In the process of moving my store, I had the guilt of leaving my landlord, a family friend with an empty run down building and no income coming in on the property. Funny how when we close a door, we still feel that hesitation to proceed to open a new one. Obviously I was making this much harder on myself than I needed to. Looking for a definite sign that I needed to move on that never seemed to hit me...at least hard enough. Apparently the lack of parking, steps, condition of my current building and immense electric bills were not a big enough sign. LOL! Though there were a lot of issues in the building I started in, I found so much appreciation to use it in order to get started. And, once I focused on the things I was appreciative about, my signs to move on started coming.
So, I opened a new door. The new door to my store opened for the first time to customers on Jan. 8th. Little did I know that so many people knew who I was and wanted to come into my store but would not enter the other building because of it's condition. Although no one seemed to complain, which I am glad they didn't, I feel badly that it took this long for them to actually come in and experience my happy place with me.
Time is what it is though. We all want to open new doors but it has to be the right time. We may never know when that is. Keeping the faith, the patience, the appreciation for what I had and a lot of prayers are what helped me get to where I am. Never did I give up. Came close once.....but thanks to friends bringing me back to reality, I know where I want to be and realize that the frustration of getting here was just weighing me down. I took a little over a year to take a good hard look of who I was, who I became, what I wanted and who I wanted in my life. I am exactly where I want to be. I live for me, which makes me a better mom, friend, daughter, girlfriend, and person all around. Things fall into place when they are meant to...when you are in the right frame of mind and being eternally grateful.
Do you know where you want to be? Do you know who you want to be? Once you know, you at least have an idea of where to start and what to start praying for. God brought Erika into my life at a moment of not knowing how I was going to achieve the next step to my dreams. God brought Shelley into my life so that Erika and I could take the steps together, when we were ready. God surrounds me with positive people, people I need right now to help me grow; in business, in love, in appreciation, in life. I did feel stuck for a long time but I never gave up hope. If you have a good network of friends, true honest friends, they will never let you fall.....at least far. We all have to fall sometimes, it is getting back up that matters.
What I am thankful for today:
my friends who I cannot thank enough for helping me become who I am
my family
my children who I hope I can be a good example for
Faith, because without it there is no hope
God who knows what is best for us and will answer prayers if they are in our best interest
my new store and customers
my new landlords who are amazing
my creative spark coming back
heat being off in my store and it is still nice and toasty
my pets who comfort me
The Center, my other Happy Place
the ability to stand up in front of everyone at church on Sunday to perform the service without puking or fainting.
time
being in control of my life and what I want to do
music
Shawn who supports me no matter what and lets me be me
laughter, we laughed so hard this weekend
love
the gym
the new adventure with my store
being 100% completely happy and content
knowing that we can achieve anything that we put our mind too
my life
Monday, January 10, 2011
Friday, December 10, 2010
The Best Gifts of Christmas
Christmas to me is a lot more than just presents, cookies, Christmas trees, Christmas music and so on. To me Christmas is a lot of things that cannot be wrapped, measured or weighed. Instead of creating my thankful list today, I am going to create my list of what is really important to me at Christmas. Of course I am eternally grateful for everything on it.
1. time with family and friends
2. the smell of the season; cookies baking, the tree, holiday candles burning, etc.
3. the smiles on children, especially my own when the see a beautiful Christmas tree, when they 'purchase' or handmake a gift for their loved ones, when Frosty the Snowman is on TV, when they are sprinkling cut out cookies with tons of colored sugar, when they sing aloud the songs of the season.
4. hosting parties and laughing with the girls, drinking wine, trying on jewelry, smelling candles, playing games and eating way too many sweets.
5. handmaking Christmas cards
6. the kids running down the stairs to see what Santa brought
7. candle light service at church on Christmas Eve
8. memories of when I was a child at Christmas
9. hot chocolate with marshmallows and maybe even a little Baily's
10. Makenna talking about how it will soon be Jesus birthday and her excitement being Mary in her school play.
11. baking cookies with Makenna
12. my mom and She-She baking Christmas cookies every year with the kids.
13. giving my mom an early Christmas present every Christmas Eve.
14. all the holiday children's movies.
15. giving to charities, homeless shelters and anyone less fortunate than myself.
16. the excitement of the kids when they open their advent calendars every morning from my mom. They play a guessing game and try to guess what it is.
17. red nail polish on my toes
18. Christmas Books; The Grinch, The Polar Express, The Night Before Christmas and more.
19. nativities
20. Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith's Christmas CDs
21. sea shells hanging on the Christmas tree with a starfish on top.
22. handmade gifts
23. two red cardinals
24. going shopping with my dad
25. enjoying my dads birthday right before Christmas
26. grateful people
27. candy canes, which I do not eat...LOL!
28. Moose Munch which I will hopefully get this year in my stocking...LOL!
29. the trill of finding the perfect gift.
30. the thrill of finding a GREAT sale!
31. decorating the tree with the kids.
32. Makenna in her Christmas dress.....(dresses)
33. pictures of the kids and the family together.
34. decorating the house.
35. holiday traditions.
36. Chloe thinking the tree is hers.
37. stockings being hung.
38. Silent Night
39. candles
40. the birth of our Savior.
41. being blessed with the people I have in my life.
42. being truly grateful for all that I have.
43. signs from above.
There are so many more....but I am out of time. Dinner needs to be made, laundry needs to be switched over, presents should be wrapped, and PartyLite should be gone through. I am very excited about tomorrow night with our Christmas party at work. I am so thankful for everyone who has helped make this past year a wonderful year. Blessings to all.
1. time with family and friends
2. the smell of the season; cookies baking, the tree, holiday candles burning, etc.
3. the smiles on children, especially my own when the see a beautiful Christmas tree, when they 'purchase' or handmake a gift for their loved ones, when Frosty the Snowman is on TV, when they are sprinkling cut out cookies with tons of colored sugar, when they sing aloud the songs of the season.
4. hosting parties and laughing with the girls, drinking wine, trying on jewelry, smelling candles, playing games and eating way too many sweets.
5. handmaking Christmas cards
6. the kids running down the stairs to see what Santa brought
7. candle light service at church on Christmas Eve
8. memories of when I was a child at Christmas
9. hot chocolate with marshmallows and maybe even a little Baily's
10. Makenna talking about how it will soon be Jesus birthday and her excitement being Mary in her school play.
11. baking cookies with Makenna
12. my mom and She-She baking Christmas cookies every year with the kids.
13. giving my mom an early Christmas present every Christmas Eve.
14. all the holiday children's movies.
15. giving to charities, homeless shelters and anyone less fortunate than myself.
16. the excitement of the kids when they open their advent calendars every morning from my mom. They play a guessing game and try to guess what it is.
17. red nail polish on my toes
18. Christmas Books; The Grinch, The Polar Express, The Night Before Christmas and more.
19. nativities
20. Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith's Christmas CDs
21. sea shells hanging on the Christmas tree with a starfish on top.
22. handmade gifts
23. two red cardinals
24. going shopping with my dad
25. enjoying my dads birthday right before Christmas
26. grateful people
27. candy canes, which I do not eat...LOL!
28. Moose Munch which I will hopefully get this year in my stocking...LOL!
29. the trill of finding the perfect gift.
30. the thrill of finding a GREAT sale!
31. decorating the tree with the kids.
32. Makenna in her Christmas dress.....(dresses)
33. pictures of the kids and the family together.
34. decorating the house.
35. holiday traditions.
36. Chloe thinking the tree is hers.
37. stockings being hung.
38. Silent Night
39. candles
40. the birth of our Savior.
41. being blessed with the people I have in my life.
42. being truly grateful for all that I have.
43. signs from above.
There are so many more....but I am out of time. Dinner needs to be made, laundry needs to be switched over, presents should be wrapped, and PartyLite should be gone through. I am very excited about tomorrow night with our Christmas party at work. I am so thankful for everyone who has helped make this past year a wonderful year. Blessings to all.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
A Time I will Never Forget
During my trying teenage years, back in the mid to later 80's times were not as they are now. However, they were similar with the bullying, the peer pressure, drugs, alcohol, kids skipping school, etc. What do kids do today to stay away from all the negativity?
Fortunately for me, my church had a wonderful group of kids that was brought together by a woman named Kim. We formed a group called Animation. Fortunately my parents made me spend time at my church in order to become a part of this group. Animation was a group of about 15-20 children ages ranging from 14-18. We had fellowship, spent time on retreats, went to concerts, but mostly spent time rehearsing for plays that were written and choreographed by Kim. There were probably about 4 or 5 different plays, 2 in which I was in. Druzba and Smashed were the ones I was in. Druzba is the one I do not remember as well. I do remember playing an angel at one point and that the play was based in Russia at Christmas time.
Smashed is the one I remember most. I remember the relationships that Kim had paired us up in. One person was handicap, I was in a relationship with someone much older than me, and it was to show that God accepts everyone in any condition and we should too. I remember one of the cast members played the part of an alcoholic who got into a car accident from drunk driving and killed a best friend. He wanted to turn to the devil. With the help of all of his friends supporting him during this tragic time, he found God. He became sober and healed from his tragic loss.
Kim now has a Christan Drama School in New Jersey. It is amazing to me to know that Animation is what started her on the road to her lifetime career. Although she was not with us last night, I know she was there in spirit.
Talking with everyone last night I finally had the chance to tell them what they did for me. It was each of them that kept me walking in God's light. It was them that helped me to make the right decisions and gave me the support I needed that I wasn't getting from the kids at school. It was Animation who made me feel accepted in a time where school did not. They loved me for who I was whether or not I had the in style clothing, the perfect hair (which God knows I didn't,,,,LOL!), the great grades, etc. Never once did I turn to drugs or alcohol or feel the need to skip school to be cool. I may have 'run away from home' a few times in the heat of a fight with my mom, but I always had Animation to run home to. I thank God for them. I thank God for giving us the time last night to be together once more.
You all know how I am about signs from the other side. We walked into the living room with intentions of getting pictures taken together. On the TV was a music channel. As soon as I turned the corner to go into the room, I hear Amy Grant. Her song Angels Watching Over Me was on. We immediately turned it up, started singing and dancing. I smiled to myself knowing that we were all where we were supposed to be. Our angles had brought us together and were celebrating with us the miracle of our never ending friendship.
What I am thankful for today:
Animation
my friends
my family
my kids
understanding
loyalty
laughter
memories
acceptance
love
my pets
The Center
the sunshine
rainbows
energy
time
music
Amy Grant
scrapbooking
my health
the health of my loved ones
my dad feeling better
Shawn
my bed
my home
my jeep
my store
full classes
heat
every minute I get to spend with the ones I love
A wondeful Thanksgiving day
Fortunately for me, my church had a wonderful group of kids that was brought together by a woman named Kim. We formed a group called Animation. Fortunately my parents made me spend time at my church in order to become a part of this group. Animation was a group of about 15-20 children ages ranging from 14-18. We had fellowship, spent time on retreats, went to concerts, but mostly spent time rehearsing for plays that were written and choreographed by Kim. There were probably about 4 or 5 different plays, 2 in which I was in. Druzba and Smashed were the ones I was in. Druzba is the one I do not remember as well. I do remember playing an angel at one point and that the play was based in Russia at Christmas time.
Smashed is the one I remember most. I remember the relationships that Kim had paired us up in. One person was handicap, I was in a relationship with someone much older than me, and it was to show that God accepts everyone in any condition and we should too. I remember one of the cast members played the part of an alcoholic who got into a car accident from drunk driving and killed a best friend. He wanted to turn to the devil. With the help of all of his friends supporting him during this tragic time, he found God. He became sober and healed from his tragic loss.
Kim now has a Christan Drama School in New Jersey. It is amazing to me to know that Animation is what started her on the road to her lifetime career. Although she was not with us last night, I know she was there in spirit.
Talking with everyone last night I finally had the chance to tell them what they did for me. It was each of them that kept me walking in God's light. It was them that helped me to make the right decisions and gave me the support I needed that I wasn't getting from the kids at school. It was Animation who made me feel accepted in a time where school did not. They loved me for who I was whether or not I had the in style clothing, the perfect hair (which God knows I didn't,,,,LOL!), the great grades, etc. Never once did I turn to drugs or alcohol or feel the need to skip school to be cool. I may have 'run away from home' a few times in the heat of a fight with my mom, but I always had Animation to run home to. I thank God for them. I thank God for giving us the time last night to be together once more.
You all know how I am about signs from the other side. We walked into the living room with intentions of getting pictures taken together. On the TV was a music channel. As soon as I turned the corner to go into the room, I hear Amy Grant. Her song Angels Watching Over Me was on. We immediately turned it up, started singing and dancing. I smiled to myself knowing that we were all where we were supposed to be. Our angles had brought us together and were celebrating with us the miracle of our never ending friendship.
What I am thankful for today:
Animation
my friends
my family
my kids
understanding
loyalty
laughter
memories
acceptance
love
my pets
The Center
the sunshine
rainbows
energy
time
music
Amy Grant
scrapbooking
my health
the health of my loved ones
my dad feeling better
Shawn
my bed
my home
my jeep
my store
full classes
heat
every minute I get to spend with the ones I love
A wondeful Thanksgiving day
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Ralph Stover Park & An Amazing Day
Here I am at work with 100000000000 things I should be doing instead of sitting here blogging BUT.....
Yesterday was amazing and I just had to write about it. Jennifer G took Makenna for most part of the day to play with Jessica so that Shawn and I could spend the day together for his birthday. Knowing my financial situation doesn't allow me much freedom right now, I made it clear that we had to be creative for his birthday this year. I have to laugh because he is such a laid back person who honestly lives happily with very little material things....so why I am so worried that I cannot spend money on him? I don't know.
A few days before his birthday he called me to tell me that he knows what he wants. All he wanted was to spend the day with me. Awww.... He knew that I had never visited Ralph Stover Park before and one thing we really enjoy together is hiking. We hiked for an hour and a half up and down this gorgeous mountain with a creek running at the bottom. He fished for a little but didn't get any bites. I managed to get some pictures which showed how high we were and some turkey buzzards that were in a tree near by. Although there was very little conversation we connected so much through the beauty of the surrounding nature.
On the way home we were starving. We stopped at this cute little restaurant called the Cactus Grill. We ate dinner in front of a window with a great view of the sunset. My order was Chicken & Spinach Ravioli which was to die for! When we arrived back at his house we ate chocolate cake and ice cream watching a marathon of the show The Haunted. Perfect ending to a great day....at least for us.
Many people do not know this but rainbows are a sign to me which meaning is that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at that moment. Music fits in with that as well. On our way to Ralph Stover, I saw about 3 different rainbows caused by reflections of the sun....they were not actually in the sky. I had to laugh to myself because I felt like I was were I needed to be. At Shelleys a couple of weeks ago, I walked into her home to see rainbows all over her wall, all created by a prism she had in her kitchen window. It actually took my breath away since Shelley and I both agree that God brought us together. When sitting having tea, Makenna looked up at Shelley and laughed. She said, "Shelley, you have a rainbow on your forehead!" I then told Shelley the meaning that rainbows have in my life. She smiled and mentioned that she felt that she was where she was supposed to be as well.
Do you have a sign? Think of one. It can be anything with any meaning. It will help you to realize that the path you are on is the right path, the one that God has chosen for you. I feel a sense of comfort when I see my rainbows. The last rainbow I saw in the sky was when I was on my way home from taking Gavin to the dentist. That horrifying trip that drained all of us to no end. The assistant told me how good I was and how patient I was with Gavin which was nice to hear when you doubting yourself....then to walk out and that rainbow be the first thing I see. I knew that God was smiling down on me letting me know everything will be alright. I was exactly where I was supposed to be, enduring an experience with Gavin which will help both of us grow. No one knows why we have to go through certain things....but there is something to learn from everything we encounter.
What I am thankful for today:
Jennifer G for taking Makenna for the day
Time spend with Shawn
My kids
My Pets
My friends
Quality time
Ralph Stover Park
Nature
Rainbows
Love
Laughter
Good food
Hot Tea
Chocolate cake
Appreciation
Silence
Dinner at church tonight
My PartyLite Party
The Secret Woman's Club tomorrow!!
Heat
My winter coat
Music
Full classes
My store
God
Answered prayers
Faith
My strength
My confidence
Motivation
Energy
My health
Knowing I am right where I should be
Yesterday was amazing and I just had to write about it. Jennifer G took Makenna for most part of the day to play with Jessica so that Shawn and I could spend the day together for his birthday. Knowing my financial situation doesn't allow me much freedom right now, I made it clear that we had to be creative for his birthday this year. I have to laugh because he is such a laid back person who honestly lives happily with very little material things....so why I am so worried that I cannot spend money on him? I don't know.
A few days before his birthday he called me to tell me that he knows what he wants. All he wanted was to spend the day with me. Awww.... He knew that I had never visited Ralph Stover Park before and one thing we really enjoy together is hiking. We hiked for an hour and a half up and down this gorgeous mountain with a creek running at the bottom. He fished for a little but didn't get any bites. I managed to get some pictures which showed how high we were and some turkey buzzards that were in a tree near by. Although there was very little conversation we connected so much through the beauty of the surrounding nature.
On the way home we were starving. We stopped at this cute little restaurant called the Cactus Grill. We ate dinner in front of a window with a great view of the sunset. My order was Chicken & Spinach Ravioli which was to die for! When we arrived back at his house we ate chocolate cake and ice cream watching a marathon of the show The Haunted. Perfect ending to a great day....at least for us.
Many people do not know this but rainbows are a sign to me which meaning is that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at that moment. Music fits in with that as well. On our way to Ralph Stover, I saw about 3 different rainbows caused by reflections of the sun....they were not actually in the sky. I had to laugh to myself because I felt like I was were I needed to be. At Shelleys a couple of weeks ago, I walked into her home to see rainbows all over her wall, all created by a prism she had in her kitchen window. It actually took my breath away since Shelley and I both agree that God brought us together. When sitting having tea, Makenna looked up at Shelley and laughed. She said, "Shelley, you have a rainbow on your forehead!" I then told Shelley the meaning that rainbows have in my life. She smiled and mentioned that she felt that she was where she was supposed to be as well.
Do you have a sign? Think of one. It can be anything with any meaning. It will help you to realize that the path you are on is the right path, the one that God has chosen for you. I feel a sense of comfort when I see my rainbows. The last rainbow I saw in the sky was when I was on my way home from taking Gavin to the dentist. That horrifying trip that drained all of us to no end. The assistant told me how good I was and how patient I was with Gavin which was nice to hear when you doubting yourself....then to walk out and that rainbow be the first thing I see. I knew that God was smiling down on me letting me know everything will be alright. I was exactly where I was supposed to be, enduring an experience with Gavin which will help both of us grow. No one knows why we have to go through certain things....but there is something to learn from everything we encounter.
What I am thankful for today:
Jennifer G for taking Makenna for the day
Time spend with Shawn
My kids
My Pets
My friends
Quality time
Ralph Stover Park
Nature
Rainbows
Love
Laughter
Good food
Hot Tea
Chocolate cake
Appreciation
Silence
Dinner at church tonight
My PartyLite Party
The Secret Woman's Club tomorrow!!
Heat
My winter coat
Music
Full classes
My store
God
Answered prayers
Faith
My strength
My confidence
Motivation
Energy
My health
Knowing I am right where I should be
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