Believe

Today's Daily Teaching:

There are two kinds of people:
Those who say, "I will believe it when I see it."
And those who say, "To see it, I know I must believe it."

I can be honest in saying that I totally used to be the first of the two. And, I hear people say this all the time. Living The Secret, I know we must believe in order to see.

Being that my life is crazy right now and I have to feel the brunt of judgement from others, I was stuck not seeing a way out of this. Why is it that people think they know how we should live our lives? Why do they have to even judge at all? No, not everyone needs to agree with how others live. However, we all need to keep that to ourselves and let them go about their business. Enough venting. Every night when I write in my Gratitude Book I write something to the affect that I am thankful for seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I am thankful for people allowing me to live my life without placing judgement on me. I am thankful that I do not allow other people's opinions affect my decisions. I am thankful for my peaceful mind, body, and spirit. I am thankful that people's judgement will not bother me.

Although I may not completely feel these things now, I believe they will come. I believe that we create our lives with what we believe in. Faith comes into play here too and this is why I pray for faith to pursue what I believe in every night. I pray that God leads me in the direction I need to go. So far he has not steered me wrong. I love the person I am now and I could never say that before. If others do not like me for who I am, it is there problem and it will not affect me.

In therapy it was brought to my attention that I am at a place in my life where I actually know what I want and will go after it. I am healing every day from the turmoil of my past experiences which at one time I kept buried deep within. Yes it is hard to resurface issues and open old wounds. I firmly believe to heal we need to do this. With the support of my friends who have proven to me that no matter what, they are by my side...not placing judgement, not criticizing.....I will get through everything that is ahead of me. I will get through what I need to and live my life to the fullest. This I truly believe.

What I am thankful for today:
The following friends for loving me enough to let me live my life the best I know how and still supporting me in every way. I love you guys!
Jamie
Diane
Jenny
Rachel
Heather
Jen
Buffy
Melinda
Sally
Tricia
Shawn
Todd
Rudy
Bob
Brian
Mike
Missy
Kirsten
Rita
Annie
Kathy
Denise
Judy
Kate
Cheryl

I am also thankful for:
Amy Grant's Time Again Concert DVD which I have been watching all day as an inspiration.
Her book which let me know that her life was not too far off mine.
The Daily Teachings
August Classes
my new side-walk sign for the store!! Thank you HEATHER!
Playing Wii with Makenna, Gavin and Jenny last night.
the sunshine today
getting things done
Makenna climbing in bed with me every night and wrapping her arms around my neck.
Gavin and Makenna singing (loudly) the Daughtry CD in my car last night.
getting into a size Medium!!!!
the piece of jewelry Shawn made me for my birthday.
Knowing that I can 'lay down my burden and God will carry me' ~Amy Grant
The Healing Place
my life

Free Therapy.....The Best Kind

Last night I was lucky enough to get a free therapy session from my neighbor Rudy. I have a few in my life who have experienced lots of life lessons and he is one of them. I value his philosophy on life and I enjoy hearing it, especially while eating chocolate pudding pie.....LOL! Thank you for the pie Diane! Rudy has been married 4 times. I guess it just takes some of us longer than others to get to the right person. He feels like I do, you have to go through these experiences to get to where you want to be. Do I look down on him or being married 4 times, absolutely not. Who am I to judge the decisions he has made. All I know is that he is now completely happy in his life and that is all that matters. As we all know that when one is happy, they make everyone around them happy as well.

What I learned from his talk last night was that I need to stand up for myself. I also need to stand up for what I believe in. I believe in happiness and I believe that we all need to fill ourselves up in order to spread our happiness to others. I was under the assumption that filling ourselves up was selfish. This is why I spent my entire life so far trying to make others happy while feeling very empty inside. I gave all I had until I ended up with nothing and in a depression. Then of course almost everyone left my side because I had nothing left to give..... except for my true friends.

Right now, I am going to concentrate on myself. With no commitments, no obligations, no promises to anyone but myself. This is the first time I am able to say that I am completely fine with being alone. It is the first time that I am free of fear, free of insecurity and can feel complete by myself. I will be so much more ready to face any relationship that comes my way. And I know that I have a wonderful life in store for me. And, whoever ends up by my side through life will feel that happiness and positivity that I now feel. Nothing is more wonderful than being able to spread your joy. However, we HAVE to feel it inside ourselves.....first.

What I am thankful for today:
Rudy
Diane
my free therapy session last night
Crop for a Cure today!!
chocolate pudding pie
Redi-Whip
long talks
my health
my happiness
the happiness of my family & friends
music
creative people
intelligent people
open mindedness
freedom
my courage
my faith

Fear & Depression

My daily teaching today is: When you are afraid of something happening, by law you attract it, although fortunately it takes real focus and persistent fear to bring it to you. The amount of emotion you invest in not wanting something to happen is powerful. At the same time it is also impossible to bring what you want when you hold so much fear about the outcome you don't want.

Remove your personal investment of fear from what you don't want to happen, and now use that powerful energy and direct it to what you want.

No matter what you have been thinking or feeling, your power to create something new is NOW.

Well, it is time to get rid of any fear I have, huh? As I think about it I am so not fearful of anything right now. I know that God has a wonderful life in store for me. All I need to do is keep the faith and believe. I liked this teaching and wanted to share it since we all know what it is like to have fear.

A perfect example of this happening is my friend Shawn. For the past couple of months he has been very fearful of his health and his depression. Although his intentions are good in wanting to get better, his fear took over. He is depressed again and suffering very badly from it. Thankfully he has me to understand what he is going through and he still continues to call me even though he is avoiding all of his other friends. I am the only one who doesn't judge him, criticize him, or put him down. And, because he feeds off my positive energy he does feel like a new person when he is done talking to me. However, this is something that he needs to go to his doctor for. It will not bother me if I have to drag him there. I know he wants to be better and I know all he needs is support from someone who understands. And, I also know that he will not be angry with me because he knows that I will only do what is best for him.

My take on all of this is to turn your fear into positive thoughts. Or, say a prayer and ask God to relieve you of your fears and fill you up with positive thoughts. It has worked for me.

What I am thankful for today:
My full class going on as I write
the ladies laughing
my surprise party last night (thank you ladies!)
Carvel ice cream cake
my busy weekend
my friends
creativity
positive influences
laughing so hard that my stomach hurts
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Dvd's
my courage
my strength
Heat Miser (HA HA HA!)
the birthday presents from my friends
my children
time to scrapbook on Saturday with my gals
Diane for watching Makenna for a little yesterday while I ran PartyLite books around town.
PartyLite

It's My Life

Through Diane this morning..LOL...the song "It's My life" was mentioned to me. Lately I have been feeling like I have to prove myself to people. I have been feeling the weight of being judged, which was the reason for my last blog. I try to keep in mind that this is a problem that other people have within themselves and that they are the ones who have to learn to deal with it. If it wasn't for therapy I would have never realized that. We are who we are and not everyone has to agree with us and the direction we take in life. Knowing that in The Secret it states that we all make the proper decisions for ourselves (cannot mention that quote enough lately) there will still be those opinionated people who have to put in their two cents. It is how we chose to deal with it that makes a difference. For the past couple of days, I have been stuck with this weight laying heavy on my heart and having a hard time letting go of it. So, last night I chose to write in my Gratitude Book then I said a prayer. I prayed that God will relieve me of this burden. I prayed that he will lead me in the direction of my dreams, a life that is perfect for me and my children. I prayed that he surrounds me with people who support me whether or not they agree with my decisions. I prayed that I feel a balance of energy and am overflowed with positive thoughts and energy. Most of the times I fall asleep in the middle of praying but last night I managed to get it all out. I know I needed it. Today, I woke up feeling much better and feeling less heaviness on my heart. God will walk me through life as long as I allow him too. I can make no mistakes for nothing is a mistake...everything happens for a reason. This is MY life and the only one who can live it is me.

It's My Life By Bon Jovi

This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
No silent prayer for the faith departed
And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky, gotta make your own breaks

It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life

You better stand tall
When they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break
Baby, don't back down

It's my life
It's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"
I just wanna live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life!

What I am thankful for today:
Diane
feeling better today
the power of prayer
rain
my new Partylite catalogs
getting together with the girls tonight
Jamie
Jenny
Shawn
Jen
Heather
Buffy
Melinda
my children
getting the Scrapping the Music Challenge done yesterday
Thursday night's class being full
the messages we get through music
a great night's sleep last night
a great day today!