family
my strength
my confidence
energy
sleep
my health
money
my Jeep
kindness
generosity
my church family
laughter
God
time
creativity
affection
my free oil change!! WHOO HOO!
PartyLite
Shawn (he is coming home tomorrow...YAY!)
Emma and Gunnar who just make my day
hope
faith
love
Friday, October 1, 2010
Ramblings for today
I am very excited about the fundraiser tomorrow. Shani and I worked hard at the church and Erika and I worked hard in the rain. Erika and I loaded the cars yesterday in the pouring rain. I know, what were we thinking? At least it got done. Hopefully we have a great turn out. We have over 65 baskets!
Tonight I am missing my man. He decided to go on a fishing/kayaking/camping trip up in the Promise Land near the Poconos. So, I am watching Ghost Adventures all by myself. I tried to get Gavin into it and he cannot get over his fear of the unknown. Shawn and I have our shows that we watch late at night...when we can. Watching it without him is just weird. I am so glad he had the chance to go away. All summer he was upset at his lack of liesure activities. He was able to get two of his friends to go with him and go for an entire weekend. He called me tonight to tell me that he was all set up, ate some good burgers on the fire, and is excited about kayaking all day tomorrow. He really needed this. And, it makes us appreciate each other even more. Absence does make the heart grow fonder....even when you think you can't get any fonder of someone.
Tonight I am praying for all those people who had their basement flooded because of all the rain. Although the rain was well needed, it didn't need to ruin houses and people's important stuff. May they get everything cleaned out soon and prepare themselves for future flood issues.
Despite my crazy day of rain, kids, getting the church ready for tomorrow, cleaning out a hoarders car (ask me later), dinner with my brother and his kids, then a sleep over with my niece and nephew....it was a pretty good day. I am glad it is over though. It is all in your attitude. Smile through the tears, dance in the rain, laugh a lot, don't sweat the small stuff, eat some chocolate and all will be fine at the end of the day.
What I am thankful for today:
time I get to spend with Shawn (even if it isn't much)
my children
my friends
my family
my church
sleep overs
Italian hogies
a great day tomorrow
sleep
a dry basement
fall
laughter
a sign from Mimi today
The Center for Animal Health and Welfare
Amy Grant
memories
smiles
hope
mums
love
free massages
hugs
kisses
my store
my furry friends
my pets
my man
Tonight I am missing my man. He decided to go on a fishing/kayaking/camping trip up in the Promise Land near the Poconos. So, I am watching Ghost Adventures all by myself. I tried to get Gavin into it and he cannot get over his fear of the unknown. Shawn and I have our shows that we watch late at night...when we can. Watching it without him is just weird. I am so glad he had the chance to go away. All summer he was upset at his lack of liesure activities. He was able to get two of his friends to go with him and go for an entire weekend. He called me tonight to tell me that he was all set up, ate some good burgers on the fire, and is excited about kayaking all day tomorrow. He really needed this. And, it makes us appreciate each other even more. Absence does make the heart grow fonder....even when you think you can't get any fonder of someone.
Tonight I am praying for all those people who had their basement flooded because of all the rain. Although the rain was well needed, it didn't need to ruin houses and people's important stuff. May they get everything cleaned out soon and prepare themselves for future flood issues.
Despite my crazy day of rain, kids, getting the church ready for tomorrow, cleaning out a hoarders car (ask me later), dinner with my brother and his kids, then a sleep over with my niece and nephew....it was a pretty good day. I am glad it is over though. It is all in your attitude. Smile through the tears, dance in the rain, laugh a lot, don't sweat the small stuff, eat some chocolate and all will be fine at the end of the day.
What I am thankful for today:
time I get to spend with Shawn (even if it isn't much)
my children
my friends
my family
my church
sleep overs
Italian hogies
a great day tomorrow
sleep
a dry basement
fall
laughter
a sign from Mimi today
The Center for Animal Health and Welfare
Amy Grant
memories
smiles
hope
mums
love
free massages
hugs
kisses
my store
my furry friends
my pets
my man
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