I am coming off of a very busy week. Both kids were sick which put a change of events in the works. However, both are much better now and I stayed healthy!! Whoo hoo!
Melinda's Nan is still hanging on. Like I had said there may be some unfinished business there. Just knowing how ill she was last week has us all stumped. No one knows how long she will be with us and are just enjoying each moment we have with her.
Lots of awesome opportunities arrose at work. I will be starting to teach classes at the Hellertown Library in December. And, shortly after that, I will teaching classes at Saucon Manor right down the street from my home. Business is picking up and my classes are getting much fuller. I have met so many new wonderful people in the last few weeks. It makes me laugh to know that these woman think they are not good at their crafting when in reality they are very very good at it! I have had some beginners. When I say beginners...I mean, all they own is pictures...LOL! Yesterday I enjoyed helping them start their new hobby.
A wonderful customer of mine, Kathryn, will start teaching classes in my store in December. She has been such a wonderful supporter to me and my business. PMS Day is very popular with the ladies and each month seems to get fuller. A woman Michelle who was referred by another one of my awesome customers, will be coming to talk to me about the possibilty of teaching photography classes at my store. Her work is very similar to Sabotta Imagery. Jeff has been extremely busy and unable to teach classes for me. But I am so thrilled that he is as busy as he is doing something he loves.
Life at home is good, life at work is good. I cannot stop thinking about all that I have to be thankful for. I think for the first time in my life, I absolutely love who I am and who I am becoming. (No not in a concieted way....LOL!) That catapillar that once thought she was ugly inside and out is finally evolving into that butterfly she has always wanted to be. A huge thank you goes out to everyone who continues to love and support me. Thank you for being my inspiration, my rocks to lean on, the arms I can run to when in need of a hug, the smiles I need when I am feeling down, and the glue that helps hold me together. Life is good but it is because of you that helps make it and keep it that way.
What I am thankful for today..
my friends
my teachers
my customers
this beautiful day
creativity
nature
my children
my pets
the health of me and my loved ones
the sunshine
pancakes (thank you Jer for making them this morning!)
the time I had with my kids this past week
laughing so hard my stomach hurts
Shawn
Rachel and her sarcasm
Diane for being the best neighbor and friend!
Jamie...thank you for coming over Friday!
All the time I get to spend with Jen
lunch with mom
my store
time alone
new opportunities
appreciation
loyalty
kindness
selflessness
love
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Letting Go of the Ones We Love
Today ended up being a very different day than I had expected. I called it, Spontaneous and Emotional. Nothing was planned, and what I did do was a very emotional thing. Being on the phone with one of my best friends who is in the process of losing her grandmother, I found myself wanting to reach out in a way I never thought I could. Melinda and I have seen each other through so much in the last 14 years. We have seen each other in many different lights. When my grandmother passed away, I was not in the same place as Melinda is watching her grandmother through the dying process. I was selfish. I felt bad for the suffering that Mimi was experiencing, but I could not get past the suffering that I felt in order to let her go. The emptiness that I had feared since I was a child, was becoming a very unwanted reality.
A family member of Melinda's is feeling very similar to how I did. While Melinda is at peace with this and praying for her grandmother to go home and be at peace, this family member is scared for what lies ahead after Nan's passing. After I opened up to Melinda about my feelings when Mimi passed away, we both agreed that it would be very beneficial for me to have a talk with her Aunt. Going to Nan's house today was very emotional to me. I had no idea what she was going to look like, nor did I want to remember her at such an ill state. When I saw her laying in her bed, she looked so peaceful. I looked at her and told her that she already looked like an angel. My heart felt peaceful.
I had a chance to stand next to Nan and rub my fingers over her forehead. She opened her eyes and said to me, "I just want to go home. I want to die." Tears streamed down her face as I felt that huge lump in my throat. I told her that she needed to pray and ask God to take her home. I also told her that we were all praying for her as well. While Melinda was by her side I took a walk whith her Aunt. When asking if she was ok, she answered that she was now but did not know how she would be once Nan was gone. My only way of explaining my own selfishness to Melinda's Aunt was to say that, "When we revolve our lives around one single person for so many years, it is almost impossible to even think of them leaving." Knowing that I told myself as a child that Mimi would never leave me, Melinda's Aunt admitted to me that she never pictured her life without her mom. It is a huge transition in our lives. Neither Melinda's Aunt nor I wanted to see our loved ones suffer at all. It is just a matter of not knowing how to stop our own pain and not knowing if we ever will.
Our talk went well. I know it was as beneficial to me as it hopefully was to Melinda's Aunt. It is ok to be selfish, angry, frustrated...and so on. God will forgive us, even if we feel angry at him. Nan asked Melinda's Aunt to stay by her side. So, I told her to go be there and embrace each moment she has left with her. Tell her the things that she feels because I had always regretted not telling Mimi all the things I had wanted to say. I tell Mimi now...in fact she is the one I talk to most. She was my best friend and continues to be. And unlike the few years after her death, I have healed from the loss of Mimi. I know Melinda's Aunt will as well. It takes time, prayer and support from those who love you.
I am deeply grateful that I had the chance to know Nan for the last 14 years. I am thankful that she was an inspiration to me and all those who surounded her. I honor her faith and her strength and her belief in God. I pray tonight that Nan passes in peace and isn't holding on because she is afraid to leave Melinda's Aunt behind. I am eternally grateful for the chance to tell Nan good-bye and that I loved her. She has always treated me like a part of her family and because of that, I am truly blessed.
A family member of Melinda's is feeling very similar to how I did. While Melinda is at peace with this and praying for her grandmother to go home and be at peace, this family member is scared for what lies ahead after Nan's passing. After I opened up to Melinda about my feelings when Mimi passed away, we both agreed that it would be very beneficial for me to have a talk with her Aunt. Going to Nan's house today was very emotional to me. I had no idea what she was going to look like, nor did I want to remember her at such an ill state. When I saw her laying in her bed, she looked so peaceful. I looked at her and told her that she already looked like an angel. My heart felt peaceful.
I had a chance to stand next to Nan and rub my fingers over her forehead. She opened her eyes and said to me, "I just want to go home. I want to die." Tears streamed down her face as I felt that huge lump in my throat. I told her that she needed to pray and ask God to take her home. I also told her that we were all praying for her as well. While Melinda was by her side I took a walk whith her Aunt. When asking if she was ok, she answered that she was now but did not know how she would be once Nan was gone. My only way of explaining my own selfishness to Melinda's Aunt was to say that, "When we revolve our lives around one single person for so many years, it is almost impossible to even think of them leaving." Knowing that I told myself as a child that Mimi would never leave me, Melinda's Aunt admitted to me that she never pictured her life without her mom. It is a huge transition in our lives. Neither Melinda's Aunt nor I wanted to see our loved ones suffer at all. It is just a matter of not knowing how to stop our own pain and not knowing if we ever will.
Our talk went well. I know it was as beneficial to me as it hopefully was to Melinda's Aunt. It is ok to be selfish, angry, frustrated...and so on. God will forgive us, even if we feel angry at him. Nan asked Melinda's Aunt to stay by her side. So, I told her to go be there and embrace each moment she has left with her. Tell her the things that she feels because I had always regretted not telling Mimi all the things I had wanted to say. I tell Mimi now...in fact she is the one I talk to most. She was my best friend and continues to be. And unlike the few years after her death, I have healed from the loss of Mimi. I know Melinda's Aunt will as well. It takes time, prayer and support from those who love you.
I am deeply grateful that I had the chance to know Nan for the last 14 years. I am thankful that she was an inspiration to me and all those who surounded her. I honor her faith and her strength and her belief in God. I pray tonight that Nan passes in peace and isn't holding on because she is afraid to leave Melinda's Aunt behind. I am eternally grateful for the chance to tell Nan good-bye and that I loved her. She has always treated me like a part of her family and because of that, I am truly blessed.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Unconditional Love
Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs.
Do you know that besides God there are only two beings that know how to give unconditional love to it's fullest? Any ideas? It is our pets and our children. We can lock our pets outside without food and water for a week and they will still love us. We can smack them on the but with a newspaper when they pee on the floor...and they still love us. We can go months without paying any attention to our pets, and yet they still come running when we come in the door, they still sleep at our feet at night, they still show affection.
Same goes with children. A friend of mine is a social worker and used to tell me stories of her times going into homes to take away babies and pets from abused homes. These babies are beaten, neglected, malnurished by their parents and yet, they still want to be held by them and they still love them.
As I get older, I now finally at 36 years of age, know what unconditional love means. For me, it is taking the good and the bad of a person and loving them anyway. It is looking past their flaws and embracing the good in them. It is standing by their side through any given situation whether you believe it is wrong or right. It is the understanding that when we have a problem with someone else, it is actually an issue with ourselves. Once we realize that we can let go of the opinions and learn how to deal with people and situations much better. Not everyone is going to like everything about a person. Thanks to Heather not only did she point this out but she also made sure that I knew it is ok. It is how we deal with what we do not like about that person that matters.
There are 4 families that after being around them for over 15 years, I can see the uncontional love they have for one another....and for me. They have made me a part of their families with no hesitation. I have seen them over come such struggles and hold each others hands while going through it. I hope and pray that I can learn from them in order to be as they are with my children. I may not agree with their decisions as they get older, but I will always be there for them....letting them know that along the way. I always tell my children I love them and I always will. I will be there by their side through everything....maybe biting my lip at times, but know they need to grow and learn without my opinions. I want them to learn how to practice unconditional love so that they can pass it on to others that enter their lives. I am still learning and will continue to learn knowing that everything takes time.
What I am thankful for today:
The Borelli's
Jamie's entire family
Melinda's entrie family
The Platt's
my children
my pets
my teachers my customers
my friends
my family
unconditional love
this beautiful day
Do you know that besides God there are only two beings that know how to give unconditional love to it's fullest? Any ideas? It is our pets and our children. We can lock our pets outside without food and water for a week and they will still love us. We can smack them on the but with a newspaper when they pee on the floor...and they still love us. We can go months without paying any attention to our pets, and yet they still come running when we come in the door, they still sleep at our feet at night, they still show affection.
Same goes with children. A friend of mine is a social worker and used to tell me stories of her times going into homes to take away babies and pets from abused homes. These babies are beaten, neglected, malnurished by their parents and yet, they still want to be held by them and they still love them.
As I get older, I now finally at 36 years of age, know what unconditional love means. For me, it is taking the good and the bad of a person and loving them anyway. It is looking past their flaws and embracing the good in them. It is standing by their side through any given situation whether you believe it is wrong or right. It is the understanding that when we have a problem with someone else, it is actually an issue with ourselves. Once we realize that we can let go of the opinions and learn how to deal with people and situations much better. Not everyone is going to like everything about a person. Thanks to Heather not only did she point this out but she also made sure that I knew it is ok. It is how we deal with what we do not like about that person that matters.
There are 4 families that after being around them for over 15 years, I can see the uncontional love they have for one another....and for me. They have made me a part of their families with no hesitation. I have seen them over come such struggles and hold each others hands while going through it. I hope and pray that I can learn from them in order to be as they are with my children. I may not agree with their decisions as they get older, but I will always be there for them....letting them know that along the way. I always tell my children I love them and I always will. I will be there by their side through everything....maybe biting my lip at times, but know they need to grow and learn without my opinions. I want them to learn how to practice unconditional love so that they can pass it on to others that enter their lives. I am still learning and will continue to learn knowing that everything takes time.
What I am thankful for today:
The Borelli's
Jamie's entire family
Melinda's entrie family
The Platt's
my children
my pets
my teachers my customers
my friends
my family
unconditional love
this beautiful day
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Do You Honestly Heal Your Emotional Wounds
Through therapy sessions I have learned the difference between healing tears and tears of depression and saddness. I have learned that if you are still crying over something and it has been years since it has happened, you are not crying healing tears. You may not be one to talk to a therapist, you may not be someone who talks about issues at all. And, you do not need to talk to anyone other than God. Know that talking does help no matter how much it hurts. Surpressing feelings will not allow the healing process to even start. It also makes a person spiteful, angry, frustrated, and unable to grow. It also keeps a person from being able to be truly grateful.
Most of us have suffered from a broken heart. Whether be a loss of a mate, a pet, a friend, a relative, even a child. Some have experienced all of the above, including myself. Some have experienced other tragedies that keep them mourning for years. We all need to heal and let go of the weight we carry which keeps our heart feeling heavy.
Life is too short. We need to let go and move on. We honestly are not living if we chose to keep mourning events and loss from the past. Turn those tears of saddness and loss into healing tears. Cry with hope instead of loss. Ask your angels to put their hands on your shoulder, ask God for help in healing. Ask the universe how if you are unsure. You will get your answer.
I have come a long way from losing a friend in a car accident, watching my grandmother lose her battle with cancer (who was also my best friend), losing a baby, losing jobs, losing relationships...and so on. And although there will always be that little part of me that misses the people I have lost....I know they are still there. I do not cry anymore over the fact that they are not physically here. I rejoice in the memories of the time I got to spend with them. I embrace the memories through pictures and visions in my head. I talk to them as though they are standing right next to me. I am fulfilled because I know they are still right beside me, alhtough I cannot see them. I am healed.
What I am thankful for today:
the time I had with the love ones I have lost
the power of prayer
the power to heal yourself
time with my children
the friendships I have had for a long time and the friendships I am creating now.
laughter
healing and the healing of others
the article in The Morning Call
the call I got today from Saucon Mannor
the health of my loved ones and myself
my peaceful mind, body, and spirit
my home
my store
support
loyalty
love
Most of us have suffered from a broken heart. Whether be a loss of a mate, a pet, a friend, a relative, even a child. Some have experienced all of the above, including myself. Some have experienced other tragedies that keep them mourning for years. We all need to heal and let go of the weight we carry which keeps our heart feeling heavy.
Life is too short. We need to let go and move on. We honestly are not living if we chose to keep mourning events and loss from the past. Turn those tears of saddness and loss into healing tears. Cry with hope instead of loss. Ask your angels to put their hands on your shoulder, ask God for help in healing. Ask the universe how if you are unsure. You will get your answer.
I have come a long way from losing a friend in a car accident, watching my grandmother lose her battle with cancer (who was also my best friend), losing a baby, losing jobs, losing relationships...and so on. And although there will always be that little part of me that misses the people I have lost....I know they are still there. I do not cry anymore over the fact that they are not physically here. I rejoice in the memories of the time I got to spend with them. I embrace the memories through pictures and visions in my head. I talk to them as though they are standing right next to me. I am fulfilled because I know they are still right beside me, alhtough I cannot see them. I am healed.
What I am thankful for today:
the time I had with the love ones I have lost
the power of prayer
the power to heal yourself
time with my children
the friendships I have had for a long time and the friendships I am creating now.
laughter
healing and the healing of others
the article in The Morning Call
the call I got today from Saucon Mannor
the health of my loved ones and myself
my peaceful mind, body, and spirit
my home
my store
support
loyalty
love
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